I Blahg !

Arbit thoughts

2011-01-19T08:49:00.000-08:00

A) halo!( That's a very lovely greeting by the way.Abhinav alias sabi introduced that..supposed to be very romantic and sweet..so all you pretty gals reading this..get the point!)

B) Girls are like twitter.Not because you can 'follow' and 'tweet' them (I am such a pervert,really!) but because the twitter server acts just like the gal you are hitting on.For example:

C)Remember those days when you used to avoid studying or doing homework because there was a powercut and how your parents used to say 'Visveshwaraya' (or some other brainy guy) studied under the street lights,if you have interest you can do anything. Well that was long time back, he didn't have distractions like now..I mean even on street light....Sigh!

Btw that is Mallika Sherawat in HISSS

D) 10 months down the lane and I still don't get it.
In school it was called copying or more derogatorily ‘cheating’ when you wrote down what your neighbor wrote in the exam because you had no f-ing idea what to write yourself.
But in the corporate world its called “implementing the best practices”.This happens when your boss has no idea how to cope with an issue and just rips off what is being practiced by another team which is working on similar issues.

E)But still we are very 'kind' people.I mean we kindly use the word kind so many kindly fucking times.

ex-
Kindly do the needful.
Kindly revert back
Kindly follow the process fo blah blah.
Kindly call back.
Kindly regret the inconvenience caused(yeah happened,though not intentional)

F) Changing tracks to politics,
Pakistan is a failed state really.The military is ruling and looting that nation. Whereas ours is a true democracy, not just the army everyone gets a piece of the pie

INDIA WINS!!!

G) Currently one of my friend has put up a really weird profile photo in Facebook.Its actually not even a picture.Completely black window.That's it.

Now this is kind of weird really.Imagine Facebook was the real world and profile pictures are what you see of each other when you meet them.So if you were to meet this guy in particular it would be like,well, a guy in Burqa.

Yes! A guy in Burqa.Well the conversations would probably be like the comments he got for that.(Copying the comments directly.No offense to any one really)

#
ConcernedFriend1 ‎.............................???? :-/

#
Black Photo guy ‎@ConcernedFriend1 : hehehehe

#
ConcernedFriend1 what do U wanna convey dude.........??

#
Concerned Gal he he!!! wats the matter!!! :)

#
Black Photo guy ‎@Friend1 : ntng to convey mate
@Concerned Gal : well heheheheh nice no

(ya right! it would be 'nice' if it were in a fancy dress competition back when you were in 1st grade)

#
Concerned Gal ya... creative!!! keep it white... no sad sad!!!

#
Black Photo guy hahahahah well will change it after a few days

#
Nocreativitysense friend super... profile pic man :) most creative1 indeed..

(thinks Concerned gal is totally wrong and finds a black picture instead of happy white as most creative.indeed.)
#
Black Photo guy‎@Nocreativitysense friend : thnxx bro

#
Ilikeanythingdifferentgal fantastic....!!!

(Fantastically stupid)
#
Black Photo guy
‎@Ilikeanythingdifferentgal : thnxxx:)

(feels so good about himself after hearing a compliment about his burqa avatar.Blushes a lot,but behind the burqa ofcourse!)

#
Smartgal hmmm... makes so much sense lo.... wr did u get this from Black Photo guy? i cant believe d things it s depicting.... a true marvel....

#
Black Photo guy ‎@Smartgal : its just a dumb black picture :)

#
Smartgal cant believe u din get d sarcasm Black Photo guy... :P

#
Black Photo guy ‎@Smartgal : well nt in such a great mood ya .. so i think i overlooked it
(Thanks the gods for getting an excuse to finally express the actual feeling and reason for wearing burqa)
#
Smartgal ayo... wats wrong?

#
Black Photo guy ‎@Smartgal come on chat(Read as 'come to our adda')

#
Funnyguy Nice pic dude.. U r looking nice, hot, sexy & handsome here in tis pic!

(He means something like this)

#
Funnyguy ‎:p

#
Dumbgal Wats this...............??? (

#
Funnyguy Black Photo guy`s pic

#
Black Photo guy ‎@Dumbgal : its a pic
@Funnyguy : heheheh funny

H) Same guy had a status update on Facebook some time back that read "LEAVE ME ALONE"
Yes leave me alone!
Seriously having such status message is like

1) Rakhi Sawanth giving Justice in bikini.
2) Terrorist in his traditional Afghani attire with a long beard and turban with an AK47 in one hand and a bomb in another, getting the directions and talking in a faint voice about the top secret mission into the microphone hidden somewhere in between his hairy face in Times Square.
3) "champagne" and other such one word status updates with a hidden lame meaning put up by girls to make guys wonder.

yes,its all pure ATTENTION SEEKING!!

I)am really really bored and the Black photo guy is really a nice fellow.

in past tense

2010-10-09T12:34:00.000-07:00

I AM BACCCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh! That's Vidya Balan's back...sorry....nevermind ...mmmm.

1)First of all does any one still read blogs or should it be, does anyone still blog?

2) Ok for those who do read ,this is me on a comeback post and I would loveee some " Baaand Baaja" ( Band baaja baraath music is playing in the background ) for that.Songs in that movie seem fresh and hip so that's the reason am listening to it and NOT at all because 90% of my friends these days are talking about the M word. MARRIAGE.

3) Everyone of us normal souls who did not live in the 'FRIENDS' and 'HIMYM' sitcoms usually have 2,3 gangs right? Like oldest strongest gang, then the casual ones,the college gang, the work place gang etc.So I was saying wherever and whichever gang I meet these days somehow end up with the topic of marriage.Marriage of their sisters(and all the responsibilities), marriage of their friends,marriage of their girlfriend/boyfriend(with someone else.papa) and last but not the least their own marriage(ex: Sabi). And today being Children's Day it feels even more sad because you want to be kid while your friends want kids.SAD SAD SAD .MUMMYYYY :'(((

4) Moving on I recently saw the gr8 Thalaivar on the BIG SCREEN.Yup for the 1st time in 21 years of my life I watched a RAJNI's movie "ROBOT" in theater.Rajni is legendary, proof of it is the endless SMS jokes that land up in your inbox more than anything else that you would rather expect.So here I was on the 3rd week after release standing in a long Que for tickets to balcony seats.Soon we realized the balcony seats were sold out and the Que was for the next show.RAJNI MANIA DAMN YOU!!.So with no other choice we stood and got a 2nd class tickets and entered the dark hall(not hole).It was a crazy experience I tell you. Having ended up with a seat in 3rd row from the screen and having Rajni practically jumping out on every damn corner of the huge F$$kin screen.Thank god Shankar did not go for 3D.I had stretch marks on my skin and endured labour pains later.What added to my pain was Aishwarya Rai Bachchan.

5) I seriously think Aish has done a great job.I mean it, must be tough working with RAJNIKANTH and that to when he is in double avatar and who is accompanied by hundreds of lookalike 'soldiers'.But she is quite natural in few scenes especially when she is supposed to look dumb!!
Check her expressions in the below video and ignore the hundred odd spinning rajni heads if you can.

6) Her next movie is already in the news, opposite Hrithik. Hrithik plays a cross between a damn good looking P.C Sorcar( preferably in western clothing and not the ones stolen from the AIR INDIA mascot, the MAHARAJA) and Stephen hawking in Sanjay Leela Bansali's next titled Guzarish. Pretty tough job to act like that but he had it easy in this particular song sequence..

I mean any guy would make such faces, expressions and cry after a WTF performance like that :P

7) If Ash ever happens to check this blog(ya right!!) she would be feeling just like you and me.
Even she would be wondering ….. 'WHY ME DUDE!???'

8) Of late having lots of encounters with the mama.Not preetham(he is a buzy man), Mama as in the police.Having been made to pay fines for 'pettycasss' and other such SERIOUS offense I have come to conclude Mysore is THE SAFEST PLACE on PLANET EARTH.FBI better suck up if they have to match the Mysore police!!(More on that when we meet personally can't share it on a public platform...they can be watching over this...shhh)

9)But still I do respect the ‘INDIAN LEGAL SYSTEM’ and if you are one of those who don’t well... there is RAKHI SAWANTH!! She is the JUDGE(sans the robe... she might wear a revealing one you know) in a new Reality(STFU already!!) show called RAKHI KA INSAAF.

WHAT THE FUKING HELL IS WRONG WITH INDIAN TELEVISION????
As if 'Yahan main ghar ghar kheli',' Agle Janam Mohe Bitiya Hi Kijo','Gunaaon ke devta' and other such scary sounding saas bahus weren’t enough !! ( YUP, A LOT OF PAINFUL RESEARCH WENT INTO GETTING THOSE NAMES )

10) Read a book meant for 9 years old.Enjoyed it :D

11) Some of my 'oh so saintly' friends hate smoking and drinking and make baby faces and act like little kids to get the 'cuteness' meter high.All this when they happen to be in a pub/disc.Come on don't you realize you are at the wrong place.I mean what are bedrooms,bathrooms,street corners,school annual days and Dance India Dance for if all you wanted to do was just dance and nothing else.?

12) Apparently in corporate culture an SMS to your Team leader sent as an excuse for an extra long break which went something like this: "Vehcle punctrd, wil b late'
is not right.The TL replied: "AM.NOT.YOUR.FRIEND.TO.WHOM.YOU.SEND.such.SMSes.THIS.IS.NOT.AT.ALL.ACCEPTABLE!!"(am just giving the jist of it all and I still haven't figured out the reason behind so many fullstops.Thought would reply back asking the reason but then let it go :P )

13) Today is Children's day and I wish you all oldies a very happy Children's day.And so today am not gonna be 21 points long, I'll end at the beginning of the teenage.. 13!

Dying

2010-06-10T10:34:00.000-07:00

I Feel shitty in my own shack
So I go sit on the railway track
I see at far the tracks meet
I believe its not a mirage or trick
I see them meet at a distance
until I walk along to realize..

I want to say without saying
I want a smile everlasting
I want to cry myself dry
Sin I did will make me fry
I want to thank a meaningful
to have seen someone so beautiful..

Varied thoughts buzz around the hive
As my mind zips on an insane drive
So in deep blue I let out my last bubble
Smiling shittily I fade,coz its the end of struggle..

times...

2010-06-01T07:48:00.000-07:00

1) A mother whining that her son will lose 'one whole year' because of the new rule which states that the child should be a minimum of 5 years to get admission into 1st standard.Her son happens to be 4 years old. WTF is wrong with people??

2) Salman Khan in a detergent ad where he runs behind a lady then takes a towel/pallu rubs it in between his legs( in his trademark step) then throws it towards the camera saying "iss mein he nimboo ki shakti aur hazaroon phoolon ki kushboo". Sigh!

3) Office on a sunday.ARGHAAAAAAAAA!!

4) Lightning,thunder,wind, baarish... :)

5) Watch the smoke rise under the moonlit,chilly night as your throat warms to hot whiskey.

6) Get bitten by a bloody mosquito when experiencing the above and falling back to reality ;)

7) Some people smile when asleep

8) That too when NOT having a 'dirty dream'.

9) The urinal in the office restroom is so sensitive it flushes at the slightest movement and it sprays.Its hard work to pee and not look as if you peed on yourself like in school.

10) Police and moral police are a pain in the ass.Especially when you are not a criminal or immoral.

11) Its been more than 2 months that I updated this blog.That's because I was very busy with work.

12) Surprisingly I have had some of the best days of my life in these 2 months.And all of it happened out of the office. :D

13) Sleeping because I need to.Not because I can,want to or just felt like it. :(

14) Eating because I need to.Not because I can,want to or just felt like it. :(

15) >>> Censored <<< because I can,want to or just felt like it.Not because I need to. ;)

16) Guess the word which is censored.

17) Yeah you win no special prizes for it.

18) Previous 2 lines were just to fill up the count upto 21.And I know you are like WATVER dude!

19) I have just watched 3 movies and read 2 books in the last 3 months.But again I don't feel like rushing to the theater or to get a DVD,buy a book or Hang out with friends after 12 hours of getting screwed in office.I hardly do much these days.Am like a uncle who goes to office early morning and returns in the evening.And is too tired after that to move his ass from the couch.I sometimes feel am a really very boring guy these days.

20) My friends who agree with the above point.FUCK YOU!!!!! :P

21) Peace! :)

Kya ba, Kya karto?

2010-03-16T10:46:00.000-07:00

Ok for those who did not know, am out of home( finally!!) Yeah they took me out of my room finally after months and then put me in a AC room(which is pretty sadistic and wants to freeze me to death) and show endless PPTs ( well some were really v.v.good.SERIOUSLY).
So again I learnt quite a few stuff ( Am quite a learner eh? )

1) To be Prof-ae-ssional. (Yes that’s how our trainer spells it). :P
2) They tell you it’s just like a family. But they will check your bags, won’t allow you into every other floor. For security reasons they say, well whatever happened to being a family I wonder? Confusing really. Sigh.
3) You should learn all the languages. It really helps in pataoing chiks.( you can be the knight in the shining armour or formal clothing in this case who helps the pretty gal from a distant land) Unlucky guys like me who are lingually challenged or limited to 3 languages lose out in the wild competition. SAD.
4) People still think am silent and that I don’t talk much. And the irony is I am the one who introduced, initiated a conversation, smiled and nodded. What do they expect? Speech??
5) Some people are awesome.
6) Some are jerks.
7) I knew that already. But the AC drove the point deep inside my head. :P
8) There is a torture room without any windows or fresh air. The stale air was suffocating. My batch was allotted that room for training. Am so fucked. Damn it!
9) **Dozed off***
10) I am addicted to caffeine.But even that doesn’t control the sleep sometimes :D
11) HRs are so totally coool…till they lose their cool i.e and then they cut the PPT short and storm-out. :P
12) The HR head says ours is the worst batch in his 20 odd years of career. Its just like in college and school where all the lecturers used to tell the same thing. I feel young again after all the ‘growing ups’:P
13) There is 1 guy whose face forever looks lik this :[ but the moment a senior approaches it turns into :D. I tried to J, :P but all were returned with the same :[ look. I didn’t try ;) though, will do next time. Optimistic :P
14) N/Ws + routers + switches + etc=orgasm.
15) Playing BINGO.
16) Somethings don’t change. I’m still the lord of the last bench.Once me and my friend Guru(not from the movie,but I do sing guru bhai guru bhai aya che aay aaya guru bhai upon his arrival) tried sitting somewhere in the middle of the training room.So we came and took our seats about 10 mins before the sessions.But 5 mins into the sessions we realized we were in the last again. I still haven’t figured how that happened.
17) Was previous point was too long?
18) New beginning,new things, new excitement,new people, new place, new underwear :D
19) Got my Dog tag feel like wagging my tail and barking woof woof and howling into the night.
20) The previous point is to be read as : I got my ID card and am pretty excited seeing and wearing it and wanna yell yoohooo.
21) Now that am thinking of pay and stuff,should I start reading Dilbert soon?

P.S The title means 'wasap dude what doing?' new lingo.

21 Things I have learnt

2010-02-28T00:37:00.000-08:00

1) Patience. I can wait for anything now. Even the gal of my dreams. :P

2) Girls are really mean, its a gang mentality I tell you because when they are alone they are sweet and nice but when together (more than 1 gal) they are like Spartans...MADNESS!! Beware! After reading this they will go..

3) Shopping is a pain in the ass. Only Girls and Abhinav would jump in joy and rush to it when they see a 40% OFF sale board.

4) The uber cool sexy music playing in the background and people going wow at the sight of me was just my imagination!
DAMN IT!

5) Its tough to explain to people that I am not gay but I am more of a lesbian. I love women! :P

6) I am awesome.
(well felt so atleast till yesterday night)

7) There can be chats like this.

Me: Wasap
sabi: nothing much.
Me: k what doin?
Sabi: nothing much lo.
Me: hmm k so wat else?
Sabi: nothing..
Sabi: so what r u doin?
Me: @#$%^&&* nothing much

8) Some people don't get sarcasm.

He: you are so gay dude :P
Me: yeah right! ( NOTE: THIS IS HIGHLY SARCASTIC)
He: oh me too..
Me: ***facepalm**

9) I use the word 'ante' a lot. (ante- roughly means 'itseems' in kannada) and I get irritated each time I use it. But I keep using it.

10) From the above points I learnt that am Awesome, boring and really very weird.

11) Except the awesomeness part other two will screw my chance of having a gal ever!

12) I can watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S over and over again till the day I die and never get bored. It’s AWESOME!

13) Best seasons are monsoon and winter i.e. other than ALL THE SEASONS OF FRIENDS.

14) I don't understand the point of all the 'mantras'/ 'bhajans' that are played in the background along with dramatic music in all those silly scenes in painful tele serials on tv.
Scene:
Evil villain-ness with a serpentine bindi enters the room, the goody good housewife who is forever dressed up like a bride, but is washing the dishes have a faceoff. And we are made to listen to 'om mangalam no need to love..om managalam( wrong mantra I know.. well so are theirs) as the faces of both women flashes alternatively a 1000 times. YAWN!

15) Though the above point may make you think otherwise, I really don't watch serials. Last time I watched 'Rakhi ka swayamwar'. I realized that I was the only one among my friends to do so. Should add that to my resume as one of the CRAZIEST THING I EVER DID!

16) Some times people don't get my jokes. Sometimes when I am serious people think am infact 'cracking' a joke. Sigh.

17) Sometimes when I try to spook my sister by coming behind her in you know my 'stealth-mode-super quite-sneakily-quick' way but the crackling sound of my bones give me away. They sound as if I have a anklet around my leg. Am so noisy I fail. :( I hope its not a medical problem. Some guys are mirror-cracking material. Am well a BONE- CRACKING MATERIAL!! AWESUM **wink**

18) With all the creams that make you fairer and drinks what make u taller or longer and brighter and the detergents which make cloths 'zyada safedi'. We will all end up like a big glowing Zoozoo very soon.(or something bright and long..DON'T USE THAT DIRTY MIND OF YOURS )

19) To believe

20) >> ok I thought I learnt a lot in these 7 months.....what were the other two?? **scratches chin, head then someplace down in between le...ok I forgot! <<

I will be 21 soon...

Me

2010-02-25T11:05:00.000-08:00

Some days back I took a Facebook " Know your Luck and Future" and the 'prediction’ was;

“Ram honey, you'll find romance blossoming . whether it's a renewed sense of commitment to the one you've been with for a while or a new person breezing into your life. The real story is located right in the center of your heart.''

I actually take this daily because
1) Am pretty jobless
2) Anita (who apparently tells these prediction) calls me 'sweety', honey', 'dear'. That feels great. (I know am such a LOSER)

And two ladies leave a comment,one about weather I understood what Anita meant and other feels that am pretty dumb when it comes to gals and I wont get it.

Well…

AM NOT DUMB!!

Now everyone keeps telling me to get a GF.
I mean I could, are they available in that corner store? Yes I am that lazy. Its hard work really. And I am no Hrithik when it comes to anatomy so I don't attract girls like even a puppy could (but I also feel I am..*tilts head, wags tail(??)* bow bow bow..SEE! very cute)
So going around searching is bit of hard work. And being coaxed by friends who are themselves SINGLE is like a joke!!

Apart from the obvious above reason my rather big nose which sometimes blocks my view when am half way through checking out a female structure and which has huge reserves of oil making it shiny like a brand new car doesn't really attract women. (and pimples popping up ruins the effect completely. DARN)

I some times feel all the ladies even half a km away is staring at me (I don't know exactly how many, nose blocks a few).Until I realized it was ONLY literally true because when they come nearer they just fail to notice me. Helooo!? that was rude! You were staring me a few hundred meters back. I SAW YOU DOING IT!! CHEATER!!

Other times I feel like the really smart and funny guy (which I am really) like in movies who cracks a joke and women are swooning and falling all over him(but again, hasn't happened so far. Damn those misleading Movies)

Only time I did got close to someone was with her the other day. We were just chit chatting some random stuff and I was curling my fingers around hers and was cracking awesome jokes and she was giggling away like.. well.. like she does.. I mean it’s pretty unique in a beautiful way. And suddenly out of the blue she just jumps on me and lands a deep passionate kiss. It was awesome!!!!! Yes it happened. Am not lying. Such a realistic dream I tell you. Sigh.

And lastly I am supposed to be this really nice, sweet guy. You might think that’s cool but seriously, trust me you don't want to be that. We are to gals what Dinosaurs are for people. Everyone likes us and goes wow at us but only when we are dead. Don't be fooled by cho chweet,cho cutee...soo nice of u...sweet ..You will get fucked but never get a chance to fuck.

So the only one I love is Deepika.

The following conversation with my friend (the bastard hits on his bhabhi) will prove you how much I lover her.

sabi: hw's alien v/s predators??

ramprakash: 1st one?
its super
2nd okey

sabi: i guess 1st 1 nly

ramprakash: ya its gud

sabi: a v/s p requiem anthe
wts tat??
1st or 2nd??

ramprakash: avp 2 is 2nd
:P
avp is 1st
:D

sabi: nin pinda
wen did avp 2 come??
k de 1 I tol is avp2
i want avp1
:|

ramprakash: and i want both a and p to eat u!!
deepu is minee!!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S: If you thought this was funny then that smile on your face made writing this worthwhile. And by chance if you had always thought of me as a GOOD BOY and now realized that I am after all a jackass.
WAS KIDDING! GOD PROMISE!
:P

If a picture could

2010-02-19T23:26:00.000-08:00

If a picture could speak a thousand words,
I could tell you exactly how beautiful the leafless tree looks on an autumn night.
If a picture could speak a thousand words,
You would have been able to smile inspite of my silence.
If a picture could speak a thousand words,
I wouldn't find it hard to describe your madness to others.
If a picture could speak a thousand words,
You wouldn't have been able to pick out words to misunderstand me.
If a picture could speak a thousand words,
I could have been a thousand times funnier and made you laugh instead.
If a picture could speak a thousand words,
It wouldn't have been hard to prove my trustworthiness everytime.
If a picture could speak a thousand words,
Sms-es would have been shorter than they already are.
If a picture could speak a thousand words,
A thousand words would shed a tear at their unworthiness.
If a picture could speak a thousand words,
You wouldn't have smiled or wondered at every other line in this blog.
If a picture could speak a thousand words,
I hope someday atleast one of my pixel would mean something to you.
If a picture could speak a thousand words,
Even then I doubt you would understand me any better.
If a picture could speak a thousand words,
My prayers and thanks to gods could have been shorter.
If a picture could speak a thousand words,
My poem would have been just a bunch of moving pictures without any background score.
If a picture could speak a thousand words,
I could just show you this

and say...FUCK YOU a thousand times over.
If a picture could speak a thousand words,
It would be a lie.

Blah blah blah ...

2010-02-19T03:34:00.000-08:00

1) Ever since childhood I have had stage fright. In LKG, I was dressed up as Lord Krishna. I was ok with that. I looked ever the charmer (I don’t want those ‘charmer? You?’, just read on). Atleast I did to my Mom, dad and sis. And So I went on stage and instead of pretending to play flute and smile a lot so I could look cuute(r), I started to cry. Yes right in the middle of the stage in front of so many kids, their bored siblings (mummy!! I am bored lets go..), over enthu parents(ohh my daughter is gonna do so much better than Mrs.Kanthama’s) and their relatives who were dragged to see this by being told its the greatest show on earth (after America's got talent). And thus I was politely dragged off the stage. And things didn’t change when years later I was made to read the news in front of the assembly. I hated this. I so wanted to bunk the school that day. But I realised that I wouldn’t be spared, today, tomorrow or the day after I was going to be the sacrificial goat. No escaping death and humiliation. So I braved up and though I was sounding pretty good in my head (which I always do) was totally fucked up when I stood in front of my fellow school-mates. Seniors too bored and juniors too excited. And I stuttered worse then Mr. K..K..K..Khan. And that she would be watching me from her band set troupe at the back didn’t help matters. And sweating crazily I blabbered some news which didn't matter to anyone in anyway and I ran back to the assembly line. I wanted to disappear from planet earth. :(

2) May be my previous wish has come true. Because here in my neighbouring house there lives a family who is always dressed up in blue. The shades vary but whenever I see them they are in blue. I love blue, the sky, the water and the movies ;) But seriously they are over doing it. And I wouldn't be pissed this much but even their dresses are the same. The 2 little gals (not twins) and their mom parade in front of my house in blue salwar every (f*cking) evening. So as I had wished, I think I have landed up in Pandora and am living next to a bunch of Na'vi s (from the movie avatar) who mate through their hair genitals.
On the other side of my house lives a family who is not from Pandora but who I guess feel like what Americans must have felt after 9/11.They are forever locked up in a cage(gate cum mesh to prevent theft).They go out and lock the cage. They come back and lock the cage again. They live in a sense of Paranoia. Well those apart, the daughter who is around my age is quite pretty. So they are ok! :D

3) Sometimes I feel am damn SURE my life is fucked up. I got NO future..
Other times I feel am the BEST thing ever. And that I am AWESUMM! And I CAN do anything. Am damn SURE of it.
Wait!
Confusion!! (happens to me a lot)
Damn it!
I can't choose a state of mind. Or a thought process. I suck at choosing.
When friends give me a choice between going to two places to hangout I usually say "'anywhere' am ready..lets do it, yoohooo!!"
When they ask me what to eat? I say "anything will do"
The real reason for this will be revealed later. But when they pester me to choose I just say either of the two.
"Hey am not hungry.. anything will do."
"Lo am hungry just order something good!"
For other things, like when asked to choose between coffee or tea, between 2 women(has never happened) I usually say both! ;)

4) Though I am pretty ok mentally that is if you ignore me getting confused, physically there are some problems.
I got no taste buds. Whenever we eat out, my friends start commenting about how good or bad the food is. I can't really tell unless it’s absolutely disgusting. So I get these remarks a lot..
>>> Friend tastes the thing and makes a face (like he is about to take a dump) and says disgustingly. 'How the heck are you eating this?' I just shake my head and mumble something.. inaudible <<Others are plain sweet and gobble things up along and don't comment. But I can tell by how much they are eating that they don’t like it one bit. But I as always will be filling my mouth as if it’s a cement mixer. Yeah cement gravel and sand. I can't tell.:|

5) Thats it for now. :)

Coz the cupid was late

2010-02-14T06:39:00.000-08:00

My Dear "the most beautiful girl I have ever seen",

Hey!! Happy Valentines Day! And I hope mine is the only letter you get today!You must be like ‘Who the F*ck are you??’.We will meet soon.But you need to read a story before that.

The story of my Love.
I died on the 7th of Jan 2010.(at this you must be wondering-WTF love story is this? You died at the beginning itself?) And as I had always wished, had turned into a weightless cold ghost. Life after death can be boring at times so me and my friends(fellow ghosts) go around the city checking on interesting people (I mean chiks obviously) at night. Only at night because of the 'I’ve-no-fucking-clue-why' reason. Well we are 3 of us in this part of the town, me, Mr Shy, who always wanted to sing and dance but was well..shy, so he does that all the time now as he is dead(DUH) and so can't be shy. Then there is Mrs blah who can talk for hours non stop and is kinda funny so I don't mind her chatter. And also there is the 4th ghost Mr.Dead_man@Midearth.com but he is usually online(yeah cyber ghosts do exist) all the time and so we hardly get to see him. Me and my friends often wonder what can he be possibly doing there tweet that "am dead but I still get cold *sniff*"???

Well as the clocks chimed 11 (which is an hour before the actual 'our' time) I set off through the concrete jungle. I love invading other's privacy. And this night I saw a lot of action happening. Tomorrow is the 14th of feb. And unlike me(when I was alive) many a bastards are lucky and they send around these long sms-es which travel through me to the nearest tower. Lot of sweet talks and mushy mushy happening before the clock strikes 12,they don't want to spend a single rupee or love with the mobile operators on the 14th. And just to quench your curiosity yeah, I read them all, even the "make love" ones!!(Yeah! Am a pervert ghost)
As I made way through the long sloppy kisses, warm hugs, bytes of 'pleasure-cries', I spot a young 20 something girl at her balcony. She was dressed in a white tee and a knee-length pj with a burning black cigarette between her fingers. It was a cool night there was no noise other than the chirping of the crickets and my own hard breathing (yes we can breath).Leaning on the railings she ties up her shoulder length hairs and closes her eyes as if feeling the cool breeze is gently washing her face like waves on a beach. Her face is devoid of any expression. After waiting for like hours, she finally opened her beautiful dark eyes. I immediately get closer,(it would have been too close if I was alive, but now I can only give her some goosebumps on her smooth fair skin).I stare at her eyes to see what’s she feeling deep inside her pretty face. As if she senses my presence she turns her head away and instead stares into the empty night. Somewhat pissed (yeah we get pissed too and that’s when we usually scare people otherwise we are cool..I mean cold) I hover (yeah, yeah like a helicopter.NICE ;)) in front of her but then again she looks away, this time, up , at the beautiful starry sky. And she blows out a cloud of smoke and watches them rise... I can see the smoke reflect in her 'awww' dark eyes. But each time something or the other blocks (or blurrs) me from making a eye contact with her. The culprit this time was the tears. Little pearls of pain make their way through her kajal-ed eye and it slithers down slowly through her cheeks.I wanted to stop the tears.I wanted to sing her the song by Fergie "big girls don't cry"(umm naa..that would have made her cry more).I wanted to scare her so bloody bad that her tears would be sucked back in. But I couldn't, wouldn't...would you? So just as a tear was about to fall off her chin I put my hand beneath it. And before I knew I burned just like the cigarette now between her sexy red lips. And I burned deeper and bright. And like those ashes I fell down to screaming hell or was it into love. yeah! I wanted to yell and dance in joy...but then I realised..Damn it! I was dead...

That girl was you.

Am truly madly in love with you. And all I want is a chance to be with you. I want to watch the sunset together as our shadows kissed behind us. I want to feel the pain you felt and the happiness behind your smile. God promise, I LOVE YOU..and will forever and mind you this God promise I mean it (I met God a week back and he was pretty pissed because of all the false god promises I had made. In my defence, I always felt that God can't possibly die if we broke the promise, right?).
BTW I asked Mr. Yum Raj and he told you’ll be dead in like 4 hours coz of your bad chain smoking habit it made your lungs stab holes to itself. So anyways I’ll be waiting at the entrance of Indravan gardens. Don't worry you won't get lost, everyone knows Indravan Gardens..its got a big dam and a musical fountain too. Very romantic.Can't wait to meet you. Hope we can get to know each other better. And hopefully love.

Yours forever and after,
Boo!!!

P.S: I look just as cute as Casper.But sexier ;)

Growing up- Season 2

2010-02-10T08:33:00.001-08:00

Growing up I had had lot of questions(mostly directed at my dad).And he would answer each one of them patiently.As the years passed the questions changed yet the each one was answered by him.But some of the questions haven't changed like "How much longer,are we there yet?"and still I get a calm patient reply.Well for some of the other questions there was ofcourse the google,wiki and other such "good sites":P

Growing up I had my share of crushes and crushes.
Some crushes were sweet, like the gal in the 3rd grade who on her last day at school smelled like a sweet candy she was giving away as a parting gift.sweet candy to drown the sorrows.My advanced smell sensors(this has nothing to do with my somewhat bigger nose,mind you) can still pick it up if I happen to 'smell' her again somewhere .But some of the other crushes were not at all as sweet or memorable as they were mostly spent under the class bully's smelly armpit.Being tiny din't help matters against the giant-assed-over-grown-mean-shit-headded-retards(why am I so whiny?).Sadly these crushes I can still smell some around me.

Growing up I was shy.I hardly ever had the courage(yeah courage) even to start a conversation with the member of the opposite sex.I used to get tongue tied,hanged,stabbed or whatever and had my sweat glands in over drives on my forehead,behind my ears and palm and other regions of my gorgeous anotomy.All the thoughts and wonderful filmy lines remained in my head and drowned themselves to sorrow death in the flood of sweats.And as expected I din't have a gf.Years later Internet came into my life and it helped me put words to my thoughts and those words sounded in your heads and well even though am no better now.But life is better.

Growing up I discovered books,movies,music.Yeah whats so special in that, you might wonder because its no big deal unless you are the the caveman dressed in a 2 piece sexy deerskin.But I just adore these stuffs a litlle more than you.Makes reality sweeter,sexier, bearable and awesome-er.

Growing up I made some amazing friends.
Abhinav who has a disorder to forget things(best guy to tell secrets coz won't remember a damn thing after 18 hours or less) ,aparna who is magically mad.(don't even get me started on the reasons for her madness and ofcourse the magic),arun the highly sensitive guy(hides it under blankets of oh-I-don't-cares),jayanth who helped me get a degree(will be a great teacher someday but says doesn't want to be :P ),vivek the partner in crime in the 2 years of college(though we discovered each other a bit late).Hopefuly these people wil be around me forever.
Not to forget
Amarnath-for being a centimeter or two shorter and thus sparing me from being the 1st in line at the assembly.
Prajwal- for having crush on the same gal and giving company in the quest
Sahana- for being the santa claus sans any gifts :P
and many more..
They make the chat window have a LOL and LMAO,gol gappas spicier,nights crazier,class funnier and in general life awesome-er!(atleast leave sweet comments in return for the praises :P )

Growing up I became the Devdas.I fell in love,struggled to keep it and then had my heart broken.Naa not really!! Was kidding but well, I did see others going through all that.One went on his knees in front of the love of his life under the trees as dead leaves of the autumn season rained around them,one popped pills and ALMOST(?) died to scare the shit out of his love to stay(and it worked) while the other drained bottles of beer on top of a bridge as he let go off his love.

Growing up I got a job on my first job interview.Again for which credit goes to my friends in a way.After college I was expecting to be buzy with work.But haven't yet, after 6 months.My situation is like a pregnant lady having a healthy baby in her womb but which is refusing to come out.Each time the frustration grows it either pushes out a hand and say "hey ya..I'l be right out soon mama" or puts the tiny foot out and say "am coming out...1...2...3.." or in rare cases peak its head out and screams like a teenager "am coming..just a minute" (teenager inside the womb!am goin nuts)but alas hasn't come out yet.(was it too gross?) yeah I am having labour pains without doing any labour.I still wait with great patience.Which is one of the things I have learned in this long break.Now I'm so bloody patient that if a doctor spots me he wil take and label me a permanent patient in some hospital.(like Anand bhai in munnabhai MBBS, but I won't get a bed)

Growing up I realised things change.Things are indeed changing for better or for worse(at their own pace).Why sudden realisation you may ask.No I din't hit puberty late(am 20 afteral!) and No No... am still shy in front of gals and so am still stuck being single(damn it!!).Its just that things change, how much ever you want it not to.The harder you hold on to something the faster it slips right through your clenched fist.Its like squeezing a ripe mango. Ok now don't imagine something else with that dirty mind of yours, what am talking about is kinda serious and sad. :P

Growing up I met you and this ones for you...

P.S: did it get too much of a senti-fest?

Growing up

2010-02-04T11:32:00.000-08:00

I am not a big fan of growing up.All those people with 'this-is-life-live-it-loser' attitude in life don't read further. I hate growing up.anything < 20 is the best. Well Growing up, I always wondered what Life was all about,was confused about god and I wanted to learn how to whistle well the biggest mystery was understanding gals.

Talking of life.
I am 20 (yeah suckers am younger than thou :P ) but I still haven't figured out what this shit is all about.Whats with this endless- mindless cycle of Birth, Living, dying(hair dye) and the real dying(GOTAK).It has to happen for a reason right??

Likely Reason 1- God!
If god is the reason then he belives in that 'karma' thingy like those bloody firangs these days. So God makes me pay in this birth for all the bad things I did in the pichla janam( raaz pichle janam ka might help now). Ok lets assume this is true, so we all like come, do shit, die, get reborn, pay for shitting in the last janam for free(like you do in public loo's) and later die again.Then we all go to heaven and live happily ever after(Thats unless you shitted more than you can pay for and ended up in hell and get boiled to death again). My problem is even if you ended up in heaven then what? You just watch those apsaras shake their booty all day long? (trust me even that would get boring after a certain time)

Likely Reason 2- No God!
Now lets assume God doesn't exist like most of these 'smart a-ss-theist belive.(So you can't say "Bhagvan aaj tak maine aapse kuch nahin maanga..pass me in this exam plzz)
Wouldn't that make the whole bloody universe a pointless excersise? ok a 1 in a trillion chance of some atom coliding with other excited thingy(WTF were they excited for anyways?) and thus created life( or whatver the theory is).A single living cell happened.And it divided and kept doin it and then a lil more and thus evolution ended up creating me and you.So now again like after all this these chance pe dance evolution happened.I will even assume that aliens exist and they don't look as hot as Megan Fox.NOW WHAT? Evolution keeps happening on and on, deaths, births happen blah blah WHATS THE BLOODY POINT OF IT ALL? I mean, in this senario though scientific and hip, people have no conciense of a supreme power checking on them so they get to keep shitting where and when they like and not pay EVER.The whole thing wil end up being a giant shit ball won't it?

So after reading this you would either be like "whoa this guy needs help" (90% of you) or whistling and envy my marvelous brain for having thought about it.(I know that could only be YOU! yup YOU)

Talking of whistling.
Growing up I always had this urge to whistle(yeah at ladies) but I still don't know how to whistle.I refered youtube for help and a guy who claims to be a great whistler tells me its just a 4 step thing.I do it and gag.I mean you put something in your mouth and blow.( it even sounds dirty and kinky)So like most things in life I get a great urge to give up.Will I? Will I never be able to blow whisle at a pretty gal walkin past and get slapped?( I dont want to)

Talking of pretty gals.
I love pretty gals. I love gals. I really do.But like most unlucky males am single and was happy.
But this converstaion with a gal who hardly knows me kind of pressed the alarm button and made me panic.

She: So what are your interests?
Me: books,movies,music,a lil photography,gals ;) (yeah was trying to be extra smart and cool)
She: gals?
Me: Yah you see every guy is interested in gals.:P
she: not really!
ME: what do you mean?yeah may be, if that guy is a gay!
She: well you you don't seem to be interested and you obviously don't have a gf..
Me:whaa..t?

BINGO AD: isse kehte hein ghaav....

Rather unsettled with that above conversation( And she ain't the first one..I have had these remarks from people for quite sometime now).I shared this conversation with my guide cum mentor and what-not friend 'mata-chums' and asked her opinion.

Mata-chums: yeah that means you are gay!
Me: :|

BINGO Ad (continues): Aur isse kehte hein ghaav pe namak!!

P.S I loved this song.Cute video and the hidden message it gives.
FIREFLIES- OWL CITY

right to reproduction

2010-01-31T09:04:00.000-08:00

did you obtain the rights yet? ;)

Colours

2010-01-02T03:07:00.000-08:00

I wake up from a deep slumber like in a doped trance,
mind too numb after dreaming of a ugly pheasant’s dance.
The kaleidoscope lying beside the book of Brown,
catches my attention and I look through with a frown.
I see the colours that were sucked off my life al along,
dancing in merry inside the thing so small and long.
Compared to the smiling violet, cute indigo, pretty blue with rest of the GYOR,
the monotonous black and white of my life seemed such a distant boring blur.
The lust to have it all awakens in me and I,
fall in love with the kaleidoscope, to please my eye.
Trying to take some of the colours, I pulled and tugged without kind,
deeper and deeper into the darkest corner of my mind.
Until I realised I had sucked in all the colour and glamour,
but still deep down I felt bad, just like a newly ditched lover.
Only then I realised, it was the light that made the kaleidoscope colourful,
So I agreed with them, coz as they say only Love makes life beautiful.

My dairy entry for today!

2009-12-30T01:25:00.000-08:00

My cousin recently started writing a dairy.And the curious guy that I am, I leafed through it, yup totally ignoring the warning that said " U are so shameless.Stop reading other's dairy" and I invaded his privacy. Well he is studying in 8th std and in the same school that I had, the gr8 MPV. So I was expecting to get some juicy bits because as far as I remember, 7th-8th std were the most controversial years in school. My classmates would agree.We, the whole class learnt the taboo words S*ck and F*ck and used it generously.Thats not all, we learnt and did a lot of other things. So I was quite curious to find something like that in his dairy.
But sadly, I was dissapointed.What lay there was just a log of events with time and place.
"I woke up at 7.30 and left to school at 8.30"
" We played throwball in the games period. By the time of the bell, the score for both teams was leveled at 2-2."
and so on..
There goes my chance to tease him for sometime.Yeah am a lousy evil child teaser.Huh! whatver.
Anyways I myself never wrote a dairy.You may ask what about this blog? Well this is not exactly an e-dairy.This is more of a platform where I pretend to be smartass and come up with somewhat funnier pjs and tease my friends like in the previous posts. So well let me give you sneak-peek into what my dairy would look like.( writing like my cousin)

10:00 AM-
Sunrise! (never seen it for the past many months or is it years?)

My day starts at 10 AM when all the early morning walkers and joggers in the park in front of my house are replaced my college going gals who come all the way to college and bunk their class and sit under the shade of a tree with their jobless boyfriends. No am not jealous !
You would expect a line about how my mother/sister would be trying to get me off my bed.But no.They have stopped trying! ;)

10:20 AM-
Getting off the bed:(is the most painfull)

I get off the bed after reading through all the goodmorning and non-veg forwards to begin the day on my cellphone.Just as I step off the bed, staring back at me is a very horrible sight in the mirror.WTF is that? oh!
And scratching and stretching I walk down to make my mouth and breath 'tazaa'. Not that I blow on the face of every other girl I meet.But stil I do brush!
As my mother starts her usual "Is this the time?? all are done with their breakfast". My aunt who is here answers "no no why you scolding him? he is up early. yesterday he was even more late" I don't understand was she supporting or making fun of me? BAh! I don't care as I land my ass on the sofa and grab the newspaper and glance through it.The only part I read seriously is the cartoon section in the end.Well during exam I used to read the 'Horoscope section' too. But they were never helpful.

10:45 AM-
Start flipping through MtV,zoom- isko dekho while my mothers voice drowned the songs with her " First you get up late.Instead of taking bath doing puja or eating breakfast you have to go watch half naked gals dance around trees..raama raama..".

11:00 AM-
The pleasant honeymoon with TV and the semi-naked gals ends as Mom again launches into war of words this time a good measure of aunt and my grandparents thrown in for support.The lone warrior that I am is unperturbed by this volley of chaste remarks on my "lifestyle" as I refuse to bulge from the sofa untill I realise something and I run behind mom and start begging..for coffee. After the brew is in. my day begins!

after 12:00 PM-
Baaki ka time( yeah I still manage to have some more time)

Switch on the comp!
Staring out of the window.
Checking out the gal in the neighbouring house through the window.
Ok I don't do that.REALLY!
Net
Reading a novel
Staring out of the window.
Checking out the of the girl in the neigbouring house through the window.
Wait! thats her father!!
Oops!!
more Net, explaining to arun what I did alday
Messaging my friends!
'Yo wasup!!'
'Hey ther'
'Heloo'
Yeah rarely I do get a reply!
and more Net.

1.30 AM -

And then its time to sleep again!

this was kinda spooky :D

2009-12-30T00:41:00.000-08:00

Vishnuvardhan is a kannada actor who died today morning
I promise I hadn't saved such a name in my contacts!!

Scarred to death

2009-12-29T10:02:00.000-08:00

Taking a long puff off his beedi he blows the unholy smoke into the winter night.As the smoke clears, he sees a dark silhouette approaching him.Clad in a black saree,the pallu covering her head.Her beautiful face hidden in the darkness and the shadow of the looming trees lining the street.
Stomping the beedi under his shoes he walks towards her with a eerie confidence which detered her. He had approached the same way then and she had loved it.Her heart starts beating wildly as he closes in.Just like it had then. He stares at her as the wind blows her saree revealing her milky white waist.She could see the hunger in his eyes as he looked at her body.The calmness outside was contrats to the screams of her past.The screaming thoughts in her head were starting to build up with each second under his lecherous gaze. Then in one swift motion she pulls out the gun,points it at his heart. She could hear his heart pound or was it hers? Then she pulls the trigger and watches, as the bullet rips through his heart.She thought she knew the love he felt.She was wrong. Now she knew the pain he would feel.She was right this time .The sound of the shot merged with the scream and it echoed into the night.Just like it had when he had splashed the burning acid on her beautiful face.As she had cried in pain, he had sneered.Now falling down, he cought the last glimpse of her scarred face as the pallu finally gave way to the rushing cold wind. She sneered and walked off.Then she had wanted to share all the happiness with him and now she had shared her pain!

P.s: fiction listening to 'give unto me' by evanesence.

New Year conversations:

2009-12-29T05:14:00.000-08:00

me: so its 2010.atleast get a gf this year maga. Or planning to just get married? ;)
Abhinav: Pinda! 6 more months maga and juniors will come, can patao some one. ;)
Abhinav: oh! wait thats not gonna happen! damn!! **another plan flops***

me: Yo happy new year mr i-love-nitk
Abhishek: laughing and crying at the same time.Nostalgic about the last 'new year celebration' in NITK.'**hick** bottoms up entire bottle and then grabs another. 'buzy with fest dude'.

me: hey wats new 4 new year?
Aparna: I lovee Avril! she has such a fair skin...spotless.god! awesome! i just lovvee her.
Me : uh ok!yeah superb voice...so what plans for new year?
Aparna: Its complicated!
Me: oh y? wat hapnd?
Aparna: thats my fav. Avril song u dummo!
me: :|

me: tweets- happy new year evry1!!!
Arun: tweets- hurrayy!!! RT @ijackinjosh 2010 spl: new ifone hack makes music on ur ifone audible!

me:so wats ur new year resolution?
Pallavi: hahahahaahahahaahahaaa hahahahahahahaa new year resolution? hahahahaa hahahahahahaha :D
me: that wasn't a joke!
Pallavi: oh!

me: Hey pondi trip in 2nd week of jan..wat say?
Preetham: nothing.Am not coming anywher.
Me: ok! u may want to 'GO' somewher na ;) u knw ';);););)'
Pretham: Appolo done, BMH done, Colambia asia...umm...nice...

me: happy new year dude.
me: wat plans/resoutions?
me: heloo
me: kahan mar gaya saale??
me: knock knock!
me: BUZZ!
Shubhendu: Kem cho baby? mera garma garam dhokla bahut swaadish che want some? ;)
me: what?
Shubendu: sory nt for u!

me: yo jackass! happy new year!
Vivek: wat new year? phati padi he BC!
me: why what happnd?
Vivek: I talked to her for 3 hours yest nite! I think I love her!
me: yeah I know that you told me about madhu 2 weeks back, whats new?
Vivek: saale am talkin abt sonia not madhu!
me: F*ck U!!!

P.S: not really.. ;)

20 Things you may not know!

2009-12-27T11:09:00.000-08:00

1) I use shortforms for a word if I don't know the correct spling.

2) I once recorded my 'singing' with some background music. It sounded just like Tom when his tail gets trapped in a mouse trap he set for Jerry..but with the same background music.

3) I get realy weird dreams at night!I mean it.WEIRD! Last night I cured some dangerous disease( I can't recall what) by doing something( I can't recall that either) by opening the pressure cooker in 1 particular angle( again I can't recall the measure of that angle)!! I felt AWESOME untill the buzzing mosquito spoiled it!SORRY I COULDN'T SAVE HUMANITY with the help of a pressure cooker.I will try again tonight.

4) In any conversation, I do tend to take the 'OTHER' meaning and have "eeeheehehehehehe" in my head!

5) I am a SRK fan.Most of my friends HATE him! And I love to piss them off! :P (sadistic pleasure)

6) I don't watch any horror movies.And thats's because they are not scary!

7) I had to wack my brain hard to come up with the 7th point and I thought 7 is fav/lucky no.

8) I don't know why I do these 20 things. And why the hell 20?

9) I love to do that sudden "BBOOoowwwaaaahahhhhaaa" to scare people when its dark.

10) Please don't try the above trick on me!

11) I love driving at 5-10 kms/hr.Till I realised it wasn't really funny or cool! :|

12) Even at 5-10 kms/hr... there will be a cool background music playing in my head just like in the movies..yeah I took the slo-mo too seriously!

13) I fuckin use the fuckin f word when am fuckin frustrated.Other times I censor it like this-- F*ck!

14) I love curly hairs.NO not the pubic hair!

15) I think Twilight is lame! Vampires should look scary and suck blood not climb trees with a stupid gal on your back like a female monkey and its baby!!

16) Farmville --- seriously WTF?

17) She has a awesome smile,beautiful eyes, great curves and curls.YES! Finally I admit, I LOVE HER!

18) Do not click on the above link and DROOOL!! SHE IS MINE!! ;)

19) Lately, I dont care about somethings which used to bother me a lot before!

20) But please do leave a comment ;)

palm reading

2009-12-22T01:27:00.000-08:00

'I'(to the Palm reader): "What could I be in life?"

Palm reader *reading my palm, switching from left to right hand* says: "The left is what the gods give you, the right is what you do with it."

'I'(wonder in my head): well then no need of reading..I know am screwed...coz I use my god given left hand to clean my a** and right to j**k off!

Random thought while reading the book "keep off the grass" by Karan Bajaj

This is kinda realy very very SAD!! seriously screw VTU!! :| :( :P

2009-12-20T09:05:00.000-08:00

P.S: This was at around 10.30 - 10.45 pm and thats like the PRIMETIME!!

Sin

2009-12-17T02:04:00.000-08:00

She was new and he had had many before her.Unlike me.He removed the surprisingly bigger dress she was in with ease.My heart pumped harder as his fingers played on her smooth and such a fair skin.I look at him holding her close to his lips and my lusty eyes can see the glow in her face from the distance as he kisses her.I ogle on as she heats up the chilly night. He notices my longing eyes prying on her slender body and with a smug offers me to her. The guy is a pig I think but I thank him for giving me a chance to have her.With a sinfull desire I pull her close to me.She doesn't raise an objection, the bitch was burning with desire.And I take her.And after what felt heavenly, I pull apart with a sense of fullfilment and let out a sigh.The otherwise clear night gets clouded around us as we indulge in what would disgust many.Suddenly he grabbed her back ..away from me..as I stared my mouth open, half in shock and half in lust for more. He said something that hurt me.."Ela neene mugstya? let me have a Puff too dude..this is the last one".

Note: THIS IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION and random IMAGINATION.Any resemblance to person,ciggy living or butted out is purely coincidental.

WARNING! :SMOKING KILLS!! umm but...Well...nevermind! ;)

20 things Arun tweets or rather RT.

2009-12-05T09:25:00.000-08:00

1) Iam f*ing #notstudying #belive me!!
2) Sabi is a NC (Nerdy Ch**t). He slogs till 2 AM.
3) I love @ihackinjosh and @mashable chk this http://bit.ly/Imagaygeek
4) Most popular tweeter in India y'day @chetan_bhagat .Most popular retweeter in India y’day @Arunmohancr beat this #suckers ;) ;)
5) I love RT. REALLY
6) RT @Arunmohancr I love RT. REALLY >> I mean it.
7) Sabi @abhi2603 studies more than me.
8) RT @abhi2603 don’t lie moru... v know u study much more than I do >>> F*ck u NC!!
9) @pixr what you laughing about? Shut up! So what did u do alday ;)
10) Haven’t studied a thing for morrow. Will get screwed ;)
11) @abhi2603 watver.I hardly touched the book for 2 hours.
12) RT @ihackinjosh I am gay
13) WELL I AM NOT!! I RTed that by mistake. RT @Arunmohancr RT @ihackinjosh I am gay.
14) Checking out the new RT feature. So I can RT more. Can I do any more RT ;)
15) I love steve jobs and also other jobs. you knw.
16) I am famous for my Obituary tweets: famous ones are: MJ dies, Piratebay is no more.XYZ..blah blah dies... RIP.
17) Friends follow me here http://bit.ly/8MCrsA.
18) RT @Arunmohancr Friends follow me here http://bit.ly/8MCrsA.. >>>spammers too can follow.
19) RT @Arunmohancr Iam f*ing #notstudying #belive me!! I am playing top gear.
20) YAWN...m off for a much needed long and deep sleep..
10:26 PM Dec 9th from Twitterrific

**Then slog all night**

Stuffs to do when at home on a very long holiday.

2009-11-12T10:49:00.000-08:00

1) Wake up at noon , make plans for the rest of the day, go back to sleep. Hibernate like grisly bears but look cute as a teddy bear ;)

2) Watch a group of elderly ladies do exercise in the park. It’s a cheaper version of those “health shows” on TV. The aah’s,ooo’s and the movement of other body parts are kinda fun in a sick way.

3) Pair your friends with some gal. Talk about it all the time. Don’t give up inspite of his repeated denials. Keep at it so much so that your friend actually starts to think “ya I guess you are right.. I love her”. Then watch the fun unfold! :D

4) Go to a park take your camera along and click photos of the beautiful nature. Hmm.. if only you could FOCUS on one thing ;)

5) Have a booz party at the house of a relative of your friend. Get high on booz but still make it very clear to everyone that you are not high and then dance to “prem ki nayya”, do the mirror and rope steps and boast “am so good at this”. CAUTION:THIS IS FUN BUT IS VERY PAINFUL on the eyes of those watchin you.MIND IT.

6) Make an elaborate plan for a vacation to far off place and then discuss how it’s not possible.

7) Call/Message your friends and lure them into bunking their college so that you can all hang out.And when you do,never discuss attendance it wil hurt your friend.

8) After reading this post, the above trick might not work.

9) Build your body, yeah even the tummy will do!

10) Try out ways to end your long holiday. It’s so long ’m running out of ideas now.

11) Read books, watch movies,listen to music.Rent, borrow or download.

12) >>> A LUCKY* WINNER* GETS TO WRITE* THIS POINT* <<< *Conditions Apply.

13) Stare into the dark sky at night and wonder why do girls never mind when their girl friends are all "muuaahh love u baby hugs.. ♥ uuuu" but the moment you try those on them,they go "dude stop it!"

14)Sit with your little cousin and watch 2 dragon flies hover around and then roll your eyes ,pretend to be surprised and say ‘double-decker helicofter’ when the two decide to mate mid-air!

15)Don’t sit with your little cousin and watch your neighbours. That would be really sick and may spoil the kid because there can’t be a double-decker aunty/uncle!

16) Shave your head, dance stupidly with your friend’s GF then ride piggy back on your friend and call him ‘Paa’ .

17) Take loads of facebook quizzes; say "OMG its sooo truee :D " when the result is what you like it to be, frown and call the quiz stupid and ridiculous if you don’t like the result OR open fortune cookies which are sometimes really unfortunate. TIMEPASS!!

18) Reply to questions like “what did you do all day” from your friends with “FU* K U!! SCRE# U A$$HOLE!! DON’T EVER ASK ME THAT QUESTION AGAIN! DO U GET IT U FUC*in PRICK? so wat did u do all day? :)"

19) THiNK a lot, smile ear to ear , dance like no one is watching, love deeply, cry silently ,laugh out loud, eat loads of pills. Oops I did it again! ;)

20-twenty , ODI or tests SACHIN is GOD! :)

In fond memory of 'matre' Mama

2009-09-24T05:45:00.000-07:00

In the context of Mama's love for PILLS/Tablets/Matre and his refusal to come and hangout anywhere with his friends fom the past few days/months.

1)Favorite Quote:
Some pills fail, but don't lose heart just wait for the right one
because God has arranged for a perfect PILL for you somewhere.

2)Favourite movie Dialog:
"Arre ooo Saambha... kitne Pills the?? "

3)General Telephonic conversation:

a)Hello.. *GRUNT* *GRUNT* *GRRR*
b)Helo... Iam not coming!!!!
c)uumm... no wont come.
d).... I can't come...
e) I will eat t*b**ts if you don't come!!! Iam serious!!

4)The above short conversations proves 1 thing:
His Phone pill will be pretty low. :P

5)Favourite food:
Gobi 65,pill 55,Butter Naan,Butter kulcha,pills,Butter pills?

6)Favourite passtime:
SHopping for pills in drug stores with "50% OFF sale on DOLO and PARACETAMOL" boards

7)Favourite movies:
Pill wale dulhaniya le jayenge ;)
Kabhi Dolo Kabhi paracetamol
Pill Se
Pill De Basanti
Tablets Zameen par
Pills ( yet to be released madhur bandharkar movie)

8)Favourite Song:
Dolo (650) re dolo(650) re from DEVDAS !! (Only some people will get this joke)

9)In my room you will find:
Me, My computer, books and my table(ts)

10)When young,used to throw tantrums at friends:
"we will only play popping the pills.. otherwise I WONT COME"!!

11)Movie watched on a recent date:
Pill bole hodiyappa

12)Dreamgal: Come, lets run away and get married my love <3 :)
He: I am NOT COMING ANYWHERRR!!!!!!!!

13)Favourite Jeffrey archer book:
Not a pill more, not a pill less

14)Favourite romantic Novel of all time:
A Pill to remember

15)Currently reading:
Some random book on Pill-o-sphy

16)Favorite Patriotic Qoute:
'TUM MUJHE PILL DO..MEIN TUMHE AZADI DOONGA'

17)LKG-UKG days:
A for Apple, B for Balls,....T for tablets..Z for zzzzz...

18)My idea of a perfect date:
Me and my dream gal on a candle light dinner at a pool side table(T)

19)A NONVEG JOKE:
One thing heard frequently by pakkadmane (neighbours) at night after his marriage:
"I am not cuming .. I am not cuming.... I think.. I need a PILL ;)"

20)When saying goodbye to loved ones:
Hum he raahi pyaar ke, Pill milenge chalte chalte..*Geeeee :D*

?????

2009-09-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

When I was growing up I had lots of questions. ARE WE THERE YET? WHY DOES MOON HAVE DARK SPOTS? WHY DO STARS SHINE? ARE WE THERE YET? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY @#$#$%? WHY DOES MY HEART BEAT FASTER WHEN I SEE HER? These questions continue to this day but the questions themselves are not clear and are more of a confusion . Only the question marks “???” at the end are more profound.

To be happy or sad???
Now that I'm full time home waiting for my 'work' part of life to start, these realizations haunt me. My buddy tells me to enjoy the holidays while it lasts. But the uncertainty of the ending of this supposed ‘bliss time' makes it hard to enjoy or sulk for that matter. Uncertainty rules my life. I am always uncertain and this leaves a lot of questions in my head. Should I be happily 'enjoying' the holidays or feel sad because it will end 'someday' which I am waiting for in the 1st place!

To be jealous or not to be?????
I can't bunk college! I can't go watch a movie 1st day 1st show! Should I be jealous of my other friends or not. I can’t Bunk classes and talk crap under a tree or play games which we used to play in school ( sabi is doing it a lot these days).Can’t make a long unplanned trip! My lecturers still advice me " allu heege irbeda"( don't be like the way you were in college at your workplace) , "become serious at least there ram!!". Thing is , I don't want to change, always believed that behaving and discipline is for the old and the ARMY! Age catches up I guess! But then again, I can be Independent!!

To be nice or not to be????
"sure no problem"( really??? ) Do I have to agree to everything my peers wish? Why don't I ever say no???? Is it the need to be "accepted as a good guy" or what? Why can't I be not nice and say NO to the "requests" people make when at the back of my mind I least care????
Or is that I am too much of a 'help all buddha' ( baad mein apne gaand mein danda! that rhymes ;) ) Quite a few of my deeds have ended up in me suffering soon after, which is always because of the supposed help I gave to that selfish someone. Or is it too much to expect back anything! Will I be bad if I am not nice? Will I be any good if I am nice????

Even after 100s of Facebook quizzes telling me everything from what I was in my past birth" to the "true personality test" I am no way close to figuring out myself! Getting stuck trying to choose from a simple T-shirt to the deeper questions in life, I am pretty much confused in almost everything! Do I shoo away the cute little pup peeing on my gate or not? Should I let go the poor little kid trying to steal my old cycle which I don’t use anymore or not???? If there’s a great chance that the risk will ruin my life, should I take it? It may make my life. Should I really think so much or not???? What the hell am I thinking about exactly???? Should I crack a PJ at this stage to make the whole post seem funny or not?? Will you really laugh at it or not??? BTW do I even make good PJs or not????????? HELP!

And so the questions and confusion continues…
ARE WE THERE YET??
Not yet...

King v/s King

2009-09-09T00:25:00.000-07:00

Can you piss off the King of Goodtimes? well King K(h)an!
Take a look at the (fake/real disputed) Vijay Mallya's tweets from during the IPL season 2.
Makes a Fun read though! :)

Hey someone told me about some blogger-player from the knightriders bitching.. I think its srk himself.. publicity masterstroke, man!
12:35 PM May 1st from web

i have a theory baout kolkata knight riders
2:47 PM May 4th from web

if you bet on a good side and it loses a couple of times, you keep the bet on thnking that it'll eventually pay off..
2:47 PM May 4th from web

that's the case with kkr.. you keep thinking it'll manage to recover but it never does.. and even thoug
2:48 PM May 4th from web

even though they're horrible in every single match the match ALWAYS manages to go down to the last ball.. or at least the very last over..
2:48 PM May 4th from web

how can they all be cliffhangers? every match? I think it's marketing genius.. captain drama, dada drama, srk's hand, fake blogger..
2:50 PM May 4th from web

and now a team which just CANT win.. but still manages to bring the match to the last ball.
2:50 PM May 4th from web

so even though they're bottom of the league.. kkr is still the ONLY team people are talking about.. they even took Joker tag away from us..
2:52 PM May 4th from web

what do you all think?
2:53 PM May 4th from web

it's just a theory I've been thinking about for a while now.. wanted to share with you guys.. anyway glad kkr makes rest of us look good.
2:54 PM May 4th from web

@AaruC haha.. good good.. lots of people laughing about sRK.. but I think he's laughing to the bank.. his team makes money, ours don't..
2:57 PM May 4th from web in reply to AaruC

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Sent shahrukh a lifetime's supply of kingfisher.. HAHAHAHAHAHA last night was fantastic HAHAHAHA
12:31 PM May 13th from web

Dammit.. Khan just sent me a message on my phone saying 'njoy. Bangalore are the new Kolkata.' $%^&*()!!
10:39 PM May 21st from web

lol!

Sunshine

2009-08-29T02:16:00.000-07:00

Sunshine! It always bought up a smile on his face when he saw one. And with the smile came memories. Memories of a little Sunshine. She was 8, a year younger than he was. Even then, like now, he couldn’t define love, but he did feel one. They couldn't be separated from each other since they were 3; much to the envy of the other kids they did everything together. They were made for each other. He & little sunshine. The rest of the whole world was plain boring and they wouldn’t be bothered or cared about except for may be sunshine's parents. He didn’t care much about his.
They were the best of friends, inseparable, attached like no other could. Not like they didn’t disagree, they did disagree and fought on a lot of things, ranging from the color of her frock (which was pink and he thought it was YUCK!!), to the shape of the clouds .He thought the cloud looked like big fire breathing wing spread dragon (she thought it was a shapeless mass of cloud). But this disagreement didn't stop him from taking her to the cliff side on a sunny and yet a rainy day. She hadn't believed him the last time when he told her how spectacular the rainbow looks from the top, so he just wanted to show her this time. And they ran, fell and again ran in the muddy path leading to the cliff. Panting and wet both of them were awestruck at the sheer beauty arching its way through the clouds to a point far away on both sides. The look on her face was worth it. She leapt in joy clapping as if it they were in a rock concert. She ran to the edge of the cliff. Her wet frock fluttered slightly in the wind. Her wet hair ran widely like snakes on her shoulder. she opened up her arms as if trying to reach out and hug the beautiful view in front of her. "Its sooo beautiful.. I love u " she yelped and turned around. That was the last instant he caught her beautiful eyes.. Happy and lovely like it always was. And then her body jerked backward and down the cliff. Horrified he ran, not towards the cliff but away, he ran, his tears mixed with the waters from the heaven. Reached up to their favorite place, the tree house outside his house and climbed in and locked himself. He could feel her here. Her favorite painting of a big yellow frog with a big dirty mustache (even though it didn’t really look like a frog but which she claimed 1 day would be kept next to the Mona Lisa) was taped on the wooden wall. Her hair clip was lying in a corner next to a box of old stale cookies.
To this day it was the same. Years had passed.
Looking out of his bedroom window at their tree house, which had still looked fresh almost 70 years after, he felt a weird sensation rip through his body as the sharp rays of the morning sunshine hit his pale white skin. This sunshine was different it was coupled by a dark shapeless mass of clouds and a drizzle. And taking out his old reliable walking stick he walked, ran.. started to pant.. and so walked again.. and then ran.. to the edge of the cliff. He was alone this time but he was wet just the same. Throwing away the stick he yelped in joy, though it sounded more like a groan and was accompanied by a fit of coughs. Nonetheless spreading out his arms he felt the same joy he had seen in her eyes. And he savored the beauty around. As a tears trickled down his eyes.He turned around and peered at the sunshine. It was bright, he flickered his eyes, and slowly the bright light filled his eyes. The warmth filled his heart as he spoke "I love you too Sunshine" and then, just like that, everything went dark, and he collapsed into the shadows of the cliff.

swine flu

2009-08-11T12:15:00.000-07:00

SWINE FLU SWINE FLU!!! *PANIC* :D

loss in fiction

2009-06-08T11:03:00.000-07:00

The moan of the thunder lights the skies,
Her sharp gaze blinds my eyes!
all dryness inside wets the surroundings,
and a smile on her face plays rhythm on my heartstrings!
while the eagle's claw dig into a kangaroo's pouch,
reminds me of her sweet voice, last of which I heard, was in march!
a evil snake’s curled up straight along the highway’
her hair so soft, none of which for me anymore are they?
A mighty volcanic eruption makes snow in the bathroom’
While his hand wraps her so close as they dance together in the ballroom!
A sex starved fish peeps through the glass bowl at the mistress
today as she is gone ,everything is lost, my sweetness!
The sick gorilla winks back at you as it eats rotten mustard,
I hate his guts and the kisses that he gets, the lucky bastard!
In the headlines : a rabbit caught smoking marijuana under the sunlight
it all comes back to me, as finally the darkness wins over the dim light
confused? thats me!

The connversation

2009-04-01T06:16:00.000-07:00

HE: Heloo my dear!

SHE: Who are you?

HE: myself, your well wisher… Can we b Frands?

SHE: sorry do I know you?

He: no, I’m quite famous in my "vatara" but you don't know me!

SHE: so who are you?

HE: Janardhana Shetty K.S

SHE: oh k!

HE: Can we be frands?? You know like boyfrand and galfrand!

SHE: Huh!! I don't even know you!!

HE: I told na… I am Janardhan Shetty. I’m very sexy!

SHE: so?

HE: I swim in a pond near my village so I have very sexy body when I see in mirror I look exactly like Angelina Jolie but like male Angelina Jolie.

SHE: sorry! I don't want to be your friend. And don't message me anymore.

HE: "Don't you wish your boyfrand was hot like me"? don't cha?
I know, I steal that from pussycat dolls, they are my fav. band you see!! But it is very true for me. I and my frands Madappa, Lingswamy,Teppana and Gopi danced for that song on stage during our village 'jaatre'.

SHE: *no reply*

HE: I know after hearing about my sexiness you will want to know more. I have karate purple belt. I can protect you from evils of the society..I regularly do practice with my 10 year old cushion chikku( my aunty's male son) ! Also my mother makes me drink buffalo's milk ( female buffalo) daily so I’m very straang!!

SHE: stop messaging me. I don't want to talk to u!

HE: hey my dear. You are so shy. I knew you would like me. Its all Amma Ghajagamini's krupe !! You finally fell for me!! Now even I’m shying and I have turned pink. But you cannot notice, because I got lots of pubic hairs on my face!

SHE: **** ( who the hell is Amma Ghajagamini?? )

HE: You know I have a picture of you in my bedroom, my hole( big one.. many people can come and go) and also kitchen and bathroom so I can see you all the times.. I put fresh flowers on it daily.. It has you in chaddi!! You look so naaicee.. eeheeheeheeeheee I’m blushing just saying this !!

SHE: you are a sicko!! How did you get my photo? ( F@$kin Bastard!!)

HE: Aiyo.. Amma Ghajagamini blesses me! I am not sick. I am 1st class fine! I will send a apology letter for this because I took it without your permission. I was passing near your house with my dog kunda Jonny (he is blind in 1 eye) and when you were not looking at my sexy body I took it!! I did it very fast!! I am super fast photographer you know!! But it is very blur. But I can manage!

SHE: you know my house??!! ( mummy!! )

HE: yes!! I always come in front of your house! And make my kunda jonny pee in front of your house so that I can look at you and you can look at me. But I can't look properly because I have Jogi hairstyle..so I will change tomorrow to Ghajini hairstyle.. Its a surprisee for you!! :D

SHE: whatever I don't care! Goodbye don't message me! ( oh my god! who is this jerk!! ewwwwwwwwwww )

He: oh so you want to meet me? I knew you couldn't resist my temptation and want to meet me for real.! Its all Amma Ghajagamini's krupe.. also my parents blessing. Yours and my 1st love is blossoming!! Ok my dear. I will meet you in 5 minutes. I will be wearing pink shorts( my fathers gift on my 14th birthday) its a bit tight now and some of my body parts are not comfortable in it but my mother says I look like Katrina Kaif in 'jee karda' song (male version of katrina kaif... Im veryyy sexy) ! And yellow 'reeepok' shirt! Its original! Made in Bhutan! Imported shirt you know :)

SHE: U F%*kin jerk! Get lost! don;t even dare come near my house!! OR message ME!! OK!!! just F%*k OFF!!!

HE:hahaha BAKRA!!! :D Its .......!!

Note: This is 99.9% real conversation :D

Why you are here

2009-01-18T22:26:00.001-08:00

Fly HIGH!!

2009-01-12T02:15:00.000-08:00

In a dark dingy bar, I perch on a round stool holding a drink in my hands. And I have this conversation.
Me: I can fly… So... I am a fly.
Yeah! I am a fly!But I am also stupid. I am a stupid fly.
I am a stupid fly.And I even eat shit .So I must be a shit eating stupid fly.
Hmmm...I am a shit eating stupid fly .I am so fucked up. Well then I am a fucked up shit eating stupid fly.
I am a fucked up shit eating stupid fly .I’ll soon die.Then I’ll be a dead fucked up shit eating stupid fly.Thats right!!
So what are you?
An Eskimo?
Or are you a mug of Beer?huh!
well then...hmmm!
Jeez!! Don't tell me you are a cup of Horlicks? Hahahahaaaaha!!
Or are you a shot of Tequila? vooo!
Ummmm I know!! yeaaa!!! You must be Superman!!

*HICK*

Oh yeah! By the way I am also DRUNK!!

20 things!!

2008-12-28T21:15:00.000-08:00

YeePIEEE!! Exams are over and its holidayssss!!! You people may be doing a bit of traveling. And happen to travel by train.
But the damn train is going to be late for hours and you are waiting all alone.
Pikkupage guide on what to do when stuck in a railway station:
1] Neatly lay your handkerchief on the ground, pull out your music player and start dancing. You may earn some POCKET MONEY.
2] Get into random trains walk the whole length of the train and tell people its your seat they are sitting on.
3] If the above idea turns ugly and if people didn’t find it funny, then RUN!
4] Start doing stretching exercises include splitting your legs and cry out in pain if you can’t do it fully!
5] Walk till the end of the platform; go to the next one till the last platform. Now repeat this in reverse, but JOG this time.
6] Dress up in saffron and do a Baba Ramdev imitation.
7] After the YOGA you need to rest , so lay down on the bench and do 'NIDRAASAN', to make it more real play some OOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM OOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM kind of music on the player.
8] And suddenly wake up with a shocked expression and run around madly yelling ‘BOMB IN MY ASS…BOMB IN MY ASS’, when everyone is scared and runs away ,with a relieved expression on your face let out a gentle FART.
9] If the Guards or the Police don’t shoot you when you yelled BOMB and if you are still alive we shall continue to the next step.
10] Hire a coolie and order him to entertain you!!
11] That may not work.
12] Jump into a train and try peeing in every toilet of every boogie. You can ask another fellow waiting ‘male’ passenger to compete with you.
13] Well you can cheat by making “ssshhhh” sounds once you are inside. He will never know ;)
14] Go to the waiting room and DON’T WAIT there!! The room will be really pissed by that :D
15] Check out the prettiest girl in the platform and March past her like you did in school and salute her.
16] She may not be interested in you anymore but don’t let that deter you, keep trying that on every other girl, at least one of them will have a bad taste and may find that funny and get impressed.
17] And if you happen to be a girl try that on a guy. He sure will like what ever you do!! Trust me!!
18] Go to the newsstand and read the headlines and with an evil laughter tease the shopkeeper “yessssssss!!! I read the headlines for freee …nananananananaaaa MUHAHAHAHAHAHA”
19] Start studying for your next exam!! HUH???!!!
20] Get into a browsing center if any in the station and see my **** (the stars stand for ‘B L O G’ you dirty minds!!!)

CAUTION : DO NOT TRY THESE AT HOME :D

At first sight

2008-11-15T08:09:00.000-08:00

She was sitting with her long legs resting over the small stool and looking over the window, The full moon peeped in from between the scattering clouds, the drizzle left behind puddles of water on the road which glistened golden under the sodium vapor streetlights.
The cloudy sky reflected the gloominess in her life. She wanted a breath of fresh air and still in her short silky night gown she slipped in to her sandals and out she went. Crossing her arms with a slight shiver she walked alone in the dark night, which went darker with the sudden power cut! Though having second thoughts about the whole walking thing now, she carried on. The eerie calmness accompanied by the cold of the night raised innumerable Goosebumps on her soft smooth skin. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it with a lighter. The flame warmed her and the warm smoke gushed into her lungs and she felt more alive. Closing her eyes and opening her bright red lips into a "o" she breathed out the smoke out in rings. And she opened her beautiful blue eyes and watched the smoke ring enlarge and rise into the sky, the moonlight and the trees nearby made the whole atmosphere seem magical.

He looked at the brown steaming hot coffee, the brew was perfect so was the aroma of the beans as he savored it. He just loved the warm caffeine run down his throat when everything around was chilled. But as the vapors rose he saw something or someone at a distance. Keeping his favorite red mug down on the table and crossing his lush green lawn he walked over to the compound wall and looked at her. She was unlike anyone he had seen before. She was the most beautiful of all the girls he had been with. There was something about her. The lit cigarette dangling loosely in her hand, the smoke she was blowing out, the slight flutter of her night gown in the gentle cool breeze. The sight was hotter then any coffee he ever had! She was gorgeous from head to toe! Just the sight of it gave him goose bumps all over and he pinched himself both to reassure himself that he wasn't dreaming and to keep the blood flowing in his hands, he watched the magical sight.

And then, she looked up at him through her blue eyes straight into his own light brown eyes. And they smiled with naughtiness in both of their eyes.

"CUT!!!!!" Next shot tomorrow!! Now Paack up!!" Yells The Director over the mike!
(Then he rushes over to the actors and greets them) Wonderful shot madaaam!!!, saar, soooper shot saar!!!
(The Director Mr.Murugudaasum is jubilated; the shot came off just as he wanted it to)

She (with a arrogance of a leading lady asks to the spot boy) : "huh! Finally!! Thank god!! Is my car ready??" And she walks off in a hurry without giving a cursory glance at Him.
He(madly lusting over the leading lady smiles inwardly as he imagines a love scene next and asks the director eagerlyand with a smug): Hey Mr. Director, what’s the next scene??
Mr.Murugudaasum: saaar accident scene saar!!! didn't you read the script saar?! You just scream in shock " aiyooo meenakshiiii" when a branch from a tree falls "accidently" on Madaaam's head saar!! Wonderfull script saar. Audience will be in tears saar!!! Ofcourse saar to make the impact more evident we will slip an Item song and dance called “ bahooottt dard hota hai ” !!
This Sudden twist or the fall of branch will knoct out the heroinesaar and she wil have the shocked expression on her face like forever saar and this will make drive you into Maddness saar, which cannot be cured saar and the producer wants a new twist saar he wants to Bump you off and your make soul be reborn as Superstar Himesh reshamiya saar who will then fall in love with the knocked out lady with no expressions whats so ever due to the imact saar and cure her and live happily ever after saar !!! That reminds me saar Madaam will look very saaexy in the “ghajini “ hairstyle after her surgery saar!!!
wow saar!! Such a emotional and thrilling story saar!!
He: waat?? $@#& !!! emmm errr...ohhh hmmm....(and faints)

Authors note:Fans of Ghajini and himass sorry himesh ..please think of this as a publicity ;)

Bounce Back!

2008-10-27T10:36:00.000-07:00

As I write this, the speakers are doing "Shut up and Bounce"( a song from Dostana) and my neighbor kid is bursting a never ending cracker marathon thingy which is just not willing to SHUT UP!!!(Notice the growing irritation towards Crackers ?? )
You must be wondering what was the great thing that spared you of posts on this blog.
Well its called "writers block".( I Am no writer but there was a certain mental block or something)
There was nothing happening which would be worth all the typing and publishing (and I heard what you just said!! "As if the previous posts were worth it" :P )
I ran out of stories on Friends (Well not exactly, just waiting for more INTERESTING developments, WATCH THIS SPACE ;)). And I won't be writing mine of course :D
I had enough of answering to lousy questions about myself or otherwise and posting them. I mean who cares about it??
And I seriously didn't want to write about all the weird dreams that I've been having lately.( The other person involved wouldn't want me to either. :D)
Though all 3 of us (me, Sabi and Sheki- who BTW started MOBILE BLOGGING it as and when things happened ) set out to write a blog entry on our Mangalore trip, but, none came up with it. Wonder why? (We were so very GOOD there ;))
The cells in the brain and heart (dil ki awaaz) didn't agree on anything and nothing qualified as good enough. Or may be I shall cut all the bullshit and say I was plain lazy! But with all the special classes, tuitions and of course the college I wouldn't call myself lazy!!
But then at this rate the handful of my readers will soon forget this lovely blog (:D) So thought would just drop in and wish you all a Happy Diwali!!

Go burst those loud polluting expensive crackers for which little children in a small dusty village near Sivakasi toiled day and night, holed up in a small window less dark room to make a few extra paisa for their family !! (Ahh the sadistic pleasure in putting someone off :D)
Go BANG BANG BANG BOOM BOOM !!!(so how many of you went through HELLO??? It sucks!! )
Shut up and Bounce…. Bounce…. ….

Tagged

2008-09-02T23:43:00.000-07:00

Last movie seen in a theatre:
ROCK ON and it ROCKED!!!

What book are you reading?
A Book on Mind Reading . And so I know that you are currently reading this blog! :D

Favorite board game:
Does Key'Board' count?? ;)

Favorite smells:
Coffee, New Book, favorite dish and many more which cannot be mentioned here!!

Favorite sound :
Music, Ping on the IM window or cell, but a strict NO-NO to Himesh's nasal sounds!!

Worst feeling in the world:
That would be disappointment, loss, failure!

What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
Wow, if only that dream had become a reality. ;) Actually I think of YOU!!

Favorite fast food place:
Where ever you take me and pay the bill, is my favorite :)

Future child’s name:
Does that mean I have a present child or had a past child? Lets skip this!!! :P

Finish this statement, “If I had a lot of money I’d…”
be very very very very rich.:D

Do you drive fast?
No, I fly low!! I know that wasn't original!! My speed is relative. Depends on who is with me.

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
Huh!! My bed is stuffed !! Animal, NO!!!

Storms - Cool or Scary?
Cool of course!! But I love it when girls get scared :D

Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
Where's the damn dictionary!??

If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
Purple and would spike it up and walk around as if in a daze and call myself 'the Purple HAZE'!!!
Kidding!!!I'm happy with black!!

Name all the different cities/towns you have lived in:
Mysore, Delhi, My room!!

Favorite sports to watch:
When I do watch, its Krrickett or foootbaalss!!!

What’s under your bed?
Monsters!!And they are pulling my leg, they might gobble me up any time. You wan't some??!!

Would you like to be born as yourself again?
Ummm,I don't think you people would like another Pikkupage, would you?? :P

Morning person or night owl ?
I'm a morning owl!!! What ever that means.

Favorite place to relax:
My Room and yours. : P

Favorite pie:
American Pie!! ;)

Favorite ice cream flavor:
Vanilla!!

Note : Anybody interested can copy the questions and answer them in comments or in their blog!!

Things from my life (in no particular order)

2008-09-02T02:14:00.000-07:00

Note: This is not a grocery list or Stuff to do before you die. Just random list of things and I don't know what call this list.

1) Waking up late, getting ready skipping the breakfast and rushing to college only to find that the lecturer is absent.
2) Driving in the rain (did too much of it in Goa)
3) Receiving mails which are "forward this to 20 people or you die" kind and sending them back to that person (you know who) :P
4) Walking on the beach at night (One of Sabi's ideas)
5) Smell of freshly brewed coffee
6) When doing nothing, I plan to do many things!
7) eeee, grrrr, argh!!,hmmm, and other such sounds :P
8) Simply( Chumma ??) watching the rainfall.
9) Seriously altering the testimonials from friends in Orkut.
10) Curd Rice with pomegranate, grapes and dry fruits!! YUMMY!!! :D
11) MTV with all its stupid and funny stuff.(But Splitsvilla sucked!!)
12) That one phone call or message from someone special.:)
13) Forwarding mails and spamming your Inbox: D
14) Somehow sneaking past all vehicles ahead of me at traffic signal and then be the first to move when it turns green.
15) Smiley’s - :) ;) ;P :D :| :P (and the latest one '<3' .This was invented by Pallu)
16) Watching a baby sleep, or you sleeping ;)
17) Phone calls when I'm in deep slumber!!
18) Bunking classes and watching movies 1st Day 1st show!!
19) Looking at old photos and regretting having posed in them!! :P
20) Daydreaming and nightmaring ;P
21) Hooting or howling in the theater. Cause I don't know how to whistle:|
22) Puppies and kittens
23) Making people Bakra!!
24) Talking on with people without telling them that it's a "WRONG NUMBER"
25) Sending SMSs (which I find funny and they find stupid) to friends.
26)Apart from Hindi, English and Kannada, watching Latin, Korean, Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam and Urdu movies with ENGLISH SUBTITLES
27) Reading novels which are big small or ugly!!
28) Listning to music and then turning up the volume, fall ASLEEP :)
29) This is just to make the list 30.
30) Hurray!!! :P
Happy Ganesha Chaturti !!! :)

I Blahg, Talks!

2008-08-22T10:02:00.000-07:00

I am Ram's Blog .I live in the Web(like you, mr or miss netizen) and my friends call me Spiderwoman. But considering that I don't have any friends, I don't think any one calls me that.
Today, I'm going to share with you what has been burning inside me for a long time now. I am so frustrated! Please be my 'agony aunt' !!
I don't know where to begin.RAM!!! The ultra irritating owner of this blog. How do you bare him??
The weird list on the right side called 'buddy blogs' is full of blogs like me who are bored, dazed and abused. I got this 'quote curry' space where lines lifted off from other places are shamelessly stamped on me. Now don't even get me started on the 'weekly status message' I mean who cares a damn what the F*** he does the whole week?? And then he has this 'music to the ears', the thing which he thinks would entertain me. Blah! Its playing the same song for decades now!! It doesn't even have a simple playlist!!
In fact he is not the only problem .Even you!! Why???
Sigh!! How people get busy. I keep trying to make myself more appealing by adding new technology,photos of dead guys or drinks and other stuff but its of little use. Some times I am even tempted to put up a hot bikini just so that you could look at me a little longer. But alas! I am just a software and I won't look hot in a bikini so I ditched the Idea. You don't know how NOT being ogled at, with disbelieving eyes feels like. No you don't.
I always wanted to be a famous blog, like my cousin, the lucky bastard he ended up being Aamir Khan's blog while I am stuck here with this moron who derives immense happiness by writing crappy material on me which no one reads. After everything I've done for this guy, what do I got in return? Some bullshit about him being 50% male and 50% female based on his browser cache? And what the hell was that nonsense about him being '18 till he dies' and what was it anyways, a ridiculous rap , hip hop or a nursery rhyme?
All I wanted was to be a good blog with many readers. I'm tired of being referred to as "Pikku page". I mean, that name doesn't even sound cool, it sucks!!! For Google's sake, he doesn't even promote me, other than of course his 5 or 6 friends, some of whom are great people who write blogs just as badly as him and others, well they hardly talk to me.
BOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :( !!

Anyways thanks for listening to me,
Whatever you do or don't, I love you loads!
yours forever,
I Blahg( see what I mean? )

SEX

2008-08-21T05:11:00.000-07:00

I am an average GUY.
And the law of averages is probably going to be stuck with me forever!! The likelihood of me passing any exam is 50-50. And here is adding to the list of things which are 50-50 in my life.

I found this web application which tells the odds of you being a male or a female based on your browser cache. Cool, HUH?

My results were .... well 50-50 :|

Likelihood of you being FEMALE is 50%
Likelihood of you being MALE is 50%

hmmmmmmm....................

Well, check your "SEX" here.
Don't forget to post your results in the 'comments'. :)

Freedom!

2008-08-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

She hadn't received his calls the previous night. And he shifted, turned and rolled around on his bed, trying to get a sleep. But it was no use, and he sat up listening to KK's Khuda jaane. And listening to the wonderful song on repeat,he fell asleep. And it was 8.30 when he woke from his slumber.5 years back, on this day, he would have dressed in a neatly ironed uniform and marched past the dais which stood beside the NATIONAL FLAG. But today he had no time even to Brush and he started fiddling with the small keypad of his mobile and typed in ‘Happy independance day, Good Morning :) wassup??'. And sent it to her number.And he sat waiting for her reply and as sounds of bugles and drums and Patriotic songs blared in the loud speakers from the schools nearby.

She was dressed in a white salwar. She had bought it a couple of days back. She loved it the moment she laid her eyes upon it. Carefuly looking at the mirror she applied the dark mascara around her beautiful eyes. Looking quite satisfied in the mirror or rather a bit impressed she gave herself a naughty wink. She couldn't wait to meet him. She could already imagine the look on his face. She giggled to herself. She had purposefully avoided him the previous night. She knew he would be missing her .She liked that. As she was rushing to the dining table to eat her breakfast, her phone beeped twice. And the display glow "New message recieved". It was from him. and she replied "GM.,see you in the theater in an hour" She knew he wouldn't have remembered.

He had forgotten about the movie.Grabbing a towel, he rushed to the bathroom. The Suprabatham was playing on the old tape recorder in the other room .He was humming Khuda jaane as he scrubbed and washed his hair. Praying to god that he can make it in time for the movie.
She didn't like waiting. And grabbing the nearest T-shirt in his wardrobe,he smelled it and it smelled fine. Then taking his old pair of jeans he put it on. Took some cash from his Mom's purse and filled it inside the Wallet she had gifted him last month. And he rushed to the theater on his Bike. Stopping at annoying signals he finally made it. She wasn't there yet. And he sighed in relief.
The theater was buzzing with youngsters,single guys, gangs of girls and love lorn couples. He wondered, why was he still single??

She couldn't stop smiling ,she knew she had to do it. And she already loved the feeling. And she drove faster and finally reached the theater and she saw him. And sneaking quietly behind him she shrieked excitedly "Hiiii!!!"

He missed a heart beat! And recovering from the shock he turned back. She was dressed in a salwar, it was white his favorite. She had long flowing silky hair, just like he had liked. She was blushing and she looked cute. His heart missed a beat again.
As his heart raced, his face drained off any color.
The guy standing next to him hugged her and both of them left hand in hand. Her fingers between his.
He felt sick. “OMG even that lousy looking guy has such a pretty girlfriend!!".
As such varied emotions ran through his mind, the familiar yelling of his "friend" bought him back to reality. "Enjoying your FREEDOM huh?? Checking out other guy's girlfriend? Go get the tickets, you dummo!! I can't wait" she ranted off in her ever energetic voice.This was one freedom he did not mind losing!
"Yeah right, HAPPY INDEPENDANCE DAY TO YOU TOO" he snapped at her. And he joined the Que.

P.S: Happy Independance Day to you all!! :)
And do I have to tell you, that this was a fiction?

18 till I die?

2008-08-01T08:40:00.000-07:00

I could play in the sands
I was not looked down upon when I ate with no spoon just hands
I could play in the hot sun
I was the same age as my neighbors’ son
I could go to school without polishing my shoes and get wacked
I had a truckload of stamps in my cupboard neatly stacked
I could play a tree on a school day and get applause
I was all muddy and dirty but still was not called gross
I could sit on any park bench without blowing away the dust
I was punished by my teacher for coping in test and breaking her trust
I could get wet in the rain and have a wet cloth on my forehead the next day
I had to rush home from school and go to lousy tuitions everyday
I could watch cartoon network and pogo
I had great friends who also did the same and didn't think I was a freako

And then something happened and things changed,

I only see sands when I go to the beaches
I fumble with the spoons and spill, people around give weird looks and say Jesus!
I get tanned in the sun so I apply sunscreen and stay indoor!
I look at the neighboring kid play in the mud through my grilled door
I have to polish my shoes and be presentable or get sacked
I get transferred from city to city and I move with my things packed
I have a mustache and a beard which cover my jaws
I don't really like what I see in the mirror. I have my flaws.
I don't sit on a park bench alone, people may think I am a Moron
I get drunk in pubs and dream of becoming a liquor baron
I cover myself in plastic when it rains to protect my cloths which are precious
I often rush from college to meet my girlfriend before she can get ferocious
I stay late nights and just watch MTV or channel V
I have friends who are too busy as they drive around in their SUV.

I grew up, that's what happened!!
Shit happens!!

You have recieved a Testimonial!!

2008-07-29T22:26:00.000-07:00

Long time no see huh??
Yeah I was buzy!!
No pervs I wasn't getting laid, I had been to Manglore. I'll soon put up the snaps if you're interested but its just full of FOOD, FOOD and more FOOD, because that's all we did there. Eat!!
Anways this post is not about Food or Manglore, but something different!

Now I do Orkuting and Facebooking a lot. And I know if you're reading this, even you do that!!
And you must have noticed the different types of Testimonials that people send to each other on Orkut.
On one hand you have,
Guys who hardly write testimonials . Some do write, but only to their close buddies .And even if they do, they find it extremely tough to bring out words, describing their ‘chaddi dosts’. Its just not in our DNA I guess. Or may be the stuffs that guys know about each other are too 'taboo' to be on their Orkut profile where they are either too cool, smart and a Casanova or a nerdy, decent guy. No guy can be a stupid blonde you know!
And with great difficulty when we do come up with something nice and sweet its mostly wrapped up in less than 2 or 3 lines. So we resort to those 'ready made testimonials' of "UROCK" and those guy holding a guitar images made of letters though the guy has never played a guitar in his life or the ones with a bike doing wheeling but sadly the guy in question doesn't even own a damn bike. But thats guys for you. Poor creatures we are.
On the other hand are the girls.
I have never seen a girl's profile on Orkut without a testimonial.
They get one almost every other week and sometimes multiple testimonials from a single 'friend', without making it look odd!!
They get tons of testimonials from 'guy friends' and with that those long emotional testimonials from the 'CLOSEST' or the 'BESTEST' friends of theirs.
These testimonials are not much help in knowing the person better because almost all the girls happen to be very sweet, chweet, chweetheart and yeah! Honey and baby etc .They 'luv' each other a lot. And they always get "mmmuahhh"!!
No guy would ever do that now, would he? You 'Muah' your close friend, and he would probably think you're drunk or worse turned gay!
These testimonials are seriously gender biased . No girl ever sends me a testimonial containing lines like "You are a sweetheart", "love u honey" "mmuahh baby" "you're naughty and playful". And neither do Guys and even if any guy indeed sends it, I would be obviously reject it!! Duh!

Sigh!!

Its worse for guys like me, who according to all girls 'is very shy' in real world and all they know is I happen to talk like hell on "GTalk" or "yahoo" and so they hardly write any testimonials to me, and when they do, they accompany with it some sort of " statutory warning" about me being active or talkative only virtually, which only reaffirms the doubts of other girls and thus ruining my "many chances"(could be anything )

So guys write some sane testimonials making me look as the greatest earthling ever and girls, I know you 'luv' me because I am an extremely chweet and a chweetheart so don't be shy go ahead and ‘muah’ me loads !!! Luv u baby!!! :)

the tree,early man and her!

2008-07-17T10:03:00.000-07:00

I was dressed in a green shirt and a brown pant.
Yeah I was indeed 'a tree' that night.
He was dressed in a fake deer skin, unruly hairs all over the body and fake facial hairs.
Yeah he was indeed 'an early man' that night.
I was handed a few twigs and leaves in my hand and I started rehearsing to be the Tree. Mind you, I was not an ordinary tree. I was a holy tree and half dozen early mans had to worship me!! Being a avid Movie fan, I knew no role was small, I have to play a character, which was not an ordinary character, it was a holy Tree, from ruffling and shaking the twig and leaves lightly, I did everything in the book to make it look realistic.(stop giggling now, Its very tough being a TREE).
So where was I? Yeah rehearsing. Though I thought mine was a VERY IMPORTANT ROLE, the Early man’s role was not a small one either. He had to howl and walk in circles around me 3 times, howl even more and rise their arms in air and yeah you guessed it, HOWL again!!
And I seriously thought that needed a lot of rehearsal back stage.
It was the school annual day which apparently was done at night!!
And I was indeed 'a tree' that night!
And he was indeed 'an Early man' that night!
And he instead of practicing his difficult howling, was restless and kept on nudging me with his "baaro 1 nimsha"( Come with me for a minute)
As the beats and the classical music resounded in the auditorium(Kalamandira), he pulled me to the side of the stage, a place dark and hidden from the excited parents, crying little siblings and hooting old students of our school!!
With us were the anxious teachers who encouraged the performers on stage if they were to make a mistake. And we were there not to help anyone of course!!

I gulped at the sight of the audience though I couldn’t see much as it was dark there too,but was sure there were hundreds and I reminded myself not to mess up. I had to be the perfect tree!!! Stand still ruffle and shake the leaves a bit and continue to stand still especially the lower half of my body!!
But the 'early man' was least bothered I guess it came to him naturally, being the Early man!!!
Anyways you may be wondering what we were doing on the side stage instead of rehearsing back stage!
Well I was the side kick who was to give MORAL SUPPORT to the HERO who was cheking out the HEROINE!!
Now like in movies I was not a really DUMB SIDEKICK!!
But then no movie can ever have a hero in early man costume either!
Ok now heroine was dancing away to glory beautifully matching steps with her partner in Bharatanatyam !!And she was making weird gestures with her fingers and eyes( Yeah very poor knowledge of Bharatanatyam) but she was smiling all the way! And the early man stared on with his mouth open, eyes bulging out of their sockets admiring her and the sidekick tree was ruffling and shaking lightly IN ANXIETY!!!!

All I was praying for was the dumb Early man won't go on stage and HOWL and run in circles around her instead of me!!!Yeah she was already giving a sense inferiority!!!
Tree, be a perfect Tree!!
But it indeed was a good performance, girls have this great ability to make anything they do much ,much more better than it already is with a smile and it as quite obvious with loud applause she got for the Bharatanatyam, the dance with weird eye ball movements and hand gestures(sometimes very offensive actually :P)!!
Finally she walked off the stage and walked past us, the hero and the sidekick on the side stage, nobody acknowledges a tree but she couldn't recognize the early man either, I doubt if he himself could if he stared at the nearest mirror!!
And like a hungry dog which follows you everywhere if you tempt it with yummy food, he followed her. And me, the tree slapping my head, followed the Early man,defying the laws of nature!!
If only even she could have stood on the side stage and watched me doing the perfect tree ,so perfect a pigeon made a cozy nest on my head( that’s not true) and the early man whose howls were so realistic it scared away the pigeon( ummm, may be true ;) ).
But am sure, if she is reading this she sure is making all the eye ball movements and hand gestures(offensive??)!!!
And the early man, would certainly be HOWLING!!!
Who was the early man, who was she, who am I? Crap you know me!!Yes, I'm the tree!!

Those who loved me as a Tree, please Comment :)
Those who loved the early man, please HOWL!! :D
Those who loved her , let me know your name and from which side of the stage were you looking ;)

P.S: I no longer accept roles as a TREE!!! I do only guest appearance!! :D

Eye love U

2008-07-17T09:53:00.000-07:00

Sabi's
Favourite Bond Movie: For your Eyes only.
Least Favourite Movie: Black,Andha Kanoon.
Favourite Hindi Dialog: ...acha?? Ek bar mere Aankhon mein Ankhein dal ke dekho aur kaho ki tum mujhse pyar nahin karte...
Favourite English Dialog : Look into my eyes, Baby!!
Favourite hindi song :Aankhon mein teri ajab si..
Favourite english song: Angel eyes..
Favourite Kannada song: Koltalalappo Koltalalappo Kanninale Kanninale kolatalalappo..
Favourite One liner :There's more to it then what meets the EYE!!
Favourite letter in english language: 'I' (Duh!!)
Favouite fashion accesory :Fast track 'eye' gear.
Favourite Drink : 'Ice' tea
Favourite Icecream: 'Ice'cream
Most used word while talking: 'Eye'yooo
Favourite insect: the house fly because it has thousands of 'eyes'
Written on the door of his room: Eye'm IN!!
Conversation between Sabi and her

Sabi: I love U!!
her: But, U love 'I'!!:P

Recent song he loves to sing for her: Kabh'i' Kabh'i' Ad'i't'i'( not just because of the i's) and ofcourse Nazrein milana, Nazrein churana :D
When did we come to know he was in love?
When he kept mumbling even in his sleep, "Eye love her, Eye love her..."
and what he said after reading this?

"Eye kill u!!!!!!!!!!!" :D

Double trouble

2008-07-17T09:48:00.000-07:00

Moran's
Favourite drink: 'Duet' Coke ;) and tea with 2 teaspoon sugar!
Favorite Comic: Archies!!(takes it 'two' seriously)
Favorite TV show: Desperate Housewives season 2
Wants to have: twins.
Favorite line: Main ek, mere do!!
Favorite Qoute: Ek maar do tukda!
Favorite Bond Movie: You only live twice
Favourite movie : 21( yeah! two-one=21 ),Double Indemnity,Pati,Patni aur wo!
Gets cought by Traffic police: For trible riding
Favorite movie dialog: Mein tumhara judwa bhai hoon.
Felt really sad:When the Twin towers fell.
Favorite hindi song: DO dil mil rahe hein magar..
Written on the door of his room : Two-let!
Favorite pet: rare and exotic animals like a 2 headed dog,snake etc
Wants to write a book: titled 2 mistakes of my life!!
Favorite Liesure activity: Playing two player games alone!
Likes to do Salsa: but usually it ends up as a Group dance ! ;)
Worst experience: Having been kicked out of a disc which had entry for 'couples only' and they thought he was the STAG who came along with the couples!! :D
Lucky number: 2
When on a Date: Books a table for 3!
Wakes up everyday: At 2 Am!!

Conversation between Moran and a fellow college stud.
Moran: Mere paas 2 eyes, 2 ears,2 arms,2 legs 2 nips and 2 b***s and 2 gals hein...tumhare pass kya hein???
Stud: ***gets depressed and runs away crying.."Maaaa....."***

Copyright:Mallika

2008-07-11T10:48:00.000-07:00

As reported by Mumbai Mirror , Mallika Sheravat has applied for a trademark of her name so that no one can use her name or pictures to promote their movies or products without her consent. In short – Mallika Sherawat is now a brand and you will have to pay her or get sued by her if you try to ride on her popularity.

Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika
Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika Mallika

COME ON, SUE ME!!!!!!! :D

from Kabul

2008-07-10T00:05:00.000-07:00

The ambulance wailed in a distance contrast to the loud screaming in his heart. All around him people huddled and looked on curiously, some shocked, some shouting for water. But all he cared was her. Just her.
It was still crystal clear in his memory, the first time he'd seen her. It was right here outside the Consulate. Dressed in pink salwar,the cool breeze made her curly hair stand out in uncontrollable wisps around her face. She'd kept pushing it off her cheek. He thought she was pretty. Just pretty. But then, she smiled. It was like some sort of Super nova blasting in his eyes. It wasn't merely the beauty of it; it was the life in it. Something he hadn't seen before.
And then, she left.
Next week, he saw her again. She was no miss world but her smile would put even a gushing miss universe to shame. Standing in the long queue, in the hot sun, she was talking to someone. She was talking as much with her face and hands as with her lips which contrasted his own 'mouth shut' self. And she twitched her lips to smile.
And then, she left.
She was now everything to him.But as for her, he didn't really exist. But perhaps, destiny had something else in store. He saw her again. He thought, there could be nothing more beautiful than her smile, until he saw her eyes.
And then, she left.
He couldn't get her out of his mind. And thus he came everyday unmindful of the long queue, least bothered of the hot sun, lost in her thoughts he started enjoying the long visa procedure.
It was late afternoon. She was standing in the queue and a dozen people separated him from her. Men and women stood waiting for their chance braving the sun and dust. Like most in the queue he wanted to go to the country which helped his, he wanted to see the Taj Mahal. He wanted to pray at Ajmer Sharif, he wanted to offer a chadar at Haji Ali, he wanted to see Shah Rukh Khan up-close, he wanted to see the hot Mallika Sheravat. But unlike others, he wanted her the most.
As fleet of official black cars of the Embassy arrived, nobody missed the odd looking white Toyota as it closed in. The gate was closed after the embassy Cars moved in, but the white Toyota accelerated and rammed into the gates.
He thought he was blinded and deaf as he just squatted on the ground too shocked too numb to realize what had just happened. Wrecks of metal and plastic lay amidst pieces of what would have formed a human body; and blood cleansed and cooled the hot dusty road.
And then it trickled into him and he ran as fast as his wounded legs could, his bloodshot eyes searching for her, amidst the wrecks and ruins left from the Bomb Explosion.
Somebody near him was calling the emergency number as cries of pain, agony and despair filled the air. Finally he found her, the white of her dress, stained red with her blood. Her beautiful eyes were shut in pain. He could see now that her hairs were all over her cheeks but she was not brushing them aside. He held her closer for a moment, making her cry in pain.
"Don't worry, help is on the way" he said breathlessly. For a moment he worried whether she knew English. He felt a soft touch on his arm."Thank you." he heard the faint slow reply, not like her life, which was flowing out of her. "Someone should inform my parents." She was growing paler.
"Where is the ambulance!" he yelled in panic and hysteria.
She just smiled, her heart breaking smile.
And then, she left.

P.S: A suicide car bomb tore open the front wall of the Indian Embassy in Kabul on Monday, killing 41 people and wounding 147 in the deadliest attack in Afghanistan's capital since the fall of the Taliban seven years ago.
The massive explosion, which rattled much of Kabul at 8:30 a.m., detonated only 30 yards from where dozens of Afghans line up to apply for visas, one of the reasons the casualties were so high.
Women and children browsing nearby shops were among the victims who lay on the ground, bloodied and in agony, crying for help. Smoldering ruins covered the pavement.

the Talk!!

2008-07-07T03:06:00.000-07:00

He:Why is there a God?
The Voice: To be bribed before and after your exams!!

He: What am I doing in this vast universe?
The Voice: No idea,you are just another useless,miniscule part of it.

He :I wonder, why am I here, in the 3rd planet in the Solar System?
The Voice: Given your Alien looks even I wonder why.*Heeheeheeheee

He: why was I born?
The voice: Thats a Medical Miracle(or diasaster), you lucky Sperm!!

He:why do I do what I do?
The Voice: You haven't ever done what you are supposed to do, so stop asking WHY.

He: why does the contraction of facial muscles cause smiles and the same facial muscles cause frowns?
The voice: You somehow manage to look 'OK' now, any more facial muscles and you would end up like SHREK!!

He: why are flowers pretty?
The Voice: Did you bunk classes in school days too?? Thats for reproduction!!

He: What is LOVE?
The Voice: Vo! YOu got me! Pass!

He: Eh? So when will I know its LOVE or I'm in Love??
The Voice: Umm you will have headache,nausea,fever,vomiting sensation!
Oh! No! thats symptoms of Malaria. You watched Jaane tu ya jaane na twice..you tell me!!

He: Wait a minute!Who are you??
The Voice: Iam the inner Voice!

He: Oh! So you don't even exist!!
The Voice: Are you trying to make me feel an Identity Crisis?

He: Muhahaha!! So tell me, Why do I blog?
The Voice:Haha even those reading this are asking the same thing. Why, Why the hell?!!

Google Search: Love

2008-07-04T22:50:00.000-07:00

He sits there and watches the grimy fan blades rotating with a kickery sound.
Sprawled on the bed with his hands making a head rest,he stares and stares at the fan and soon gets drifted away as the rotating fans suddenly seem to spin out a face,her face.
It was his cousin's wedding. He was standing close to the dais looking at the proceedings. But it was really tiring as he waited for all the multiple rituals to get over before the the holy nuptial knot was tied. People came and went. He was looking at them all until his eyes settled on this girl seated diagonally across him. He had never seen her before. Probably the bride's relative,he thought. He gave her a warm smile and she returned it.
He turned his gaze towards the dais. His cousin was giving a toothy smile to his wife-to-be.Theirs was a fairy tale love story where his cousin 1st saw her in MBA class and just fell in love with her and after months of wooing she also responded and now the marriage, they made such a cute pair and he wondered when he would find his own true love.....
And he looked again in her direction, and their gazes met. She was looking at him constantly. His heart started to beat out of its cage. He'd never seen anyone like her before. Her appearance tugged his heartstrings. He felt uneasy about her shy yet strangely daring stare.And this continued even while they finally sat down to eat as she came giggling with her friends and sat in the row directly opposite him. Strangely the people next to him where least bothered or oblivious as they ate away the delicious food,while he timidly ate his and she hers. And finally what seemed like an hours, for her,he gathered all his guts and gave her the best of his smiles looking deep into her eyes and she smiled back with twinkle in her eyes.
He thought he heard violins playing around him amid all the noisy guests,he felt the cool breeze in the middle o the hot and humid dining hall,he just knew he wasn't drunk and high,this was different and he knew his search was over,he had found his love.
Back in his room he forced his eyes off the fan and got up and looked at the monitor in front of him, he just had to find the old romantic songs of R.D.Burman which she had asked him for and so began his search again.

There are somethings in life which you can find in a wedding, for everything else there is Google search!! :D (Heeeheeeheee)

Virtual toon

2008-07-04T22:02:00.000-07:00

Being online all the time is both good and bad. The bad part is high internet bills while the good part is, you come across funny cartoons like this which reflect you!

My friend Arun Agrees!!!! :D

World Record!!

2008-07-04T21:34:00.000-07:00

Yoo Hoo!!!

Sporting Action!!!

2008-06-20T00:11:00.001-07:00

I suck at sports!!
Not now, because now I hardly play any sports( that’s a lie, I play Solitaire).
Well in school we had a Big playground outside the Gate ( We still believe that place is Encroached by the school mangement. :P).And in that we could play Volleyball, throwball, basketball, Football, Badminton(ocassionally).Yeah Cricket was Banned!!
Anyways we loved what we had. And we loved Volleyball. It had no star attraction to it. I don't even know if India has a National Volleyball Team and if they had a Volleyball World cup, yet, it was a craze.
Apart from the Game Periods, we used to bunk Yoga classes of our beloved Venki(sir),Computer class where they though us C (Huh? I don't even remember, never mind) and gobbling up the lunch in 5 minutes and rushing to the Band set Room(yeah they kept the balls there) and fishing out the best ball( tested by bouncing it, stylishly in front of girls acting like a Star Player).
And then jumping over the concrete compound wall(to avoid the long route through the Gate) beside which was the Volleyball court!!Splitting the class into 2 teams we use to play it everyday.
Bendu the tall guy was MOST PREFERRED PLAYER, as he saved the others from the ball as he used to send the ball into opposite court in almost any angle from any place inside the court. And my contribution usually ended when I ate my lunch quickly and got the Ball before the pestering juniors or the Bully seniors. Serving the ball I could hardly make it cross our own court and on rare occasion in which it did cross, it always used to land 'outside' the line and not to forget the stepping on line Fouls. Other times when the Ball is coming from the opposite side it usually landed where I didn't want it to, like on my head, face(that hurts),chest or on the ground, 'Inside'.
The KJo's of our class Nari and 'Sunny the Dumma' did the best thing 'Cheer and Jeer'( I always ended up with them, 5 minutes into the game).
Volleyball was predominated my Guys. And Girls well they loved Throw ball. Throwing and Catching the ball is easy, I thought. But playing with 'State Champion' Girls who used to spin and Smash the damn ball, it was tough. 'Can't we just play catch-catch' never reached their ears as they twisted their arms and palms to spin the ball and smash and it usually resulted in the twist of the arm or wrists of the one catching it. Looking stupid in front of girls was not on the Top of the Agenda. And Nari believed it was better fun, watching girls play with balls!
Then there was Basketball, 'why the hell is the damn Basket so high up in the air??' and yours truly for 'apparent' reasons didn't much like the game and preferred staying away.
Last but not the least was Football, and our Juniors were more into it (and which never goes well with any seniors) and we used to challenge them. We seniors v/s the juniors. Honestly, they were good, with all the practice and coaching and not to forget their studs. But we didn't give up. Game on!! Sabi the captain of our team and lead to many successful DRAWS!!
Me and Nari were made the Defenders(Sunny was made Goalkeeper, size matters ;)and it was fun, no need to run just stand around goal post, tying the shoelace repeatedly and gossiping). And we somehow managed to save a lot of goals by kicking madly at the ball and sometimes at the opposition’s leg.

Before balls came into our life we only had trees. And 'Tree to tree' was the game. Majority of our class was good at it. But sadly, it wasn't declared a 'SPORT'!!!

Afterthought:

Mama would be usually found at the Throw ball court checking 'her' out and plucking the petals of flower muttering, 'I love her'.. 'She loves me not'...'I love her'...'she loves me not'...Damn!!! :D
Sheki used to stand in the Volleyball court, but he thought it was Football so he always used to 'kick' the ball into the Net!! :)
Amari preferred throwing stones on a abandoned building a 100 meters away, and scaring off the Owls inside. :P
Moruu(Moran's new cuter version ;)) would usually be strangling me or Amari after being laughed at for not making any contact with any ball in any game. :(
Congo and SwapuJi played chess in Volleyball court. :|

P.S : How many of you are watchin Euro at 12 in the night, betting on teams with players whose name you can't spell and losing it?Just me??Heck! I suck Big Time!!

No Dream, no Gain

2008-06-15T02:06:00.000-07:00

The wind in his face,blowing through his hairs, wooosh... came the sound of the rushing air,he closed his eyes feeling the cool wind blowing from the sea.20 feet below, some 20 odd beautiful girls were tanning themselves in beautiful short dresses around the deep blue water.The pool added to the richness of his huge Villa by the sea side.He had named it PiX Villa. Nested among the tall coconut trees near the white sand beach of Goa, he was proud of his home. To own a piece of land in such a prime location along with a private Beach all for himself at the tender age of 25, he had made it big.Even the Mallya's and the Ambani's looked up at him.And it wasn't just them.The girls of all size,shape and age swarmed around him like honey bee's.And ofcourse he called them Honey too.He had all he could ask for in life. A dozen Cars, with two Rolls Royce, a sexy red Ferrari, his power statement The Hummer, everything a teenage guy would love to have a glance at,he owned it.
Fifty personal attendents taking care of everything from organising important buisness meetings to cutting his nails.
And the 20 girls to look after his other desires.
Standing on the Jump board which looking upon his huge villa and his beach he looked down on the girls, some cheering him on, others blowing kisses,jestering seductively with their fingers,"Come to me". He just smiled and breathing in the cool air and giving them a thumps up, he jumped. Feeling more and more air particle rubbing past him as he fell free under gravitation down into his swiming pool.
The girls were a blurr, so was his Villa,all he could see was the water,deep blue water.
And then,

THUD!!!!!!!!!

"AAh" he almost yelled !!!It wasn't a Splash that he had expected.
At 19, he still fell off his bed at nights, as was evident as his mother came rushing from her room, "Dreaming again huh?? Are you alright??" she asked.
And she helped him haul himself up from the floor and left, forcefull controlling her laughter.
"Damn MTV,Damn Splitsvilla,CRap,CRap" he muttered silently and well not to forget "Aah!! My Ass!!"

over a cup of Coffee

2008-06-11T02:01:00.000-07:00

She saw smiling faces inside it.They had no worries, even if they did, they didn't wear it on their faces. They were dressed in beautiful dresses she had never touched.
She placed her palms on both sides on the glass wall and peered in to have a better look and watched them sipping their coffees and drinks in various color, in glasses of different shapes. Their butts placed comfortably on the cushions in the Coffee shop chilled with AC.
They were all happy, giggling and laughing.May be they didn't have much to care about other than the rising fuel prices which made their long drives on their Cars and Bikes lesser. She always dreamt of doing that. Even she wanted to sit behind or with a handsome guy and be off together on long drives on those beautiful highways. She wanted to have a whole big springy double bed for herself. Even she wanted to taste those 'heart shaped Coffees'.

She didn't know if she would. She didn't know why she wouldn't.
She didn't know when she would wear those comfortable Denims and sit cross legged on those bean bags coolly in AC. She didn't know why she was wearing ragged and torn dress, why she had to sleep on the hard and cold floor every night, she didn't know why she had to sit on that hard metal bar as her father pedaled hard.
Her mother got up and prayed to the very same Gods every morning like their mothers. Her father toiled just as hard at the construction site may be harder than their fathers.Her parents also voted for the very same Political parties.
Yet she knew none to blame for the divide that the Glass wall had created between her and them.
But they sat their and blamed the pollution for a couple of tiny pimples on their smooth skin. They blamed the politician whom they voted, for the bad roads and traffic which made them late.

Their life was a Contradiction to hers.
Their beautiful hairs which seemed to curl and straighten at will and their skin all fair and lovely, those cool flashy watches on their wrists. The cups of Cold and Hot Coffees on the table and the rings of smokes they just blew carelessly. She wondered when she would be that carefree, when she would long for a 'weekend' with her friends, when she would giggle with other girls, when she would look into eyes of the guy in front of her and smile seductively.

Back to reality on the dirty footpath as her warm breath fogged the glass,just like the dark clouds that started covering the bright blue sky.Tenderly she rubbed it clean she saw some of them looking back at her . Little shaken by the sudden attention she gingerly stepped back. And was greeted by the cool breeze which spoiled her hair even more but she smiled ear to ear and strecthed out her arms feeling the cool breeze which soon was accompanied by drops of Mansoon rain and she felt the cold drops on her warm dark skin , smiling she ran and danced in the drizzle, away from the glass wall, she didn't care anymore she loved the freedom and the nature.

As for them,wonderstruck they just looked at her running happily,wondering why they couldn't do what she just did. It wasn't the glass wall in their way but their oversized ego.

Why I'm not the next Indian Idol or anything of that sort!!

2008-06-08T03:39:00.000-07:00

It was like being in the Akbar’s court which was flanked by the Navaratnas or 9 talented smart people(was it Akbar or Shah Jahan?? I’m not sure,I'm bad at these).
Imagine what could be going through a guy with no such talents in the midst of all those great people. That’s exactly how I was feeling sitting in there in my living room( I wanted to leave that place) with my Uncles, Aunts and Cousins.
It was the last day of their stay and the young ones are expected to entertain everyone by showcasing their talents( I don’t know if it happens in every house, if there is any chance of that happening, all losers like me, STAY AWAY)
So began the Talent Night, at 11:30 PM.
1st up a dance by my 11 year old cousin, who happened to be learning Bharatnatyam for the past 8 months and her mother tapped the Taala and she batted her eye lids and her feet moving hard and quick and the chan....chan..chan chan (not as in Jackie Chan)sound of her Gungroos that too at 11.45in the night she was starting to look quite scary just like Soundarya in Aptamitra( Ra raa…ra ra or vidya balan in bhool bhulaiya). Well at least her hairs did look like that.
And as she finished off to thunderous applause, the Karate Kid got ready.
Now I have nothing against Karate, I am fine with HUuuuu and HAaaaa’s (with a scornful face)but when that 13 year old started whining that he won’t do karate alone as it would look stupid, all eyes turned to me. I had to be the guinea pig so that the Karate Kid didn’t look stupid. And so began the ordeal as I stood in the middle of the room surrounded by everyone around the imaginary Ring and the Karate kid launched assaults one after the other.The kicks followed by the punches(while I wondered if needed a Abdomen guard just in case) .It was also tough not to “ROFALOL” or “LOL” when he clenched his fists tightly and shaking his head with a cringed ,twisted and scorned look shrieked “Arhhaaaaiyaaaa”(That’s got to be Piles or is that Bruce Lee style).Things were fine until the Kid decided to show off his latest little ‘gyan’ about Kung Fu. Ahaan kiddo !! That’s not gonna happen!! And I slumped back into my chair much to the disappointment of all.
After the action comes the music and songs.
And so begins the “Sangeeta kacheri” , devotional singing by my two other cousin sisters as they wailed away song after song in different languages. I love music, as in Bollywood music and Akon ;), at least I understand them, but devotional songs and folk songs are a bit too much for me. I can’t make head or tail of anything in devotional song other than the names of gods which popped up every now and then, and folk songs well they are for the folks not me.
I could let down whatever hair I have and do Head banging to ridiculous noise of heavy metal, I could nod my head to the beats of hip hop and say Yo,Yeah, but what was I expected to do for devotional songs and folks?
As everyone just closed their eyes and put on a bright smile as if oozing with spirituality. I just sat there staring at the fan creaking and rotating slowly as if unsure of its purpose on Earth(like you and me) and not knowing what to do closed my eyes and…well….dozed off.
And much much later, after severe elbowing by my sister, I opened my eyes and got a life long supply of “hmph!! Today’s generation, no value for real music, only MTV” look from my father and a “lazy bugger, couldn’t even listen to my daughter singing” look form my uncles and aunts.
As for others they all looked at me just like the way people did when Saurav Ganguly used to get out at cheap scores ,match after match, a disappointed,”Sucker,You’re good for nothing” look.
Well at least I managed to successfully sleep through all that, you Bloody Insomniacs, its 12.40 AM for Dr.Sri Sri Sri.....Sri Ravishankarji's sake!!

Dedicated to all Losers and those of you who were GOOD AT SOMETHING LONG LONG AGO and now fail to lift their Ass off the Computer Chair.
As for those practising even now , STOP insulting the SPIRT OF YOUTH!!
GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!! ;)
PS: Autobiographies suck and Don't mind the post when inviting me to your Bharatnatyam,Karate or Singing Shows.:)
PPS: Are you just as tired as I am of my ‘Disclaimers’, ’Note’ and ‘PS’???????

On a hot Saturday night....

2008-06-03T00:41:00.000-07:00

It was 1:30 am on a Saturday night.
His parents after a hard days work were in deep sleep. But he was wide awake.
He was sitting in the living room all alone on the couch with his legs crossed and staring at the flickering TV screen. With great difficulty he had tuned the Channel. He was starting to get addicted to this stuff. Though his friends used to regularly watch and talk about it in school, he wasn’t much interested in watching them. But things changed and may be for his own satisfaction or to keep up with his friends even he started watching them.
Slowly but surely he started getting great pleasures watching those Men and women in action. But these days he was more interested in watching just Women ‘play’ among themselves .He just loved it.
And he continued ogling at those two women, without a blink of an eye. And as things started getting ‘hotter’ he took off his shirt in a jiffy and threw it away not taking his eyes off her. She had grabbed his eyes for sometime now.
Her looks were arresting. Her blonde hair, blue eyes were an added bonus compared to what she was doing in front of him. As she arched her back, her eyes looking up and she moaned “AaaHH”
And the living room was filled with her moans ‘ mmmaah…aahhh hmph aaa arghaa’ and it became louder each time. As it started getting a bit too much he became panicky and started searching for the remote and finally having found it in the middle of cushions ,he fiddled with it to decrease the volume just in time as the other woman screamed “Yeahhh!!”
They had finished, both were sweaty and tired . Disappointed, he changed the channel and switched off the TV and made his way to his bedroom grabbing his shirt.
Damn!! he cursed to himself. He wanted Maria Sharapova to win the Women’s singles Championship in Wimbeldon this time.

Chapter 6: The Baavi!

2008-06-01T09:03:00.000-07:00

The classroom was located on the 2nd floor of the school building. No big deal you would say. But the staggaring heaight at which it seemed to be for a 8th grade kid can't be described especially if that kid has a fear of height.
Next to the building was real huge well.Nobody knew how deep, they didn't want to find it out either. But it was a really wide well.And it was called by everyone as THE BAAVI!!!
Away from the huddle around Sabi's desk was Landu( Abhinandan).He was just sitting there watching the Code breaking saga which was followed by houls of laughter of Pikku and Amari.
He also saw small drops of sweat forming on Sabi's temple and running down his sideburns.
He also saw Dummi's eyes moisten as she looked from the Code and back to Sabi's eyes.
Only she knew what Samosa meant for only she knew that every weekend she and Sabi would meet at the Agarwals Chat to eat Samosa Kachuri, it was her favourite. She LOVED SAMOSA and only Sabi knew it.
Soon the howling and lughter of his friends started intimidating Sabi and he rushed out of the classroom. He couldn't take it anymore.
Nobody cared except Landu as he followed Sabi out matching his footsteps as he tried to keep pace and he reached the edge of the Balcony of the 2nd floor and peered down.
The old dark well was lined with creepers and the water seemed calm but it wouldn't for long.
Something snapped in his head as he srushed back to the classroom as fast as he could run.Out of breath ,he was hardly audiable as he panted out " Sabi....SAbi...SAbi Baavige harbitta!!!!!!!!!".(Sabi jumped into the well)
It took 3 of the longest seconds of Landu's life before anyone could react.
It was Mama's turn to sweat.Dumma was sure it was Appu's heart beat which he was hearing and not his empty stomach.Pallu's vuhuhahahah vanished for the 1st time in half an hour.Cango and Swappu shook their head in dissapointment, There may not be any class at all that day.Nari gulped staring at nothing in particular,he was blank.Amari seemed to reflect what was on Pikku's mind as he said "I think we should jump too, anyways we are going to be hanged.Its Murder!!!".Pikku wanted to argue their chances, they could go to court and blame it on Mama.They rushed out of the room.
Behind them , Thump, thump thump,thump, Dummi came running and over took Pikku which shocked him and he increased his speed but by then they had reached the end of the Balcony!! And all looked down the well.The well of Death.
All that was left were ripples on the surface of the water.
And all looked back at Dummi who seemed to have collapsed on the floor, her palms covering her face and the drops of tears started trickiling down her eyes and wetted her skirt.
Finally she got up and looked down the well.All that was left was ripples of her beloved.
They couldn't belive what had happened.Why did he do that, how could he??As Pikku and Amari contemplated who would jump in 1st.
Suddenly a hand touched Mama's shoulder and pulled him back.
Eh?? En nodta idira elaru" he asked ( What are you guys looking at?)
And all turned back sharply.It was the same nose, the same eyes, the same face.Sabi's face.
"OH MY GOD! GHOST!!!" shrieked Appu
As Congo and swappu started contemplating the impossibility of a Ghost appearing so fast.
He spoke again "En Ghost??Gubaal gala"( What Ghosts? Idiots) and stomped away in his usual style swing his hands at 160 deg. angle.

All Looked at him bewildered, What the HECK??
And thus all the 8 pair of eyes stared back frowning with anger at Landu!!!
All he could manage was a sheepish grin and say "It was just a stone.I thought it would be funny,eh?I guess not" and he sprinted back to the safety of the classroom before he could be trashed by everyone.
As Dummi smiled to herself, Amari couldn't help but wonder how anyone could be so scared as to pee in their skirt a moment ago and then still manage to smile??? Ahh She is such a weirdo!!!

Mama could smell the Samosa as he narrated the Baavi story to Abhishek who was trying to remove a old Ferrari sticker from the box.

Note : Sorry for so many Dreams and Flashbacks.Nothing worth writing happening these days!!

Chapter 5: The Tale of a Pencil Box

2008-05-31T08:02:00.000-07:00

On the dusted old shelf was an old rusted pencil box.And it cought the eyes of Sheki who was on his way to bathroom( he was in an unusual hurry).Coming out he took the box which he vivdly remembered stealing an eraser from.
Back to the living room he sat amongst others and painfully tried to open the rusted box.After much try it gave way and it opened.It cought Mama’s eye.And the memories of it came flooding back to Sabi.
Years back it was the very same box from which Mama revealed a really big secret and the way he revealed he was a sure shot detective in the making.
It was Lunch break and it was the time when Sabi used to gobble up his lunch fast, along with Bendhu(Shubendu) and head out to play the additional 25 minutes.
Nobody knew how it all began but just as he left half a dozen guys and gals in their sweaty uniforms huddled arouthe box.It was a regular pencil box with a soft sponge sheet to give bedding to the pencils and pens.But there was no eraser in the lot as Sabi was really pissed off at the growing number of eraser thefts, he stopped bringing it altogether.
But who cared if he brought an eraser or not.
What laid beneath the sponge covering was what mattered.
And then Mama ever so cautiously and gingerly removed all the pens and pencils one by one.
And all waited with bated heart as Mama slowly opened the sponge layer.
What they saw inside did not make sense to anyone. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!! SABI HAS GONE NUTS!!! Was the first reactions. Nari(Nihar) started running his brilliant cunning brain but even it could not come up with anything reasonable to describe what was in front of their eyes. No it was not a picture of alien chik in bed.
Scribbled badly with a ball pen with great difficulty on floor of the metallic box was a CODE!!
Now not even the smartest 7th grade kid will have it easy cracking this CODE with series of random numbers!!
All hated Maths and this thing was all numbers.All started concentrating hard.Nari staring intently at the digits as if trying to hypnotise them and make them speak out their true meaning, pallu giggling vuhuhahaha in an attempt to make the digits LOL and tell the meaning( reverse phschology you see ;)) and appu shaking her head sideways left, right and her hair neatly tied in two plaits ,which were flying and swinging in every direction and hitting Dumma(Sanith) all over his face( I cant tell you what was going on in his head). But none were smart enough, not even the reliable Swappu(swaroop) or the intelligent Cango(kumar), while Amari(Amarnath) and pikku were seriously pissed off that sabi had finished off lunch before them and so would have an advantage in the game( will be revealed later) and so were just waiting like hungry vultures for someone else to break the CODE so that get right back at Sabi!!
As the time ticked and with no breaktrough the gals were beginning to panic which evident by increased giggling of pallu and appu who was smiling and increasing the speed of shaking her head resulting in more smacks on Dumma’s face.
And the woes only escalated with the arrival of Dummi( Sanjana, No she has got nothing to do with Dumma :P )
As she came through the door and noticed the huddle, her instincts smelled something, GOSSIP ,she loved it and headed their way to get into action.
Thump thump ,her footsteps reached Mama’s ear and he looked at her. There was strong rumours of Sabi having a crush on her so he looked back at the code.
And then as Sanjana alias Dummi made her way and pushed poor pikku and amari aside to get a better look which angered Amari no end and he tightened his grip on one of Sabi’s pen ready to poke her but Pikku grabbed back the pen and said in a stern voice “Dude, You’ll break the pen!!” And they somehow managed to get back into huddle.
As mama concentrated hard ,Pikku and Amari ran out of patience, nari started looking out at the door to fore warn arrival of Sabi, Pallu giggled on,Swapu and Cango started adding,subtracting,dividing and multiplying in order to get anything sensible,Appu continued shaking her head and swing her hairs and Dumma continued getting smacked on his face by her plaits( he hated the oil in her hairs, otherwise he was fine) and just sat listening to her heartbeat which he later realized was his stomach groaning as he had left his lunch midway.
And finally the hard work payed off as Mama proclaimed “I cracked it!! Each number stands for a letter, I saw this code in the newspaper last week”. He took the pen from Pikku’s hand and tore out a sheet of paper from Sabi’s book and wrote down all the letters in English on one side and alpbhabets next to them.
A-1
B-2
C-3
.
.
.
Z-26
He scribbled the Code below it as Pikku,Amari,Nari,Swappu,Congo,Dumma,Appu,Pallu and Dummi(who had no clue what was happening) looked on waiting…

9 - 12 15 22 5 - 19 1 13 15 19 1

And Mama began

9=I

12 15 22 5 = L o v e!!! Yeah….. Muhuhahaa!! Mama knew what was coming!!

They all knew what was coming, they just knew it,It got to be her, they knew it, Appu and Pallu couldn’t wait to see Dummi's face, Nari and Dumma couldn’t wait to spread the word, Pikku and Amari’s smart brains started scheming how to make Sabi’s day miserable, Mama was already proud to be the Decetive in the making,as for Swappu and Congo, they couldn’t wait for the class to begin!!

19 1 13 15 19 1 = S A … " N J A...Yeah Yeah its her.. " they crooned. But Mama was the 1st one to notice that something was terribly wrong.

The code translated into "I L O V E S A M O S A"

Damn! Damn! Fuck! Shit!! They cried in disappointment as Sabi came back to class after having a tough match of “POLE to POLE”( evovled from TREE to TREE and its a very tough game ,trust me :P!) and was surprised to see all the crownd around his desk.
And Pikku and Amari started laughing and teasing “You love Samosa... You love Samosa…hahahahaa”
And Sabi shrieked “Arghaaa…!!!!!!!!!!” and he was as red as a tomato.
Now back in Sabi’s drawing room he grabbed the box and 3 pairs of strong hands grabbed it back and all had a good look at the smudged and fading ‘code’ etched out on Sabi’s Pencil Box some 7 years back may be for the last time......

To be continued........

Disclaimer: I can't stress how fictional this is. Parental guidance advised for use of abusive languages! Crap!!

Chapter 4 :A B Sheki from Mumbai,Mind IT!!

2008-05-23T23:14:00.000-07:00

Kill them!! Kill them!! Yeah!!Yuhoo!!And all danced like Tribals in a remote island of Andamans.
This was no scene of US soldiers in Iraq or Power hungry goons in civil war torn Nigeria.
This is what some of the best brains did while playing DOTA or War Games sitting in their dark and dirty hostel which was disturbingly named “Gajagamini”, in NITK Surathkal.
And miles away from all the action Sheki just couldn’t resist the temptation to go ‘Ratattaaaa’ on the keyboard as he looked closely at the invading alien like army ( He also missed the small mouse in his room which loved his socks). Seriously disturbed by the “Hey shona” song which he was forcefully made to play in the background, Sheki lost the 3rd straight game, this just wasn’t his day and he closed the laptop and mocked throwing it away much to despair of Sabi.
He had big plans for the 3 days of holidays he was spending in Mysore instead of at his home in Mumbai( bugger!! swictches loyalities like he changes cities, Fan of Mumbai Indians, Not that we support RC!!) . But like most plans it was showing signs of flopping .All he had done in the last 12 hours 36 minutes 12 seconds of his stay in Mysore was drink 4 glasses of coke, eat 3 chips(exactly, Mama didn’t believe in sharing equally in matters of food) ,browse through some useless Chinese website to get the key gen of a latest antivirus, getting pissed at Pikku for reminding everyone of Lobo(she is his classmate) and hearing all sorts of true and cooked up stories about him and her that they came to know from his arch nemesis Congo who was in the same hostel and class and reassuring everyone for the 563rd time that she had ditched him long back( Coz he sucked at dancing with her, actually he sucked at dancing alone too) and sleeping in this favorite Blue t-shirt with a Mermaid on it which said “ I am an amphibian” which more or less explained the drowning sensation he felt whenever in the presence of gals and still managing to survive and live another day. All the Marijuana and the clean Vodka’s couldn’t help to maintain the same confidence which he felt on the pixels of his computer screen as he would often be heard yelling “ Don’t take advantage of me!!!!” whenever stoned with Vodka, in other words, he felt more insecure when drunk!!
So in order to make his long journey in a AC bus(the bearded guy next to him did look like Osama) worthwhile he asked Sabi(the official Manager of the Gang) to arrange a small reunion of all school friends who are now in Mysore( Most would be as it was Holidays)
Though he often claims to be pissed off by all the Gossip ,deep down he just loved it and what better way then a reunion to get all the news and gossip to make his day and in any case Reunion meant Gals and he never complained when it came to Gals, more the merrier!!!
But the best part was, he would get to meet her,see her . It was all worth it!!!
He just loved the ignorance that the other guys were living in about his 1st crush in school. He was happy Pikku had no clue who she was, let him talk about the stupid Lobo for the rest of his life!!
Ha!! He breathed out in relief! (regretted it soon and walked to bathroom to brush his teeth!!)

Disclaimer:This is very Fictional,in fact this is the height of Fiction!!

Chapter 3: Mamaa Miaaa

2008-05-23T06:54:00.000-07:00

Arun Ghostrided himself, he was right about his friends believing his lame excuse, but not when it came to Mama.
After all Mama unlike others was the most experienced when it came to matters of Love.
He was been there done that (wrongly, very wrongly) guy in matters of love. After all, it all really began with him.
Just imagine what would happen to Devdas if he chose to stuff himself with food instead of Alcohol!!
Probably Mama is what you would end up with!! As he himself says, she is the only one he ever loved (more than food i.e.).
From just admiring her, trying to talk to her, running away from her on Raksha bandhan day to proposing her in the presence of one and all, he had done it all!!
Taking advice from his loser friends he really didn’t manage to succeed in wooing her.
But he never stopped thinking about her while listening to RHTDM or Aryaa( ‘Feel my love’ plays even now….even his computer speakers are tired of it). He was the guy who truly loved.
But as days passed and as she had moved on, quite far( not geographically), may be too far and time had come for him to move on too.
Flashback.
On Jan 1st 2008
He was on his way back after having a plate of awesome Gobi from his favorite stall(any stall which has food is his favorite actually). He had this really tough internals the next day. He wanted to study, he had to, but day dreaming about her didn’t help matters.
Walking on the muddy footpath, he decided to have a new year resolution, in fact two resolutions,
1) I need to cut down on eating outside (that was achievable, considering the PEER pressure these days ;) ).
2) Forget her once and for all, there was no other way( ummm….thats…well….ummmm….NO COMMENTS)!!!
Yeah he knew he could do it. He promised himself so and walked on towards his house. “I need to concentrate on other things, from this moment on, I will no longer think about her or Gobi” he mentally repeated those words.
As he approached the junction where the roads from different directions met……., “If only I could meet her” he thought and immediately snapped his head, he had to keep his mind off her, reminding of the promise he made to himself 2 seconds ago.
He first looked right then left then right again just like he had been doing since childhood as he was thought to do every time before crossing the road.
And as he looked right, the one last time. It happened. His heart skipped a beat.( No it was not the choelstrol) There came a blue Scooty pep ,it was coming very slowly, with the right side indicator still beeping, may be she forgot to switch it off. There she was in front of him. Just 5 seconds after he had made a resolution to forget her.( Ya Life eijj Haard!!)
And she slowly came near him but she didn’t look at him, it was difficult to tell, her eyes behind those dark driving shades contrast to her fair skin, she looked like an angel out of a fairy tale.( well an angel with a white stick, if u ask me, those dark shades are for the blind !!!)
He wanted to wave to her, but like always he couldn’t. But why wasn’t she even looking he wondered, after all you can’t miss someone as big (he did have another 2 plates of Gobi , which was not mention earlier), but she did not, she didn’t seem to care!
As she zoomed past, her loose hair flying and waving behind, her delicate but firm hands on the accelerator .And then she slows down (her hairs fighting to maintain the zero gravity they were enjoying) , for a split second it seemed as though she had see him, but it was just the hump, as she carefully drove over it, as if not to hurt the hump.
Standing at the edge of the road he just couldn’t take his eyes off her( same was the case with the guy who was frying dry gobies),his mouth open, his heart wildly pumping as he kept looking at her till she disappeared.( Actually he had forgotten his glasses at home so it kind of looked as if she disappeared.) Screw the Promise. He was in love all over again!!
Even God wasn’t willing to let this love story get over so easily!!
Then out of the blue,
THUD!!!!!!!
He was hit!!

Actually it was just Sheki in blue T shirt(it had a Mermaid on it!! Dude, WTF!!), as he back slapped him again , “Now what the hell are you day dreaming about?? “, he asked.
Mama could only smile as he grabbed the pack of chips from Pikku( That’s me, That’s me!! I am there in the story too…yuhooo!!! :P) and continued munching the chilly and spicy Potato chips!! Yummy!! ;)

Chapter 2: Arun speaks

2008-05-22T02:10:00.000-07:00

This is the part 2 of the previous post i.e. “In sabi’s dream” .The following event take place right after Sabi wakes up!

It was 10:05 on the grandfather clock that was ticking on the wall as they surrounded Sabi to listen to his story( Children listen to tales before going to sleep ,but we do it when we wake up) .
As Sabi started explaining in detail the dream , everyone giggled( that’s so girlie) followed up with laughter. But I wasn’t in a mood to giggle, I just smiled. Something tugged at my heart as I
heard Sabi. It made me wonder about her, what could she be doing?? I just wanted to be with her.
But here I was stuck with these great but stupid friends,
Pikku ,who would do nothing else other than writing stupid blogs and expect me to read and comment on them every 2nd day. I rather read read my F**kin textbooks !!!!
Mama, who had just woke 10 minutes ago and was savoring a pack of potato chips!!! I am just amazed by Mama’s appetite, shocking because I am hardly overweight and on top of that I do dieting!!
Sabi , he didn’t know who Salma Hayek was!! Who the F*ck doesn’t know Salma Hayek?!How is that even possible??
Sheki , should have been called pshychi ,who addresses himself as “hum” as if he is the Maharaja of Bengal!!Duh!
But Alas!! I was stuck here with these Morons, but strangely I love to be with them, they are my best buddies afteral!!
But today I just wanted to get away, meet X, be with her!! And started thinking of an excuse to get away.
But then I remembered that X was going out with that other guy, the stud, from the college.
“Fuck!!Fuck!!Fuck!!” I cursed more to myself at my rotten luck!!
I still remembered the 1st day at college, X was sitting on the next bench and I kept peeping to get a better look at her.And I kept doing that,couldn't help it. But sitting next to her was the bespectacled gal Y who used to respond to my stares from behind her dark solaroid glasses instead of X. Boy! Did that piss me off, but somehow surprisingly our relationship grew ( i.e. me and Y) from long stares to Hi to Honey!!!
So now I started thinking about Y, all the time I had spent with her, the things I had lovingly gifted her and her rotten choice!! As she had now started going out with another guy who is as fit as an old gorilla and good enough to sell groundnuts in a railway station. She deserved someone better not the Jackass that Groundnut seller was.
All I could do was shake my head and sigh at my f*cked up luck as I fiddled with my brand new swanky iPhone.
And as though she had heard me,the iPhone beeped, it was an sms from Y and it read “cum home honey, wanna talk to you. I just hate him :( :x ”(him is Groundnut seller).Well what was that supposed to mean? She hated him, great,now does that mean she loves me?? What the heck? Its a start!!
Ah I was elated!! The smile was back on my face as I sped away on my bike,my smart head had come up with a wonderful excuse as I had told everyone that I had to drop my father to the railway station and would be back later!! I knew they would bite it; I wasn’t really a Moran after all!! ;) Muhuhahaha!!
And I drove along at top speed on the Double Road imagining myself to be the Ghostrider(guy with a flaming skull and bike). A few flames here and there would do the trick.But flame on my hairs was certainly not aaceptable, those are my precicous little HAIRS!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“This is a Fictional story any reference or resemblance to people Laughing or Angry is purely coincidence, No Offence to anyone!!!”
This is first person P.O.V!!
For those who don't know ,take X and Y as unknown mathematical terms! No sweat!;)

Chapter 1: In Sabi's dream

2008-05-21T00:45:00.000-07:00

He was just sitting on his bike listening to his fav. song “hey shona”(from Tararumpum) on his iPod under the cool shade of a tree near the parking lot waiting for his friends to come out of the exam hall. He was the first one out.
"Listening to ‘hey shona’ again??" she asked.

She looked just as pretty in her uniform as she did at other times and she made his heart beat the same way as he looked at her and nodded.

"Swalpa jaaga kodo,naanu koothkotini" she asked (and sat behind him on his bike).
As the crowd of studious moronic students slowly started trickling out of the building, discussing their answers and all had to forcefully get back to their discussing as no one could take their eyes off her. Many didn’t even know her name and code named her ‘figure’ and him as ‘Lucky Bastard’. As she sat near him,he could smell her perfume inspite of his blocked nose. He knew she would be the one if there ever was a female version of AXE spray.

"You always listen to this song. Don’t you?" She asked and gently removed a earphone from his ears and put it into hers and started humming the lines. Just like he always imagined.

"Yeah,always. My friends have got cooked up listening to it". Desperately wanting to impress her, he said “My bike says it’s feeling really good". He knew he could have said something more stupid and cliché than that!

She made a face as if she didn’t get it. He smiled and replied "Well, if someone as pretty as you is seated on it, who wouldn’t feel good?"

She was surprised and laughed aloud. And turned to him, smiled and then crooned “eh Sabi yeddelooo". Hearing her speak kannada in gruff voice was all contrast to her usual sweet voice.

"Eai Sabi....yeddelo saaku!!" Eh? What the hell?. He shuddered and remained speechless looking really confused at her beautiful eyes, snaps of which he had stored secretly in his laptop.

Then she got down from his bike and started shaking him and even more gruffly yelling “yeddeloo sabi”, she had never called him Sabi before, how did she know??
And slowly she blurred out, but the shaking and voices continued as his friends tried desperately to wake him up.”Yeddelo jackass” said ‘kinda arun’(aka Moran alias Arun) .
He wanted to strangle them, Kick them...but hopelessly he could do none. It was 10 AM on a Sunday morning, they all had a night out in his place the previous night.

P.S: this is a mix of Fact and Fiction. So gals if you were dissapointed that sabi is dreamin about some one else, don't worry you still got chance!!
If you don't know sabi, dont worry, its ok!!

tagged

2008-05-17T05:37:00.000-07:00

I Tag self!!

1. Were you named after anyone?
Yes. God himself ;)!

2. Do you wish on stars?
Can we?? Sure thing tonight!

3. When did you last cry?
At the terrible marks in PU. Long time ago,things have worsened now :P

4. Do you like your handwriting?
Ya but no else except me does.

5. What is your favorite meat?
Shaantam Papam. I am a veg :)

6. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf?
Useless bunch of outdated CDs given by NIIT.

7. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?
YEAH!!!

8.Are you a daredevil?
Nah. But I had a cycle by the name Devil and it was daring too.

9. How do you release anger?
Putting on a Sarcastic expression.

10. Where is your second home?
My Grandpa’s home in Coorg.

11. Do you trust others easily?
Ya I do.

12. What was your favorite toy as a child?
My Cycle and other Kids, Vodoo !!Me the Monster Kid Muhauahaha.

13. What class in school/college do you think is totally useless?
Classes from 9 AM to 3 PM.

14. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Ya I do but no one makes out though :P

15. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
Eh? WTF is that??

16.What do you look for in a guy/(gal)?
Attitude ,sense of humor and many other things ;)

17. Would you bungee jump?
Never!! What if my body splits in 2 ,upper down and lower up?

18. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
I only untie them when I wear the shoes and tie them back ofcourse

19.what's your favorite ice cream?
Vanila.

20. What are your favorite colors?
Blue and Black.

21. What are your least favorite things?
Any boring and non creative work is my least favorite.

22. How many people do you have a crush on right now?
Ummm….counting….counting…counting….but ya many have crush on me :P

23. Who do you miss most right now?
Many stuff you do in childhood.

24. What are you listening to right now?
Songs, the hammering sound from the neighbourhood.

25. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
I don’t want to be crayon.Talk of wax model

26. What is the weather like right now?
Hott.

27. Last person you talked to on the phone?
My friend and ‘tution teacher’ Jayanth;)

28. The "first" thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Eyes. Next is Smile. Next is ….

29. How are you today?
As usual Unusual.

30. Favorite non alcoholic drink?
Fruit Juice. I like Mango,Bannana milkshake or Watermelon.

31. Favorite alcoholic drink?
Tea coffee ??

32. Natural hair color?
Black.

33. Eye color?
Black.

34. Wear contacts?
Nope. But I have many contacts :P

35. Siblings?
A dangerous elder sister.

36. Favorite month?
April, everyone likes it.

37.Favorite food?
North Indian, curd rice ;)

38. Favorite day of the year?
April 16.My b’day.

39. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out?
Yes. In fact I am very shy to ask anyone out

40. Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy Endings for Scary movies. Scary movies are funny actually.

41. Summer or winter?
Winter. Not that it matters here in Mysore.

42. Holi or Diwali?
Holi

43. Do you like your name?
Hmmm...yaa…..

44. What book/magazine are you reading?
Finished 3 Mistakes of my life , now reading Electronics notes.

45. What's on your mouse pad?
Cup of tea, and mouse just hit it and it spilled all over my keyboard which got short circuited….blah blah blah..

46. What did you watch on TV last night?
Jo jeeta wohi superstar on Star.

47. Favorite Smell?
Smell is smelly.Aroma is good ;)

48. Have you ever regretted breaking up with someone?
Nope. Coz the getting together thing itself never happened

49. Most tiresome thing you’ve ever experienced/done?
Answering this tag.

50.Who do you tag next?
I Tag Jayanth,Vivek,Abhinav,Abhishek,Bharath
Rini

of Bond,Don,IPL and Goodtimes

2008-05-15T22:14:00.000-07:00

In a posh Club House in a remote corner of Mysore. As revelers from around the world had gathered to celebrate the 1st and the only victory in the IPL of the Vijay Mallya owned team The Royal Challengers .
“Aree devaanoon mujhe pehchaanon…kahan se ayaa …main hoon Bond, James Bond”.
Said the guy in a expensive velvet black Tuxedo with his arms spread out as he entered the ball room.
All the guys and the gals in the room looked up at him, the gals kept looking a little longer, they couldn’t help it. His masculine body, his broad shoulders, clean shaven face, with deep blue eyes was just irresistible as they swooned around him. As the music began in the ball room.
“Duniyaan mein logoon ne...”and the Bond sang along. As he and the gals swooned and danced. As for the guys, including the Mr. Mallya who wore a pissed off look for most of the IPL finally had this sense of deep relief after winning a match started checking out the skimpily dressed cheer gals he bought all the way from US, dance around this guy Mr.Bond(who was newly signed by MR.Mallya as RC's new Brand Ambassodor) saying “ huttidaree kannada nadali hutta beku, madve adare James Bond ne agabeku”.(If ur born u shud do so in Karnataka,If u wanna get married,you shud marry JAmes bond)
But Good Times don’t last long. The music stopped( much to relief of Mr.Mallya who was starting to get his “pissed off look” back)as abruptly as the arrival of Bond himself.
Caught up in the middle of a really difficult dance steps some of the cheer gals lost balance and fell, as the angry Bond looked the for the source to this untoward incident.
And then there arrived another guy in a better tuxedo , he was brawn, his black shades covered his otherwise sharp brown eyes as he walked in with petty gals dressed in their golden but stupid looking helmet on their heads clinging to him by the side .He gave a naughty dimpled smile to the cheer gals who had fell down and took out his gun which had an attached silencer, took a aim at the ‘Bhang drunk’ James Bond .’shhhDiskaaavoonsshh ’a muffled bullet was fired and it hit Bond squarely on the chest as he fell down with a thud.
And as the gals shrieked and ran to corners and hid behind the brooding but fat enough to cover their ass Mr.Mallya, the guy with pretty gals wearing helmets swinged his gun and brings it closer to his lips and blows the smoke coming out from the gun’s nozzel.
And then with the same naughty dimpled smile ,he proclaims, “Name is d…d…d..Don, simply…. d..d…d…Don!! Saale mera line copy karta hein huh Bondi??”
And the gals go weak in their knees again and start swooning around him.
And the music begins again….this time in bengali ..”Korbo lorbo jeethbo ree….All the Kings men we rule!!”
And Mr. Mallya is pissed off again as he yelled out at the new Team Manager Mr.Patel ,"Who the Hell invited this guy???”. As Mr. Patel meekly replied “Sir, due to falling popularity of our team we signed him as our Brand Ambassador aswell and named him King of GoodTimes!!!"
And thus Mr.Mallya fired Mr.Patel too claiming he was kept out of it and had no role in selecting the Brand Amassodors too to the media!!

3 mistakes of my life- Review

2008-05-15T09:26:00.000-07:00

Stop readin this stupid review and catch the book!!
Funny,witty,dark, 95 Rs what more can you ask for??
3 stars for 3 mistakes and 1 for Chetan bhagat
My Ratings(making it sound like a film critc) - 4/5

And if you didn't make sense of who is chetan Bhagat or whats 3 mistakes, Nevermind, Duh!!

when Devdas Raps

2008-05-13T10:23:00.000-07:00

Devdas :Ahem Ahem
I dont know what to write,
Not coz am not that bright
but just am not so tight!!;)

I wonder what to post after days,
My imaginations are gone without a trace,
all the alchohol and 'sharaab' are a waste!!

Paaro: Waah Waah Subaan allah!!! :D

Crowd: Once more!!*Hoot* *Hoot*

You: Arghaaaaa.....NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Devdas: Muhuhahahahaaa( his Trademark Evil Laugh )

Ahem Ahem....(and he goes on)

College Chronicles

2008-05-10T02:02:00.000-07:00

Beigining of sem and in some cases throughout the sem
Question: What class do we have next hour?
Assured replies:
1. I don't know.
2. What difference does it make? nan antu malko tini( Ill Sleep anyways).
3. Well, Iam hungry.
4. Eh? Yaake?(Why)
5. I don't know.Class ge hogtidya??(Going to class?)
6. No idea, is there attendance?
7. Loo. I got IPod (with some videos ;)). We can share the earphone.
8. hehe, good one.

Somewher in middle comes the internals/unit test:
Question: How did you do?
Common reply: Who gives a fuc*? Its only Internals.

At the time of end-sem exam.
Question: How did you do?
Majority replies:
1. I got screwed.
2. I got f***ed.
3. I'm surely getting kicked
5. This university sucks, they're screwing us.
6. And more Desi guys will be like "Hodskotu macha","All clean Gaurentee","Bido eno
aitu,nindu?As for gals they will be more secretive and usually depends on their friends opinion." oh nandu chanagaitu"(mine was good too) or "hoon kane nadu hoitu"( ya mine went down too) depending on who they tallking with.

Completely unacceptable reply: [Don't try this at home or in college ;)]
Fuc*in' awesome sisya/machi!!! FCD for sure this time!!! (you'll probably be dead by the time you finish this sentence,coz you're surrounded by pissed off students who've just come out of the exam hall)

Apart from these,College Students:

Can only talk about or go to Movies,have complete 'knowledge' of Celebs,Play Games on XBox or PS3 and not on TV video games(thats like being in 20,000 BC according to my friend),Have a IPhone/pod/touch, interested in gals/guys,will know the best place to eat,drink.
Nothing is unhealthy as long as its edible,unless your are on 'diet'.A bottle of mineral water cost more than bottle of Coke/pepsi nevermind the quantity.Caffeine is way of life.
Lastly we got no clue who the Vice President of India is !

the conversation

2008-05-07T01:37:00.000-07:00

JAADU:Buzz! Buzz
Me: Stop doing that!! Its irritating...
JAADU:yeah i know, i just wanted to get ur attention. u have a big decision to make today.
Me:how big?
JAADU:"Change you for better’ kinda big
Me: eh? And who are you? you are from ‘ Koi mil gaya’ aren’t u?
JAADU:well im not human. im another species from a different galaxy on a mission to earth
Me:stop flattering urself.. and im no Hrithik roashan.
JAADU:ok, just let ur cynicism hang for a bit and listen to me.. i cant stress enough on how important this is
Me:alright, u got my attention.. for now. What is it?
JAADU:i say, you have to answer me one question and on that answer rests the your fate
Me: wow! talk about pressure! go on, shoot
JAADU:is what you want to be in life, so different from your ancestors?
Me:WTF! i dont even understand ur question
JAADU:what i mean is, do u think you are ready to take the next step in life?
Me: why do u want to know? and how is it going to change me?
JAADU:i want to know bcos that is my mission. i have to ask u this question and based on ur answer i take my action
Me:tell me all ur possible actions
JAADU:if u say u do believe in yourself and you agree you need to change then i help u.. if not, i terminate myself and let u be.
Me:why me? why now?
JAADU:u were the chosen one bcos of ur personality and understanding of the human mind. Your stupidity and pj cracking skills helped too.
Me:oh i see.yeah am good at those things..Yo!!..Btw u didnt answer, why now?
JAADU:it is the right time now bcos its the month of may.
Me: May? Whats that got to do with anything...all i can think of is my exam!
JAADU:yup.thank god you remembered that.
JAADU:btw - last time we were here, we gave one of the the apes "curiosity".. and practically set evolution of humans in motion.. u better believe that too.
Me:wow! so what r u going to do this time, if i answer yes?
JAADU:what do u think?
Me:how the heck should i know? u r the advanced species.. tell me what u do?
JAADU:i know what i have to do.. i have my orders.. first, i would like to hear what u think
Me:so many things have to change at so many levels.. the answer might be simple but it is definitely not easy
JAADU:ok, fair enough.. just give me a yes or no..
Me: yes,things need to change
JAADU: hmm, Good that you agreed, and here is how you change yourself for good its a simple 3 step process .
1st step: wake up, get your big head off the keyboard
2nd step: and sign off from Yahoo!!!
3rd step : This is the month of may, the month of Exam, your end sem Exam so.... study for your exam!!
Me: Argghhaa.... I just took a break and a short nap!!!
JAADU : yeah rite, your break lasted long, way longer and keyboard ain’t a place to take ur naps!!You lazy bugger .
Me: ok k k …but you were sweeter in the movie!!
JADOO : one more thing, I have no idea what that “ om om om om” means, tell that Roshan guy!!!

mr & mrs

2008-05-07T00:12:00.000-07:00

Mr. - Mrs.
He - She
Hero - Heroine
Male - Female

Boy - Girl

guy : Haha Boys are independent!!
gal : So are girls.humph!*false anger *
guy : Err sorry,sorry,chorrie.....sweety!
gal : *blushing* hmmm saaku saaku :)( enough enough )

And thats independence??? *sigh*

on a Sunday morning..

2008-05-04T00:11:00.000-07:00

The summer Sun has just raised over the horizon,
Spreadin in and around, its beautiful golden light,
Its a beautiful day.
Its neither hot like the afternoons,
nor is it rainy like the night before.
Patches of smoky white clouds
dot the brilliant golden sky,
as birds of feather fly past them.
Men and beautiful women walk, run and jog,
with their pet dogs,children(usually obese) and some times mad dogs behind.
Little birds with unlucky worm in their legs cripping on plant,
and bigger birds cawing on the electric wires( grasing the neighbouring Uncles and Aunts with their morning crap)
Your mother waters the gardens,while
your father checks the morning news with a masala Chai.
Its a perfect Sunday morning...

As for you,don't you just Love going back to sleeep on days like this!!!;)

ahhaa Nirvana!!
*ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZ*

Jab We Met

2008-04-26T02:45:00.000-07:00

Note: This is NOT a Love Story!!

Ah Saturday!!
The day I had planned to do something[ya something coz I dont do much other days ;)]
And then I get a call from my friend SABI[thats abhinav].
Me: Heloo [In my Voice...Anybody know how my voice sounds like?? ;)]
Sabi: Eh helo..nanu abhinav.CCD ge baa .
Me: yaake?
sabi: Nari ela bandidane,10 mins ali il iru,just 1 hour aste!
Me:...
Sabi:....[I Forgot what we talkedked]
Me: ok!
So I go to CCD,having no idea what to do there as I dont contribute much to any Group actitivity,not even talking!!![And these friends of mine talk about how I dont Talk,isn't that Cool :P]
Aah I came so fast in 10 mins,but still I was the last guy.
Seated were my school mates all the B section,well not all but almost,well not exactly, nevermind!!
Mama[Preetham] who was drinking something [thats the only other thing he does other than eating],
Nari[Nihar] who was sitting silently[ is He giving me competion or was he BLANK due to some reason ;)??],
And his friend Raj[NO NICK NAME AVAILABLE;How about Chiminey? ;)]who was like a indeed like a Chiminey[yaya he smoked the whole pack I guess]
and then there was Dumma[ Sanith...he was dumma Once Upon a Time] the buzy guy![Who didn't smoke,I wonder why ]
and Sabi who wanted me to give him a song that was playing there at the lowest of volumes by tonight.[He didn't even know the name of the song,me neither]
And Lipi[name which doesn't need a shorter version] the Architect[Wondering about the plan of the building eh??], and Pari [Parineeta who was like " Who are these people??:].And Pallu[Pallavi who was quite asusual and suddenly bursts out "VOO HOOOOOOOO HAhaha ":D]
and then there was Appu[Aparna who escaped from jail[Nick name of her coll] and was curious why I wasn't talking!! ]
All this while Mama drank a MIXED[yet edible] drink[which tasted better than what it did previously] and narrated his now famous "CUBS STORY" and the Best Dialog of that story is from his school days sweetheart which went something like this;
"SO WHAT? EVEN I HAVE A BOYFRIEND" and Mama being the guy with fighting spirt proclaimed "even I HAVE BOYFRIENDSSS"[:D]!!

And then there was a BREAKING NEWS: NARI HAS TURNED NON-VEG,Alchoholic,Drug addict & Chain Smoker!!
[Eh No just kidding :P but he did turn NON VEG,well thats good in a way he will have some MUSKLES to lift is Karizma now].
And then it was time to bid farewell!
Sabi promised the gals he will meet them soon, may be to invite all to his GFs wedding[With someone else].
And the guys left,while the gals stayed back as they had to catch up on everything[after all they had met after ages,they had forgotten each other faces :P]
Though all complained I was not talking,but all these people did was just stare at each other and looked boorish and on rare occasions "VooOo HOooO HAHAahehehe.."[ya it was her again]!!
But nonetheless it was fun..Long live 'B' section,B for Best; and also Nari's two friends one of whom was missing!!
Well Iceing on the Cake[... well...] was a superb Lunch at Mama's place[Food and Mama are made for each other]
Fun: Mama's story and pallu's VOOOOHOOHEHEHHAHAA.
Missed: Moran[Arun],which did raise a few eyebrows[How could u miss macha :P]
Bad: Was very hot![the temperature..Dont make wild guesses] Mama used all the Bills to keep himself cool,but those bills were giving Nari all the Hots[You can make wild guesses now :P].

AdWars Effect of Adwatch

2008-04-25T22:31:00.000-07:00

I love Fights,
I just love watching Fights,
I love watching two guys Fight it out in the middle of the road,
I love watching gals Fight[bitch] on Roadies[and thats not the only reason I watch Roadies OKEY!!]
I love 'em all[As long as Iam not involved,that includes hitting or being HIT]!!;)
and
I love Ads,
I just love watching Ads,
I love watching to brands fight it out in Ads,
I love watching gals in Ads[Okey Relax now!]
I love 'em all[ And I will never be in a Ad ,I know]!!!

And so quite obviously I LOVEDDDD this :D

B'day "Bums"

2008-04-15T00:28:00.000-07:00

145,830 People

Natural disasters in 1989

* Hurricane Hugo
* Loma Prieta earthquake
* 1989 Newcastle earthquake

People who died on April 16 (various years)

* 2007 - G. V. Loganathan, Hindu American professor of Civil and Environmental Engineering
* 2007 - Liviu Librescu, American Jewish-Romanian professor of Engineering Science and Mechanics
* 2007 - Kevin Granata, American professor of Engineering
* 2007 - Jocelyne Couture-Nowak, American instructor of French
* See List of victims of the Virginia Tech massacre for the complete list 2007 - Seung-Hui Cho, Korean American murderer
* 2007 - Maria Lenk, Brazilian swimmer and first Brazilian woman to compete in the Olympic Games
* 2007 - Gaetan Duchesne, Canadian hockey player
* 2006 - Francisco Adam, Portuguese actor and model
* 2005 - Marla Ruzicka, American humanitarian worker and peace activist
* 2005 - Kay Walsh, British actress
* 2003 - Graham Stuart Thomas, English author and garden designer
* 2002 - Robert Urich, American actor
* 2002 - Ruth Fertel, American restaurateur
* 2001 - Alec Stock, English football manager
* 2001 - Michael Ritchie, American film director
* 1999 - Skip Spence, Canadian-born guitarist, singer and songwriter (Jefferson Airplane)
* 1998 - Alberto Calderón, Argentine mathematician
* 1998 - Fred Davis, English snooker player
* 1997 - Roland Topor, French illustrator
* 1997 - Doris Angleton, American socialite
* 1996 - Stavros Niarchos, Greek shipping tycoon
* 1995 - Iqbal Masih, Pakistani child slave labourer, activist
* 1994 - Ralph Ellison, American writer
* 1992 - Neville Brand, American actor
* 1991 - David Lean, British film director
* 1985 - Scott Brady, American actor
* 1978 - Lucius Clay, American general
* 1972 - Kawabata Yasunari, Japanese writer, Nobel Prize laureate
* 1970 - Richard Neutra, American architect
* 1968 - Edna Ferber, American author
* 1958 - Rosalind Franklin, British chemist
* 1947 - Rudolf Hoess, commandant of the Auschwitz concentration camp
* 1946 - Arthur Chevrolet, Swiss-born race car driver and automobile designer
* 1938 - Steve Bloomer, English footballer
* 1930 - José Carlos Mariátegui, Peruvian journalist, political philosopher and activist
* 1928 - Henry Birks, Canadian businessman, founder of Henri Birks and Sons
* 1915 - Nelson W. Aldrich, American politician
* 1914 - George William Hill, American astronomer
* 1904 - Samuel Smiles, Scottish writer and reformer
* 1904 - Maximilian Kronberger, German poet
* 1888 - Zygmunt Florenty Wróblewski, Polish physicist
* 1879 - Bernadette Soubirous, French shepherd girl
* 1859 - Alexis de Tocqueville, French historian
* 1850 - Marie Tussaud, founder of the Madame Tussauds wax museum
* 1846 - Domenico Dragonetti, Italian composer
* 1828 - Francisco de Goya, Spanish painter
* 1788 - Georges-Louis Leclerc, Comte de Buffon, French naturalist
* 1783 - Christian Mayer, Czech astronomer
* 1689 - Aphra Behn, English dramatist
* 1687 - George Villiers, 2nd Duke of Buckingham, English statesman
* 1645 - Tobias Hume, English composer
* 1198 - Duke Frederick I of Austria
* 1118 - Adelaide del Vasto, wife of Roger II of Sicily
* 1113 - Sviatopolk II of Kiev, Russian prince
* 924 - Berengar of Friuli, King of Italy
* 744 - al-Walid II, Umayyad caliph
* 69 - Otho, Roman Emperor (b. 32)

YOU STILL WANT THAT B'DAY TREAT??? ;)

The TERRORist

2008-04-13T01:03:00.000-07:00

Sabeel Khan was the name.Born to a fairly well to do Muslim family in the suburb area.He had a normal childhood, middle class parents, a caring mother, a supportive father,one younger brother, Montessori schooling, an under graduation degree of his choice.
Life was like a bunch of roses without any thorns. But then due to the strange quirk of fate, things went drastically wrong.
In the month of November as religious feelings mounted in and around the city,his father on one of his regular evening walks was 'attacked'.It blew up before he knew. Though he survived it,he become partially deaf and was in a state of shock.It was the 3rd day of their festival,the festival of lights as they called it,Diwali.But not for Sabeel and his family as his father soon lost his job. And Sabeel who was now 19,before his completion of his degree was forced to support his family and the education of his younger brother. His mother, emotionally distraught at the state of her husband, stopped talking to anyone else.His family was torn apart,his dreams blow apart,mentally disturbed by all this, Sabeel was forced to plunge his feet into the dirty business. The job that required him to be ruthless and nonchalant. It demanded him to defy the fundamental ethics that were taught to him or did it?
He was an avid Musalman ,did Namaaz 3 times a day,it was peaceful and now his new profession asked of him to kill - plain brutal murder.
His life had taken a hairpin bend, Sabeel started to get a little suffocated with his life.Who wouldn't? When you had assumed living a life of eternal peace and suddenly,everything is gone like a dream blown apart.
His first assignment was the house where lived a small family of 4. They reminded him of his own family. The task, however, was quietly completed and he walked off .He knew the Terror they felt,he could see them cry out in pain,he loved it .
More assignments came and his modus operandi became noteworthy amongst his colleagues. He basked in the glory of appreciation. He started to develop an inclination towards his work. He felt it, this is what he was destined to do.

Today, after 5 long years, Sabeel was given a status that he truly deserved. All the hard work had paid off at last - he was made the Head of the Pest Control Division.

Disclaimer:-No offense to any community!! Just the pests.........Bloody Mosquitoes esp ;)

Change

2008-04-13T00:08:00.000-07:00

Only Change is Constant..
Times change,people change,feelings change...so does my blog template ;)

Come on dude I do exist!!- God

2008-04-12T01:02:00.000-07:00

One of my many non-believer friends [he calls himself 'vivsundaymistry' ;)]recently asked me if I believe in God.My response was affirmative.[especially during EXAM times...yeah I do ;)].
Well here is a short story for all you non believers out there .....

Once upon a time a man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer. "Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me."
"Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! The pain and suffering happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help!

And I really don't know if its HIM, could be HER too,so don't involve me in a gender war now!!
so just 'Pray for me' people...EXAMS coming up!!!
And yeah there is a strong and growing sentiment among the 3 F's [Friends,Family & Foes(if and only if)] regarding my unkept hairs and untrimmed beards[almost]....

I need to go to the BARBER

yeah Heaven awaits .........;)

He and her

2008-03-22T23:51:00.000-07:00

Love is beautiful .It wasn't easy to find her admist all the other more worse or better but he did.And he was happy until yesterday!
He lay awake on his bed, thinking about the previous evening.
It has been a month and a week since he did something to her that he never imagined he would do![Dirty minds before you reach your conclusions,here is what he did]
On a sunny Thursday morning he wakes up having no idea what the day has in store for
him or did he??
Inspired by an article in the local daily on how to approach your "gal" on valentine's day,he loads his purse with every penny he has ever saved and calls her up!!
As violins play in his head,he hears her soft voice from the other side,too numb to talk much he asks her to meet him at 'that' place.She obliges!!
Time running out,he rushes,he doesn't want to meet her on a valentine's day in the wrong place at the wrong time and so he runs, catches a auto and stops by a flower shop.The flower shop he had hardly seen or cared though he had passed by it a 1000 times and now he was here buying a rose for his love! wait a minute ...love?
He was in LOVE!!?
Love does make people do strange things,he bought a bunch of roses at a steep price on which he didn't care to bargain...no...not today and he runs again...!
Panting and out of breath he spots her at a distance and that doesn't help his panting or his heart pumping at all time high.
He walks up to her and they exchange the pleasantries.
Rumors are a plenty in college about the relationship between the two and he has no wish to add fuel to fire!
On a pathway hardly used lined up by trees on both sides he calls out her name and she turns around and looks at him and their eyes meet!
He goes through a million opinion polls "should I or not?", "now or afterwards?", "what will she think?","will it all be over?"
But it wasn't his head that was in control now was it?As he brings out his bouquet of roses and he gets on his knees and hands out the roses to her as the dried leaves descend from the heavens on the spring of 2008.
And she stoops a little and takes it with a smile he would die for as her hands lightly brushes his and sends chills down his spine.Both couldn't be more different he the joyful person and she the more restrained person.He all flustered and sweating and she calm and smiling[but inside.."oww my god!!!!"] she won't show an iota of shock or nervousness or excitement as always!
As for him the memory will be preserved deep in his heart for ever!
And today sprawled on his bed, his "love" has come a long way and reasons known only to him his heart is pumping the same way as it did when he was on his knees on 14th feb!!
And what was the reason?? Guess the answer and lemme know!!

Disclaimer: This is based on a true story. Its not intended to harm or offend anyone[as if it did ;) ]. And the blogger doesn't take any responsibility[as usual].
Resemblance to any person living or 'in love' is purely intentional.

Love Bites!!

2008-03-22T04:53:00.000-07:00

How is your gf?
Do you have a gf?
You have a bf!!
So what!?? Even I have a boyfriend!
Are you trying to have a gf?
Is he your bf?

These are some of the questions that have been asked and replied by my friends in the last 2 days!!
What is it the age, post result breather time of some of my friends or just the RAIN??Everywhere I go, these queries about bf & gf crop up!!

These are the conversations that we 'single ready to mingle but life didn't give us much to jingle' have.But what about those on the other side of this "love spectrum"??

These are some of those which I "overheard".

Conversation between guy1 & gal1:

gal1: I love you!!!
gal1: love you!!!
gal1: love you!!!
guy1: Oww.. [heart beating, head spinning....]

........and on the next day....

gal1: Sorry..I was talking silly yesterday..I was out of my mind...I didn't mean it.
guy1: Ohh..[heart breaking,head sliping...]

Conversation between guy2 & gal2

gal2: I want to have 3 kids!!
guy2: how sweet!![ and in his head..... WTF?!!!]

Conversation between guy3 & gal3

guy3: I love you dear!
gal3: I love you too! :)
. BLAH...
. BLAH....
. BLAH...
.BLAH...
gal3: hey did I tell you am dating a guy from my class!!
guy3: what?!?
gal3: yeah he is very cute...
guy3: oh!
-----guy3 has sighned out-------
gal3: you there dear??

Conversation between me and her

me: I love you
her: hehe
me: what hehe it wasn't a joke!
her: oh!! hmmm...ummm...I ..I ..will cia later byee!!
[NOTE: This was a HYPOTHETICAL conversation!!]

Some are trying really hard,some want tips on how to,some have gone all the way and succeded somehow[and regret ;)],well others sit back and enjoy the show!!!!

and yeah ALL THE BEST for that!!

@#$%^& you!!

2008-03-20T01:11:00.000-07:00

The main intention of abuse is to insult and also hurt the other person. Thats the key. If you have a set of vocabulary that your recipient does not understand or does not consider derogatory, sorry , its a waste!

In kannada as kids,abuses were mainly restricted to the animal names.
x: "Kaththe" [Donkey]
y: "Kothi" [Monkey]
x: "Naayi" [Dog]
y: "Goobe" [Owl]
x: "Handhi" [Pig]

This would go on and on till limited vocabulary of animal names were exhausted or one of the kids would decide that the best way to tackle a verbal abuse is by his fist!
There were few other variant words of demon/devil like "Devva", "Bhootha", "Pretha", "Peede", "Pishaachi" - it helped those, who knew very few animal names and not too keen to get into fist fights!

As we grow older, most of the animal names lose their effect. In fact, some of them change their meaning altogether.
"Kaththe", "Kothi", "Handhi" almost move out of ones vocabulary.

The other day my friend Kiran asked what does " Goobal" mean as it is the most widely used word in coversation!
"Goobal" and its so many versions like "Goob", "Goobs", "Goobal", "Goobad", "Goobald" etc evolves from "Goobe" which is usually accompanied by false anger, a suppressed smile etc!

"Naayi" however takes different meanings altogether. Here are a few examples.
Australia India kayyli naayi thara hodskondru" [Australia got beaten badly in India's hands]
"Avnu naayi thara thinthane" [He hogs a lot, like a dog] Dog stands for 'too much'.

So it goes until one day , the "real" abusive words come to your rescue.
The more common of the is 'Magne' [son] and its plural 'Makla'[children] not much to swear about in english but in kannada they have their own weightage.

And there are instances when all 3 of these are mixed!
You doing a very important work and your Friend is irritating paying no heed to your pleads for him to stop and you burst up and say "Eh Goobe!! Naayi tara adbeda Magne!![ You owl!Don't act too much, son!!]

Well in English, SHIT! Am not going into that FUCKed up BULLSHIT that those IDIOTs say !!

"Post " mortem!!!

2008-03-07T00:06:00.000-08:00

What happens after a man dies?

Is there a God waiting to settle things? Is there another world in a parallel universe ? An afterlife? Hell or heaven?
Does Chitragupta use the latest version of Tally for his accounting purposes so as to catch up with growing number of souls Yama keeps bringing? Or do dead people get bored to death[again] waiting in never ending queues for their turns to come up as he flips through the pages of his dusty old books?
Would St.Peter's job be outsourced to some other Indian saint from a tier 2 city? Will the Indian saint have lost it to a Mexican or a philipino by the time you reach there?
Do the Jehadis get their share of 72 virgins? Or will they be given a raw deal citing the dwindling male-to-female ratio as the reason?

What about the virtual world??

Have you ever wondered what will happen to the email account of a person once he dies? What happens to their blog? Their flickr/not 'baalti ibibo' account? Their Orkut account?Their adsense[from which I haven't earned much]?

You have an online friend,Girlfriend,a very 'good friend',but you don't know where exactly they live but you 'keep in touch' nonetheless.How will they know when a person is dead or is simply 'Inactive Virtually'???

If people want their online world to end along with them, there needs to be some sort of notification system. You could actually configure your message what you want to convey to people and store it in your mailbox. And only your lawyer will have the access key which triggers sending this message. Once this system matures, there will be provisions for custom messages for individuals or groups.
A general message could read something like this:
"Hey, I am dead now. Sorry for not responding to your mail. For any further queries, contact my family at 91-821-..."
A message to an online girlfriend can go like this:
"Honey, I am dead now. Apologies for not buying you the cute bracelet I promised. Don't keep in touch"
A Yahoo messenger status message reads :"I am dead" with a smiley with its tongue hanging out emoting your dead face.
A slightly complex message could be configured for a particular friend :
"Yeah bastard you were right. I ignored all those 'send it to 20 people or else bad luck will haunt you' forward and I am dead now. Send this message to 20 alive people you know"
All those people who want their legacy to continue will make "wills" . A lawyer reading it out will be something like "The son will get the blog account and all the ad revenue generated from that. The daughter will have access to flickr pro account and Youtube account and the son cannot share her flickr account to upload the pictures for his blog posts. The grandson will get the Rapidshare premium account and if it is noticed that he is using it to upload porn or do illegal stuff, it will be given to charity. The wife gets nothing as she does not use the computer at all"!!

say cheeze!!!

2008-02-25T00:03:00.000-08:00

Childhood Photos where good but once that make you regret are those which have all these weird facial expressions by me.
Some have straight face,blank expression,lost in thoughts kind of photos,others have a more sinister expressions frowning,biting lips,etc.
Of course in school where we had the occasional group photos where we sat in the order of height or stood like a line of suspects for an invisible witness to identify. The photographer never asked us to smile - he basically fiddled with his camera until he could get the entire group in focus and then clicked.
Each time with a weird expressions,was it on purpose I don't remember but I was a fan of "THE ROCK" from W.W.F so that may explain one of the eye brow raised looks in some of the photos.
Not to forget those Photos where the guy behind the camera took hours to click the photo and the whole group is giggling for some reason or the other ,while some get tears in eyes as they keep staring at the camera for such a long time,its blink and u miss situation.
In college, I needed a passport size photo for some reason ,could have been for a hall ticket or something. In a scary dark room, lit by lights behind umbrellas or something,the photographer asked me to sit on a bench. Times when you feel how awkward it would be like to sit in a press conference,all cameras pointed on you and they Flash!!!
Here I sit and try giving the 'best'est descent pose as he asks "camera kade noodi sir"[look at the camera sir]in the anticipation of the 'flash' I steadily look at it[concentrated literally] while he clicked. And he forgot to say 'smile'. So when the prints came out they had me looking very worried about something,and the Photographer shared the expression while handing it out to me.People who saw the picture never ceased to wonder what had engaged my attention so much - some making hyper imaginative stories which mainly revolved around a upset stomach,to the Photographer being onto something!!
Each time,something goes wrong.For example,it may be your hairs[a lot of times],pimples in wrong place,a fly flying across and thus gracing you with a birthmark on your cheeks,blinking of eyes at the 'flash', or doing some personal chores thinking those activities are "OUT OF FRAME".
Reason am not into modeling ;) and keeping that ID card hidden away from people :D!!!

Cameraman:'smile please'!!
You:Pardon! *FLASH*
You & Cameraman:DAMN!!!

RUN,the sky is falling....

2008-02-23T00:14:00.000-08:00

US aka Uncle Sam saves mankind from a disaster by bombing it apart.
Really??
Its not often you hear a US satellite malfunctioning,so I was quite surprised to hear a strange news about a US spy satellite tumbling towards earth and the dangers it may pose to the people of the world!!But Uncle Sam being the godfather of us all chose to destroy the falling thing before it could come down and hence save mankind...yeah whatever!!
Apart from being a "SPY SATELLITE" this out of control oldie satellite with its toxic fuels may have been highly dangerous so THEY HAD TO DESTROY IT!!!
Now how do you destroy a satellite falling from the darkness above at a speed of 27,000 km/hour!!
US did it with a missile they launched from a ship!!
It wasn't done before ,which raises few questions:
How was US so sure they would accomplish to destroy something falling at such great speed??
What if they failed and the damned satellite fell on populated area,or anywhere for that matter??
If they weren't sure,was it a an experiment to test a missile to bring down potential enemy satellite??
The display and testing of such technically advance missile which can proves it can hit down anything from anywhere, will certainly send countries around the world into a tizzy and urgency to develop their own such missiles --and hence lead to more 'weapon'isation of earth,water and space!!
And to be away from these weapons well all you can do is
Run away,but be careful,the path is full of land mines,Fly away and make sure there is no missile tailing you,Swim away well beware of submarines,bombs from sky and yeah Sharks with red stripes and white stars in blue!!!

Dear Uncle Sam,
All place on map other thn 'USA' isn't a Practical Lab and all except Tom,Dick and Harry[read Americans,Bush and Tony Blair] aren't lab rats.
Yours AM SO NOT YOURS
ram
P.S:stop bullshitting the world !!!
Came across this blog which shared the view somewhat.

east shows off in front of west...and west likes it!!

2008-02-22T07:31:00.001-08:00

Random Effects of Globalisation:A Pakistani guy dancing to a Bollywood song in front of Chicago audience on 'Americans got talent' show and getting a lot of applauds from all!!!

Does he...in you?

2008-02-20T04:37:00.000-08:00

Kinda bad times...huh!!

After a hard days play

2008-02-01T23:46:00.000-08:00

Cricket!!!Everyone loves the game and its the game that drove some of my "gandhi" calssmates to bunk a maths class.
So we had a cricket match on a thankfully cloudy Saturday morning and it was all fun and tiring!!
The spirit was not down inspite of the debacle of a match Team India had against the Mighty Aussies who had a new trick up their sleeve or sleeveless tights or whatever they were wearing....The "nicknames" on their jersey!!For example ,Lee is Binga, Symonds is "maa[n]ki" aah kidding sorry he is "roy" ,Brad Hodge is Dodgeball and there was someone called Catfish too. While these Cricketers go all nick names...I wonder isn't it time the Tennis players had a nick name too??
My friend Kaushik is a big fan of tennis and his nick name is sunny- short and sweet
but what about the players ....the ZTennis Dplayers!!??
Russia lost the supremacy to USA but in tennis it prevails as was evident in the The Australian Open!!!
You have Novok Djokovic who won the Australian Open, beating Jo-Wilfried Tsonga in the finals. Before the match started, there were animated discussions between the two, with the former wanting to know if the ‘t’ was silent in the latter’s surname and the latter commenting on the utter stupidity of the former adding a ‘d’ to his surname. Finally Djokovic prevailed as his name conveyed a sense of raw power, that Tsongo’s name lacked. I somehow felt Tsorry for Tsongo, as he was simply out-named.

The women’s tennis circuit has some pretty formidable line-up as well.
I remember that once upon a time there was just Navratilova and her eight sisters, Ek-ratilova, Do-ratilova, Teen-ratilova, Char-ratilova.....etc .Then along came Anna Kournikova brother of Tangi Kournikova[aah nevermind the gender now]. But, now you have Anastiya Miskina, Yelena Dementyava, Vera Zvonaryova ,Svetlana Kuznetsova, Lina Krasnorutskaya and Myasthenia Gravis. What chance does someone with a tame and docile name like Sania Mirza have, unless she changes it to Sanialana Mirzavonsky through a gazette notification and produces copy certified by a notary public and never mind if she is pulled down by some Fatwa!!

Nick names are way better...and so is Cricket!!!

P.S: Share your nick names dear readers and well mine is *censored*!!!

One sleepy afternoon

2008-02-01T09:57:00.000-08:00

In the greater darkness of powercut,in the glow of a afternoon sun...through the grilled gates I witness thus:
on the tarred road with potholes not so many... two boys are cycling up and down the street on a new more alien like bikes of today, the smaller of the two sitting pillion. He is clinging to the larger boy's back like a small monkey, his eyelids scrunched together to keep out the intrusive afternoon sun that knocks with a hot, insistent hand. After a few lazy laps the smaller one begins to whine and complain. It’s his chance he insists, his turn to navigate their ship. The larger boy ignores him, choosing instead to introduce a swaying motion to his pedaling so that the cycle careens, left right left right. The smaller boy is silenced temporarily; distracted by this new trick ,but good times don't last long,and soon enough he starts up again. His pleas get louder, a tinge of annoyance and anger slipping in to the occasional ‘Anna’[brother] to pacify any backlash from the larger one, picking at the striped back before him and flailing his legs out in petulance. The larger boy finally relents and gets off, his face sweaty and his chest pumping up and down , he looks at as his friend struggling on to the cycle with his shorter chubbier legs. After a few slips and slides, the small boy finally sits triumphantly on his throne and beckons the other to sit astride with a jerk of his head. The larger boy looks at him a moment, emotions of pride and ego flashes on his face and throwing back a careless snicker he walks away.
The younger looks back,half confused half unsure but that lits up his face as he pedals along happily away and free ..with or without crew...I AM THE CAPTAIN!!
POWER is back and I am back on my bed,back to sleep,back to my dreams,be the CAPTAIN!!

neen NonSmokera??

2008-01-13T00:23:00.000-08:00

A sunny, cloudy day…heaven as confused as the mankind.

Me, Sarmad, Ruthwik having a *by 2* tea at Kumara’s tea stall next to college a place for tea, bisket, sigret, beedi,and FM songs from Banglore radio stations…thanks to a wire tied high up in the tree next nearby…here we have the stupidest ,most repeated argument …or talk or whatever…

Started by Sarmad… in his urdufied kannada “nin magane vegga?”[you a vegetarian??]

My affirmative nod prompted a question by Ruthvik “eggu tindilva??”[you haven’t even eaten egg??]

The tea is ready by now and I drink it from the stained steel glass….as whips of smoke rises around…not from the tea..its cigarette….the nikotin, tobacco shit everything burned in a white roll of paper…inhaled and exaled from between lips…..the lit cigarette glows bright n pales with every breath the guy took..the smoking guy.

But the smoke wasn’t the reason …as I get tired of this discussion which has been heard right from school days and it continues even now..I just shook my head …too bored to answer to Ruthviks query….in a attempt to make their case stronger Sarmad piches in “cake tindidya….?”[haven’t you eaten cake?]……. I nod again….”adralli egg irathe…”…*sigh* “hmmm gottu”[I know that]…and I silently agree….as I sip the hot tea which starts tasting silly after a silly talk about VEG/non Veg… I wastefull try to shut my ear of this stupid talk..and more so with the smoking guy making more noice with his caughing and caughing….

But no! Its about being veg or non veg….as my mind comes up with disturbing images of eating an animal…why would I want my stomach to be some kinda graveyard for all those bred,fed animals in some farm??

As the talk was migrating towards “neen brahmana na….nan friend voba Brahmana motte tintane” [you a Brahmin?? One of my friend a brahmin eats eggs]……God saved me…….. the non veg brigade got distracted by the speeding gals on scooty as we where about to cross the road …and the topic changes just as fast…”Gaadi irbekitu..1 choke kodtide…ha”[ Should have been on vehicle… would have give a choke to them…ha!!]

No offence to any friends of mine who are “non vegga!!!”

Eat what you want... just CUT THE SMOKE

a Story...............

2008-01-05T02:49:00.000-08:00

At the shelf beside the bed, under the denims and shirts a place which was quite dark to be in , the half-read books of the ‘boy’ were having their annual general meeting. There were the Readers digests ,Textbooks, Noteboks, Harry Potters,The World is Flat, Alchemist, One night @ call center and many more and quite a few NIIT books. As with each year, The Maths textbook opened the day’s proceedings. In his welcome address, he regaled the conferenc with his favourite anecdote about a ‘boy’ who used to study from it when things he had to offer was relevant to the 'boy' . And with each page, boy’s knowledge improved and even though the boy skipped a few things in between he finally passed the boards with decent grades and he was being modest….

The delegates clapped appreciatively and soon dispersed to attend the various workshops being conducted throughout the day. There was ‘a book is forever, not just for holidays’ where several books that had been gifted/bought through the holidays aired their anger at the disservice done to them. There was ‘Never been touched’ where books that had never been pried open by eager hands cried their hearts out. The ‘I’m an autobiography, get me out of here’ section was buzzing with few books that held the lives of people famous and infamous but had languished for want of readers who loked beyond the photographs . And then there was the hugely popular ‘Borrowed and never returned’ section which attracted loads of dissatisfied books from the friends of the ‘boy’ and had never been returned to the true owner and then there where other stalls for ‘I was made a movie’who spoke of readers who had not taken the time to plod through the plot and instead picked up a movie version of the book and the latest entrant was ‘the guide’.

Then there was the ‘ I am being eaten’ where books so hardly moved from there place where being chewed away buy hungry monstrous termites. Not to forget ‘I was used to kill’ section where books showed off the flies, ants and insects which where accidentally or purposefully killed by the ‘boy’ as they crawled or flew through the them.

The organizers had thoughtfully arranged for grooming sessions where the books could have their bent pages straightened and the coffee/and curry/blood stains paled. But by evening, as hard-covers dusted off their Covers and as soft binds slid bookmarks back in their midst and everyone had vented their hatred of the Harry Potter series which was aloof all along [of course, they weren't jealous], a sense of gloom and sadness had descended. The books sulked back into the shelf they came from. But this summit was not like any other …it was time to awaken, to fight back, to register a protest and not to give in meekly ……..thus they all vowed, they will make extra effort and refuse to be shut when their reader fell asleep with the pages agape. No, they will not sit quite until they have been read through…….. But the innocent books had no clue the ‘boy’ sporting a rather disturbing pimple on his nose had seen them all ,heard them all and before they could protest ...he put more denims and shirts and muffled their protesting voices….but the books dint give up…all the notes quipped in “WAIT TILL EXAMS SUCKER……………DON’T COME TO US LATER!!!

The 'boy' snickered ……..”The new semester has just begun!!!”

But a voice came from the back of his mind “but the results haven’t ………“

The end!

thats it!!!

2007-12-30T22:39:00.000-08:00

AAh Monday morning....which is very bad time for most people as they have to get their ass off from there happy sundays to get back in to their real hectic life.
Others like my friends in B.E got to slog all day and night and have sadly lost sense of the Big gap between a sunday and monday and well the 31/12/2007 and 1/1/2008...VTU gets it always wrong .....EXAM on the new year!!!

Well am the lucky few who inspite of having to be in college need not because there isn't much going on there too tired too buzy too lazy.

Waking up early in the morning and feeling the fresh cool air..hearing the birds chirping in the garden,the sound of the falling vessels as the cat makes not so silent attempt to get that milk ..that warm glow of the sun between the mist on a december morning..the last december morning..............well all these are not what i experienced..all these are a thing of past when i wake up at 8.25AM just in time to be ready for "the simpsoooooooons"
The rising sun is replaced by the bald Homer with 2 long hairs running across his head....!!!

After a wonderful stupid and funny morning and after all those things that for once i wont be explaining in detail..am back at my comp the only place where according to many i happen from being fast,josh,not shy,funny and everything what a normal person would be doing in real that is offline!!
but strangely i happen do them online....
All pumped from the + reviews by the *critics* for my previous blog entries it was some what relieving "gosh atleast they read my damn blogs" but not happy either damn ending the new year on blogosphere[thats also a part of this planet earth now like the atmosphere] with a comment to delete it..... was a bad sign...so here I am writing again to move the bad blog down so nobody sees it [kiddin!!].
And even as i write this i am bombed with replies to the stupid blog taken seriously!!
anyways i type along as a spider does a mission impossible as it descends with its web to the ceiling...and trying to make a web out there at the window...now great people get inspired looking at it..but i chose to destroy all its attempt..by ...__________________ *gory incident has been censored*...Duh! the spider is alive!!!
Well back to writing as i think about what to do today on a boring day [ as my friend is starting to doubt if I am becoming Devdas...huh!!]...other than forwarding "happy new year" to everyone or copy pasting some creative work by some guy and sending it to gals..yeah they do that..guys don't even get a decent wish these days.
What do you do on 31st???
Normally people say PARTY baby....but lesser mortals like the author of this blog has no party to party with...the lone blogger!![ Nobody calls me that!!!]
And i think and think what to do on this day...and having no clue why i have to write that iam thinking what i want to do !! the cup of hot tea which is more like a 'kashaaya'[herbal tea]..slowly becomes more unbearable as it cools.....the speaker is ranting the new song from the movie sunday ..and its been doing that for the last 1/2hour ya..shocking...thats the magic of new songs you keep hearing it on and on...and finally one day you become sick of it...and that one day comes on the day you get a new song that is in 1,2, or 3 days!!!

Well like every year TV is the only thing to make me stay awake till 12..and well the tv these days doesn't promise much than the repeat telecast of the gunman shooting 'muhatarma Benazir Bhutto' again and again though i couldn't make out much[No disrespect to anyone!!]
that was the news channels...

then comes the entertainment channels[really???]
They cry,they die,they kill,they are reborn..die again..and again come back,some just don't die...some get a plastic surgery and change face every fortnight...and on 31st they all get awards for doing all those ridiculous stuff....and for then they dance and dance....*yawn*
And i wont talk about the reality show serials..!!

then there are the music channels
Keep repeating the same bollywood songs between the ads as an ad is the 1st priority.
or they repeat the bakra episodes....or lola kutty comes up[ewwww]

and our only bet are the CN's and POGO!![yeah niceeeee]

Well with these ridiculous time pass we enter 2008 and have a better luck hopefully!!

And am trying to get my hands on the book 'the kite runner'[recco by sheki....] lets see if i can do that ...ummm....Damn!! the spider is at it again..it just doesn't give up!!!!!!!!

EUREKA !!!!

"Don't give up on what ever you want to do..keep trying till you succeed"
- some guy very long back!!

CAN THAT BE A NEW YEAR RESOLUTION??? guess yaaa....

And see you people in 2008!!!
HAPPY 2008

Good bye [2] 007 ....

2007-12-30T04:42:00.000-08:00

Well its 2008!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And just like ‘The New Year’ there will be “new year resolutions”

Most of us don’t follow them …and we just step into new year ..

Here are some of the things or rules to keep in mind …to make life better in next year….

Caution Readers:

This is not a crash course of any sort on ‘how to become a genius’, ‘a terrorist’, ‘to lead a healthy life’, ‘how to poke your nose in public’, ‘how to become marriageable’, ‘how to get a divorce’ or any shit.

Not all rules are funny they are not supposed to be so..…well some are… and some more are plain stupid and others may just workout.

It’s not all original ideas ….some are plain rip off …so don’t be envious of me!!!

Hmmm here you go……..

1] Life can be tough, take it ONE rule at a time.

2] Don't wash your hands with petrol/diesel.

Don't wash your dog with Sulfuric Acid.

[You'd think such things would be common sense, but there are some real MORONS out there]

3] "Don't drive faster than your Angels can fly"

[Warning: Angels can fly approximately 120 kmph , lets be careful with this rule].

4] Don't slurp when you eat or drink, or chew with your mouth open, or talk with your mouth full... in other words , don't enjoy eating at all.

5] Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah....and now Rule 6

6] Buy a lottery ticket now and then, you never know

7] Read a bunch of strange books about ghosts, reincarnation, aliens, and parallel universes; one of these wacko theories might be true.

8] Eight hours of sleep, or more, is gooooooood.

9] Don't _____________[fill in the blanks and send your answers to 575575 and win a TIGHT SLAP].

10] There's a time to be born, a time to die, a time to be serious, a time to learn, a time to teach, a time to put on your shoes,a time to see the time, a time to sit down and have breakfast, a time to paint something, a time to write a stupid rule that really isn't a rule but just a discussion of time and doing things, and a time to think on how we are always doing stuff and rarely have enough time to do everything, and a time to make a really long sentence with lots of commas, and a time to put an end to Rule 11; which is now.

11]Some important rules while in a forest or zoo or in company of animals.

Don't wrestle with an Alligator, or Bear.
Don't try to out run a Cheetah, just get ready for the worst.
Don't tease a loose Gorilla.
Don't lay down near an Elephant.
Don't pretend you're a seal in Shark infested waters.
Don't steal honey from Killer Bees.
Don't bend over naked around a horny male Baboon.

12] Its not a rule..Its a fact

Only humans and Dung Beetles 'choose' to clean up the shit of other creatures.

[After all 2008 is the International Year of Sanitation.]

13] Fuck the rules

[I know one guy who will agree very much]

14] If you're going to drink alcohol..think about all those drinks that tastes good and is good for you, like a Rasna.

15] When you find something good, share it with your friends.[Is your gf/bf good???]

16] Figure out what your dreams are, you NEED that information.

17]. If your goal for the day is to hang out and do nothing, and you do that, you've had a successful day.

[More than a few days devoted to this goal is a BAD sign.]

18] Life's guarantees:

Wonder
Joy
Sadness
Despair
Surprise
Disappointment

[some keep repeating ]

19] Never go by what they say

We live in a world where we are surrounded by people who believe CRAZY things[most of them come true]... and sadly these people think you are strange.

20] I predict:

Tomorrow the world will 'just miss' ending in some catastrophic way that no one will even know about

21] The world could end in the blink of an eye... or it could go on and on and on and on... only Al Gore knows for sure.

22] These days many a things will be termed “none of your business…!@#$ off”!!

23] !@#$ =fuck[ @#$%,F@CK,FAC# ,F#CK all mean the same]!

24] If you want to live forever, DO NOT DIE ;

25] If Koi mil gaya indeed happens. And you run into an alien don’t say “aailaaa..ye kya he?”

Not all Aliens are ‘jaaadu’ just run away silently [ this rule/advice may or may not work]

26] A trimmer is no big deal but when dealing with complicated machinery such as "Time Machines", or "Transporter Units", read the directions CAREFULLY.

27]

No war.
No crime.
No anger.
No distrust.
No lies.

[Wake up dude]

28] The most exciting part of a rocket launch is the countdown from ten.

[Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

29] Note to children:

You are right about all that crap they want you to learn in school, you won't need to know MOST of that stuff, ever.

But, that's not the point, you are learning HOW to learn when you do that work and do it well, and one day, you WILL need to have learned how to LEARN.

So do the work, do it well, study, get A's and B's, IT WILL MATTER.

..so do 100/100…….. well …….99/100 is good too![Remember Taare zameen par]

30] If someone is about to bury you alive, do EVERYTHING POSSIBLE NOT TO GET BURIED ALIVE!!

31] When tossing grenades, squeeze the handle tight and hold it there, THEN pull the pin, THEN throw. Any other order will meet with less than desirable results.

32] Don't try to breakup fights, just stand back and watch.

33] Don't go surfing when a Tsunami is approaching.

34] Don’t spin around until you are dizzy near a cliff.

35] Don't get a tattoo of a girlfriend or boyfriend's name, you'll regret it sooner or later.

36] Always wear a helmet, when riding a vehicle [who knows you may have Einstein’s brains..they may want it for research!!!]

37] Given a choice between drowning or burning to death, pick drowning.

38] Don’t put a candle into your nose…its not required.

39] If there's a green wire, a black wire, and a red wire, and you have the desire to touch one, touch the black one.

40] Rules for Terrorists : When they ask for volunteers for a "Suicide Mission", look down at your shoes and remain quiet.

41] LMAO stands for ‘Laughing My Ass Out’ and not ‘Laaaa Mmmmm Aaaa Oooo’

42] New Year comes every year so don’t worry if you slept off at 11:55PM….there is always next year…well ..almost….and yeah don’t blame me if you sleep off again next year!!

43] Know when to ignore those voices in your head that say "Kill, kill"

44] Remember: 'Rules are meant to be broken'

45] You will be fined/tortured/beaten up if you follow Rule 44!!

46] Pets are good…but never keep any animal in your house that could kill you if it wanted to.

47] You get 11 different types of dreams every night....so don’t stay up all night .

48]You can’t avoid all the potholes…that’s true for the vehicle passing next to you on a rainy day!!

49] Lord Of The Rings is not REAL[Real things cant be so great.]

50] Drink more grape juice.[Just make sure some are fermented ..and older the better]

51]Be Lazy when you have no work …be a couch potato because it’s the International Year of the Potato.

52] All the readers who reached till here should be appreciated….are you human??

53] I forgot…never mind!

54] The BIG question: What is life, what's this all about?

Don’t worry if you cant answer it the 1^st time…if you could..contact me immediately!!!

55] Life sucks….[damn it…go back to Rule 53]

56]*yawn*

57] Always write a comment after you read the blog….and it better be good!!!

That’s it they have no connection whatsoever with the new year ..like many things in life don't ..hmmmm …yeah enjoy the new year..party hard get drunk ..puke out .. sleep late and miss the new year morning and wake up at afternoon…feel dizzy and go back to sleep again..and wake up at night and wonder what you would want to doand again try to sleep coz you got school, college, work the next day….baaals!!!

Apna Santa puttar!!!

2007-12-27T01:35:00.000-08:00

You wish everyone “Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year”…so here I write what I should have written some days back…well never mind..it ain't 31^st yet!!

So its Christmas time and everyone has just 1 person in their mind[no not the gifts or cake..they aint a person you see]…well he is the guy with one of the ‘cold’est job!!!

He pushes his feet in to the scuffed black boots before styling his beard with Brylcreem. [Brylcreem…yeah he dropped one half used sachet of it once] he couldn’t wait for tomorrow when he could shave the damn thing off. Tomorrow. It seemed like such a long way off. All those houses, all those gifts, all those not so clean chimneys to get down. And those reindeers, jumping, running and they are supposed to be flying too…and yeah also farting in his face and pretending like they had no control. The ministry [of the north pole???] had rejected his application for a car. Again. Well the IPCC didn’t win a Noble for no reason!!!! Environmentally unfriendly they said. As though all that methane was good for the planet[guess its natural and hence nature friendly]. Sure, there were days he thought of quitting but the perks were good…very gooood. 364 days a year off!!! ….now how often and in which job do you get that???? And added bonus of Free milk and cookies[yeah cookies…]and a whole lot of elves to do the chores…well the software companies would have a tough time employing this fellow….and just the one day he had to work. Some would even say he was famous, well not in a Paris Hilton kind of way, but still pretty good for a man 364 days in hibernation[I guess]. But he is a happy man and remindes himself ‘You shouldn’t complain so much’ as he settles down in the sleigh. Life could be worse. You could be the Easter Bunny!!!

And with a heavy sack of gifts he sighs ‘ho ho ho’ which sounds majestic and happy “HO HO HO!!!” to everyone…well that’s SANTA for you..not the one from SANTA&BANTA….its SANTA CLAUS !!

MERRY XMAS

WELCOME to the BARBERSHOP!!!

2007-12-04T02:34:00.000-08:00

Unlike in school where u had 2 months of holidays after an exam ….in college you get a 15 days holidays after an exam which lasted more than a month.

Nonetheless its HOLIDAYS!!!!

What do I do on a holiday…well I plan to get a haircut .

Again unlike women going to a beauty parlor…going to a barbershop is quite an extraordinary thing.

It wasn’t so bad until recently when I go to this barbershop near my house “Welcome” shouts a sign in the front……… and as I enter am greeted by big posters of madhuri n priety zinta…not getting what they are supposed to be doing in a men’s parlor I wonder if its to lure people in to have their hair cut or ……….[what!!??]

After that deep thought I look around as there are more posters of men with weird hairdo’s most of them look Chinese…which is quite unfortunate because we Indians cannot have those hairstyles and look as good…..nor would it be appreciated…

To make matter worse they got those huge mirrors in front and back and staring at those multiple images of yourself all staring just as blankly back at you…. and you look at those having their hairs cut and don’t be surprised if u see them all staring back at you while you would be smirking at their hairstyles or something……and sadly there isn’t any Alice from the wonderland [i.e. from the other side of the mirror.]

And looking at yourself in the mirror u wonder…’Damn I look so good y do I need a haircut??’[though the whole wide world might strongly disagree]

Suddenly am jolted back to realty buy a hefty dark n thick guy asking “yen beku???”[what do you want]

Ummmmm I would want many things…….but rite now just a“haircut”!!!

And with that begins 10 to 15 mins long ordeal.

Made to sit on a nice chair and a cloth tied around your neck suspiciously way tighter….and then you are ready to begin..end….

You got the water spray which gives u goosebumps all over your body, and they agonizing images of your hairs being chopped off mercilessly, the smell of oil, aftershave, shaving cream, hair dyes all mixed up make for some interesting smell and the dinchak dinchak lousy songs on radio ,the skich kich clik sounds and hairs falling everywhere on your face…pretty sensational huh…..times u regret having those sensory organs…but the barber is a kind hearted man..he plans to relieve you of those agony by bringing his sharp pointed scissors, blades, mini grass cutting machines….all roll over your head and dangerously close to your eyes, ears, lips…. while you are made to tilt your face in all directions.

15 minutes when you are forced to realize how good looking or ugly you actually are…in front of a very unfriendly mirror….ruthlessly true always………..

They say ‘no pain.. no gain’………but here its ‘all pain and no gain whatsoever….’

A young guy wants a stylish sideburns, another guy wants his hair done red[thankfully I dint have to see how he looked after his makeover],some where dozing off while the barber massaged there head expertly, others where quite occupied in the magazines and papers lying around….none was least bothered……….except me!!!!

What is the other name for “being afraid of barber”???Barberophobia...sounds very much "barbaric" rite...???

At the end of it all as he pours and dabs some talcum powder on your neck and brushes off the hair from your face with a big huge brush[its similar to those used for brushing your dogs]….finally after you are untied of that useless piece of cloth ties around your neck ..and off the luxury dentist like chair cant help but wonder a nice decent haircut …and iam suddenly very strangely am lookin forward to the next haircut time……..until my eyes fall again on the blades, scissors, grass cutters[trimmers]...And my nose again gets the disturbing smell…and the as the music continues dinchak dinchak…awwwwwwwww shit……..and I hastily make my way out of the hairy floor beneath..…and out of the BARBERSHOP with a sign “Thank You Visit Again”…yeah right I will……….!!!

DISCLAIMER: The opinions are personal and means no harm to the barber community whatsoever. Any resemblance to barbers living or dead[impossible…hopefully] is purely coincidental…ya whatever!!

TOUR-DE-GOA

2007-08-12T06:18:00.000-07:00

[whatever that means]

Hmmm.. so here goes something which I wanted 2 write down from a long time….finally got the time!!
Am talking of our great Tour-De-Goa!![well not exactly… but what the hell!]
After several days of planning and after endless conferences on yahoo[which themselves
ended quite abruptly with no result whtsoever] we finally dicided to Go Goa [the Goa].

at Night :

The the seats were booked for a night journey from mysore to udupi on bus which arrived at 9.i was the 1st one to arrive to the bus stand followed my mama,sabi, and moron[oops sorry make that preetham ,abhinav and arun].we boarded the bus and started what was quite a fun journey. Teasing each other..for example the 1stattack went on arun who was rueing for not being able to email to his galfriend [????].and then on abhinav who was already buzy callin and messaging his innumerable GFs[ya rite!!].and after sometime we slowly drifted off to sleep until we arrived in madikeri which was at its pleasant best hours before dawn all chilly and foggy.we got down at the bus stand to remove or to drain out rather all that we carried all the way from mysore.and then a had a cup of hot tea [which felt really good after the chilly ride that I had] and then back to bus as it continued its journey this time down the hills toward the coastal plains.and then right at dawn and got down in the holy town of Udupi!

Day time:
Thanks to arun who had arranged for a hotel room rite in front of the busstand we had our bath in cold water[though arun really said there was hot water..which wasn’t available for me n mama who went in 1st]and after that watched some tv while preetham couldn’t help but wonder how do so many channels come here in udupi when they don’t back in mysore.all this while waiting for abhinav who took almost an hour[in my standards]to take bath[though he defended it quite candidly that it took more time to apply the soap…ya whatever!!!]and after all that we went down to have our breakfast at the restaurant below ..the topi plain dosas ;).
And after that under the light drizzle we went to one of the most sacred temple of south India yes the udupi sri Krishna temple[sadly thou we didn’t get the darshan…but it was all worth it].
From there we went directly to the railway station[which was CLEAN if u were to compare to other railway stations] on a rickshaw which had sworn to make our food digest I guess by the way it was wobbling and jumping all the way …blame it on the road rather!!
Finally we were in the station…and after all the enquiry on the train which according to railways was on time but according to our shek[read abhishek] who was to come from suratkal on the same train and join us in udupi it was to be late by an hour!!
With nothing else to do…all 4 of us sat on a bench with mp3 players and music fones plugged to our ears lookin athe rain washed tracks and the hoarding beyond that…and calling shek as we were getting really impatient waiting for the train .
Finally after more than an hour the train arrives..with shek standin iout from one of the doors with a cap and a jacket with a broad typical sheik smile.
Heaving a sigh of relief me ,arun preetham and abhinav boarded the train and then shifted to a reserved area which was 15rs extra but was more free and comfortable then the other crowded bogies.
After chattin about things and stuff we finally settled down to enjoy one of the best train rides and one of the beautiful ones..all because of the konkan railways…from drillin our way throu 3kms long tunnels to goin over bridges over lookin rivers mergin the the Arabian sea.froam lush green fields to the barren water logged[flooded rather] places..u get to see them all.
With nothing much to do everymody settled down to play rummy[I guess] while I settled down to read a book on the life and times of Delhi[which sadly I coudnt complete] which shek had brought with him.
The rummy was followed by a game or 2 of uno after which all 5 of got buzy doin our own stuff me reading the book,Arun listening to music and reading a magazine and abhinav and shek rushed to the doors of the boggie and look out..preetham was buzy jumpin from one activity to other[don’t mistake me now..nothin out of ordinary ;)].
After ‘woo’ing out of the windows and doors while going through tunnels to just lazing around eatin chips and drinkin cup of tea and coffee …we finally reache dour destination margoa alias madgaon alias the place we stay on this 4 day trip.
We got down ad hired a taxi to take us to the Vailankani beach resort in colva where we were to be stayin.
We settled down in to separate rooms abhinav and shek in one..me arun preetham in nother…after refreshments we headed to the colva beach few hundred mts from where we stayed.
We all had our share of fun enjoying and admiring the sea and the beach[which was dirty but never the less Indian ….after u realize ur at the edge of the great mass of land that is India] except for shek who was quite used to this after all he had one near his college..he was rather buzy scoldin[literally] the sea about how stupidly the waves come and go…”damn Iam bored already..and u..stpid wave keep doin it for eternity…this is ridiculous”
Amid sinster plans to throw shek into water by all 4 of us[ which was unsuccessful as he would come nywher close] we played and wetted ourselves[ now don’t mistake me…it was the waves].crying tsunami for every other wave..in our version “tu-su-nami”..we spent all over energy in the sea…and returned back to our rooms calling it quits for the day.

at Night :

We slept…we…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………..

Day time:

Tourists visit places….the place don’t visit tourists. And to visit those places we needed a mode of transportation…we had many options…taxi and rickshaws were…a strict no no.
So we hired 2 pulsars and an activa to travel around goa.[talk of BAD decisions…here was one].not knowing the adverse effects of this…we headed to our 1st destination…BIG FOOT[no don’t worry…there aren’t any Bigfoot or yetis in goa] it’s the anglicized version of the foot mark[ rather big for a normal human being if u ask me…well tats y then same…Bigfoot] on a rock[really???] on which many years ago a man who lost everything prayed to god and got his wish…so the legend goes anyone who can stand on one leg and fold ur hands high doing a namskaara towards the sky and ask for a wish..it will be granted.
Well it might sound easy[or difficult …depends how u understood my description] but really not so the foot mark is inclined and u need a balanced body[and mind] to pull it off. We all had a go and prayed or wished rather…our preetham did it thrice actually wonder what he asked for..thouh he was wobbling like a big rock on a slope with his iommensly huge body which has grown over the days…[he is proud of it thou].
Here we did our 2nd mistake..none of us wished for the rains to stop..yeah..it was rainin and raining bad…from the very day we arrived.we the young souls of India..continued our journey to Fort Aguada on the national highway via panaji with 2 hamara bajajs and an activa.
The rain gods wee on the roll….and it was raining cats and dogs…we rode on…stopped near a church were people had gather for the Sunday mass…didn’t pray to god for the rains to stop..we just rode on..after counting for 25 cars to pass by[as rains wont let up].
Me and shek on the ill fated activa and arun on one pulsar and abhinav and preetham in another[on the not so ill fated pulsar].the rains continued…the waters rose…we lost balance..we fell…and shek got hurt.it was not as bad yet….worse to come ..the bag with the camera and phones fell into water and the active the hired active….got a dent.
All tired and the energy we reached a restroom where we rested and realized the damage done ..the place was pretty old…yes it was Fort Aguada.we couldn’t enjoy the Fort much with a digicam all watered inside out and abhinavs cell dead due to suffocation by drowning in water.
After spending some time in the Fort and after encountering the a strange gal who was disappointed tht the light house on top of the Fort was not working said “kuch nahin hei yahan” to her parents and left with them .it wouldn’t hav sounded much odd..but the light house in question was from the portugese time…and it was off time for a light house to be working anyways as it was 12 in the afternoon!!!!
And so we left Fort Aguada…and carefully drived back..not falling anywhere back to Panaji the Capital of Goa.drenched to the core and doubtfull wether the restaurant manger will allow us in[which he thankfully did with a dry look] we had our lunch at the Kamath hotel with a hot cup of tea to heat the cold shivering drenched body of ours.
Me and shek where the 1st to recover…more so than abhinav who was finally relived tht his phone was back to life after operating and drying it….we left of on our dented activa to explore around….and realized Sunday is holiday…almost all the shops where shut..it was like a bandh…shek brought something to carry back to his college…and we came back to hotel where others were holed up…ate a meetha paan and headed back to madgaon in the rain again. Here the 3rd mistake happened and was repented just as soon….as arun got fined by the local traffic police for driving without a helmet..100 bucks as a bribe.after returning to colva..the 1st thing to do was to return the activa which was not needed as shek was to leave the same day.And voila…hell broke loose and the guy who gave us the activa demaded a hefty 2000 bucks as a claim to the damages we made to activa .
After intense request and innocent faces the guy agreed for a 1000rs fine…and left us in shock as how things can go bad.after learning a lesson one of the many which I will list out in the end we came back to our resort and returned back the other 2 pulsars as we where in no postion to take nymore risks as the luck was against us these days..and then at night we dropped of shek to a bus stand from where he returned to madgaon and from there back to his coll.
Though we had planned to go to the beach in the night..it was cancelled due the rains which gave no clues of stopping.

at Night :

We slept watching dhoom2[I guess..]

Day time:

Fresh and not to remember the previous days folly we took a bus to madgaon and from there in the rain went to Dona paula beach for water sports[which was not available due to rains I guess] and Miramar beach which was strange and water was as dirty.
And headed back to madgaon in the eve.

at Night :

Cant remember much..just this dream of this giant pirate ships docked near the beach..colva beach…where we were staying….scary huh!! ;)

Day time:

I had this vague idea that ”shopping is for gals” …boy was I proved wrong…
Arun ,abhinav and preetham dedicated the whole next day for shopping in panaji..which had all the leadin brand retail shops which mysore cant boast of…and 3 guys dug in..from the over priced Lacoste..to cute pepe…from dumb nike to friendly adidas…and not to forget the kaju alias godambi alias ger beeja[aruns idea].shopped all of them..
And me too bored plugged my ears with some hip numbers from Enrique and others while wondering around behind the shopping boys with to umbrellas in hand…u know the rains had not eneded yet…!!
And after nother lunch and somemore shopping we returned back to colva.

at Night :

The rains had stopped…so it was time for a walk in the beach in the night..
The moment we stepped onto the sand I was shocked my the erry silence and the ghostly waters rising and hitting the sand…just like they have been doin for centuries…and before them…couldn’t help but agree more with shek’s comment on the stupid waves…..but with a scary tinge to it.
Preetham who was already quite SCARED to be on the beech at the odd time panicked even more as abhinav wondered alone along the beech .poor mama uttered his trademark padvarahalli dialogues as he could no longer see Abhinav who had vanished in the darkness more so for Preetham who was more blind then the rest of us.
Arun who had stayed back in the room was doing god knows what!!!
It was the last night we where goin to eat in the sagar kinara restaurant where we had been eating our breakfast and dinner.
And headed back to the room to have a goodnight sleep…and yeah arun doesn’t eat much…he is on diet I guess.

Day time:

Wooo!! Its shopping again….this time for shell earings and shirts and stuff from the shops nearby the beach…cheap…and strong .yeah the shell earings just didn’t break….proved later by abhinav to prove it was worth it to arun who as usual had a cynic look at it.
And thus was spent the last day in goa….as we packed our stuff and headed back to madgaon…and boarded the train where my bag was inspected by the police for weapons smuggled out to Karnataka by naxals via goa…and no I didn’t have those weapons ;)

at Night :

And we reached back to udupi..had our dinner in the same hotel where we had the day we arrived…boared the bus..took our seats….exchanged our seats and then we were back doing what we did on night 1…..this time teasing mama…who was confused in the railway station he was wondering “our train is moving” but it was the train next to us….and when finally our train did move…I guess he was thinking it was the platform tht was moving ;) [sorry mama].
After all the teasing and sleep in the bus and a jump and dance of bus over the humps wnd women yellin at the driver we finally reached mysore…safe….

Day time :

At 7 we got down the bus…and headed our ways…marking the end of the tour -de –goa!!
Which spread a range of emotions on our faces…excitement,anxiousness,impatience,pain,tiredness,fear,bore..hungry…stupidity…and much more….what ever u call……experience it was…one of the best…with friends…better then the best!!

Moral of the story:

1]Off-season ……….. means its really The off-season
Never visit goa in an off- season…coz it aint called off-season for no season..they mean it…coz..rains are sometime injurious to health,wealth and fun!!
2] Never hire vehicles unless your damn sure you wont get it dented or nythin.
3] Water sports are played on water..not in water…so don’t expect them in rains
4] Beaches are dying due to global warming and human hamming.
5] Don’t go alone ;)

Well that’s it..i know its really long a blog..but coudnt leave out the details..coz god lies in details…ya rite..nyways…cia..

ITS OFFICIAL !!!DOOMSDAY IS HERE N SO IS HIMESH

2007-06-29T09:53:00.000-07:00

Doomsday!!

Well folks today is doomsday and I consider myself lucky to be actually be still writing i.e after surviving the release “aap ka surroor the movie”.

Himesh reshamiya has now entered into acting after killing many a birds by his nasal singing of “तन्न्हैयांएस” AND “सुर्र्र्रूऊऊर्स्”READ TANNHAIYYAAANS AND SURROOOOORS.

Seriously he is a perfect example how a man acts when success goes too much into his head.

All his songs feel the same with high beats in background while he spoils the lyrics with his voooooooooooooooooons .

And the greatest mystery of all..whts under his god damn cap!

Omg!am so waiting to see whats under that….man..wht the hell….what can ther be but loads of hair or a bald head??? Hopefully there wont be any golden statue of himself singing now will there be ny??

He ain’t tired of his shit…but half the world is…but he wont stop…he is the king of his own world full of people with sumthing for songs with a nasal twang…

I sound better singing in bathroom with a bucket over my head….how cum he maks loads of money then???

He so tiring and irritating with all tv and radio channels airing nothing but his tannnhaiiiyaaan I rather watch the Indian team losing!!

Even though these guys wear cap atleast they don’t sing wherever they goo…..n whatever they are doing.

Please dude…stop singing man…..

Why isn’t nyone voting to include his songs in the list if environmental pollutants..n health hazards…

His albums should actually come with some caution like those on packets of cigarettes

“CAUTION: Listening to the songs in this album is declared hazardous to listeners and effevts could range from “nnnnnnnnn” sounds in ur ears o permanent deafness and many mores erious health conditions”

Why not???

All humanity is headed towards doomsday if we continue to hear all the things he cooks up from his nose and from under the cap!

TERRORISM IS ON A RISE,GLOBAL WARM,ING IS ON A RISE….HIMESH IS ON A RISE…..DOOMSDAY IS NEAR PEOPLE…STAY INDOOS..N SHUT THE TV AND UR RADIOS!!

THE CAPPED NASAL GHOST IS ON THE PROWL!!!!

the Monsoon

2007-06-22T23:45:00.000-07:00

Well folks....Monsoon is here...the time of the year when mornings are as chilling as the night n just as wet n dark....
there ain't any more comfortable ,cosy, n warm place then your bed nor is there any thing more enchanting then sipping a hot cup of coffe or tea leaning outside your window n feeling the drops of rain and cool breeze on your face...while your tv keeps singing all the new songs including those of himesh reshamiyaji .
This is the time when you realise how bad n boring it feels to be locked inside jail all day...
This is the time of the year when there is water,water everywhere still ur taps go dry every alternative days n u just cant help but think about rain water harvesting!
There is greenery everywhere from grasses to trees n so are the walls of builings due to leaking cielings n all....
There is water all over floor of ur house enough to sink half of you but none in the staorage tank above...unless the lid is open
it is the time of the year when walking on a footpath is considered unsafe with 2 n 4 wheelers splashin all water on roadside upon you...
this is the time of the year when people stand in a bus shelter not for the bus...
well monsoon is here n so with it comes tons of happiness....n goes with it the power n cable that made people happy before its arrival....

but u cant help but love monsoon.....coz afterall its THE MONSOON people...!!!
and as u can see tis is time of the year when i have nothin else to do ...sitting in my room from the fear of gettin cold if i venture out on a beautifull rainy day....n i blog away on this blog of mine....which nobody would have read had they got nyother work to do,..

kalam'ity'...in the nation

2007-06-21T09:49:00.000-07:00

Well....i want Dr.Kalam back...so do every other person in india....but still he probably wont be the next President...all we get after such a remarkable President is a puppet President..like our puppet P.M.....they arent inspired to lead a nation nor will they have any to the general masses....this is the sorry state of affair in the nation today...n we call ourselves democratic..i mean wht about people's choice.???these useles ministes elect a person who is benifiary for them....damn ministers!!!
Nation is ignored for the personal benifit of a single person.....what saught of democrazy is that...ny anwers..??none that i can see.....

2007-04-13T07:57:00.000-07:00

THE HIGHWAYS,THE TEMPLES,THE GODS,THE MONKEYS,THE RIVER,THE FISHES,THE STARS,THE PEOPLE,THE MOBILES&THE BEEDIES

2007-02-05T07:02:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone….after receiving the 1st feedback about this blog [a positive one i.e]..i was greatly inspired a write more…..and was just waiting for a good topic to come up….that came yesterday in the form of a cal from my friend Nihar…he invited me and another friend preetham on a trip to some place near k.r.nagar....as far as I knew and understood from his call was that place had a dam and was called as ********katte……*s indicate that I didn’t understand the word.
Anyways I was free as it was a Sunday[actually am free everyday]..i agreed and thus we went to his house from where we 3 and nihar’s parents were to go in his car.we started of at about 12:30pm.we were treated with an amazing road…….its just a pleasure to be driving on that road from mysore to k.r.nagar……but then may be I was too happy because we we soon found ourself driving on the most disgusting ,rotten[if those can be used to describe how bad that road was]road with all shapes of stones and rocks on it.
But the journey was still enjoyable as nihar started narrating the story of a recent kannada flick “jothe jotheyalli”[in English its called together together…..etc etc].anyways we drove on and on to a place now clearly sounding as ‘chun chun katte’….that place has a dam and the most important thing is…it has a beautiful temple of Lord Ram.
We reached that small village finally... and parked the car & got down only to be surprised and amazed by the amazing gushing sound of the river KAVERI near by”wow” it was truly amazing.But before running towards the river we went to the temple. The entrance was lined like in many other temples by beggars. But that’s not the only thing the moment we entered inside we were greeted by monkeys of all sizes…big,small,fat,young,small&old.there I came to know about the myth that Lord rama had visited the place and that the voice of the mighty gushing sound of the river can’t be heard inside the “garbha gudi”[that’s where the idol of the god is placed inside a temple].I had my doubts…..but was proved wrong and from then on I am thinking why the hell is it still called a myth …it’s a fact.
This temple is also special because the idol of sita devi is on the the right side of lord rama.
Even while being amazed by all the amazing ,unnatural, about that temple…I was quite let down by what I saw on the walls,above the door,etc. some read”shri rama photo studio koduge”[presented by shri rama photo studio] and the other read “marble decorations by mr.revanna&sons”……damn…..why do they want to advertise on temple walls too??? Some may argue that it was a charity …but I say it’s a namesake charity….literally.
On the way out we saw a overweight ,well fed monkey still prying for more food from other devotees.
The moment we stepped out we were again Enchanted by the River and directly headed towards it…..we crossed a bridge which had no support both below nor on the sides…and the climbed rocks boulders and made our was to a nice spot where in the water was flowing at high speed between the rocks…we rested and enjoyed feeling of the gushing water on our legs and watched some really brave men diving and swimming in that powerful current of water.
And not to miss was watching tiny black fishes trying to jump up and above the falls before us....and some jumping too high and getting caught by the snake birds waiting above with their wings spread wide ...From there on we went to a place called ramanathapura[its about 100kms from mysore]
Or should it have been devasthanapura……it had as many as 4 temples all around each other….1st we visited the farthest of the 4 temples which had a pushkarini[lake a big one] with big ,really big fishes of all kinds…..we started feeding those giants tiny round biscuits and watched how 4 or fve fishes battle for that tiny piece even though they may have been eating the same thing from morning. We did this for sometime until I had a faintest doubt on preetham [or more lovingly called mama] that he may be eating half the biscuits that we were giving him 2 feed the fishes[sorry mama…….if u r reading this..am just kidding] .from the pushkarini we went to the temple built by the “CHOLAS”…who had set out to make an impressive decorations on the walls surrounding the main temple...with elephants,parrots,men,women and all ... in a single night and had left it incomplete cause they were beaten by the sun in this race.It was just beautiful to look…..the elephants ..the parrots…and parrots and even more parrots…….it has to be seen to be belived and to be amazed at.then from there after loading ourselves with 3 or 4 packes of timepass kadlekai[groundnuts] we went to the other 3 temples and and to be amazed by them…..
By the time we left Ramanathapura it was 7 pm……It was dark already and hoping and praying that the road will be much better than the one we took in the morning ..we set of….
We passed dozens of bullock carts riding away into the darkness behind……the night turned in and it was pich dark……yeah we switched of the the headlights he he….
There were hardly any headlights all the way………we passed through several small villages with people on the road half drunk seemed as if we had disturbed them from our headlights……we drove on ….and were sometimes blocked by huge truckload of dry grass on tractors…..and sometimes we were met by 2 pairs of eyes and a glowing red beedi [yeah that’s the bullocks and the guy riding the bullock cart with a beedi dangling from his mouth]
I was also amazed by one more thing….in those tinly dark villages on the way…..one thing was evident……all had a glowing green thing in their hands[yeah a cell phone!!!!!!]and a beedi in between their lips…huh…THE GREAT INDIAN MOBILE REVOLUTION AND ALSO THE CIGGARETE [electricity needs to catch up though]with nothing else to do we started star gazing….wow..i could easily see a billion more stars than I could have back here in mysore…..after the star came the moon which strangely was changing colours according to mama 1st it was bright yellow the pale yellow …..and the white and then green[that’s the tinted glass].And continuing eating the kadlekais...and looking at the tiny bulbs hung on the electric poles which were supposed to be the 'tubelights'
In the mean time we had a song session as it was becoming increasingly unbearable to hear nari[yeah that is nihar] sing the only 2 words that he remembered of a song from the film jothe jotheyalli….the old..the new….the hindi..the English..the kannada…and last but not the least ….HIMESH RESHAMIYYA’S [was the spelling correct??] CHAKNA CHAKNA…….
And thus driving back on the thankfully superb road we arrived back to mysore which was surprisingly feeing a lot cozy, peaceful, enchanting, homely& beautiful than the places that we had just visited…..THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME.
I was back at 11pm i.e about 11 hours away from home…….and quickly jumped onto the bed cause I had college at 8 the next moring…damn….life continous…again………..

and so I slept of with the gushing sound of the river still resounding in my ears and the big fishes still swimming and eating before my eyes….and that unexplainable feeling of warmth…cold…..power…devotion……fear …and the cold running trough the my spine when one enters the temple still fresh in my heart and mind …I ..ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EVERYDAY DREAMS THAT U DREAM IN THE NIGHT

2007-01-31T09:09:00.000-08:00

Hmm…..I had a tremendous brainwave 2day…….that I will post something in my blog!!!![I really meant it---something]
So I sat in front of my computer which was looking quite different from what it used to look like before……it was looking more like a badly solved jigsaw puzzle with a white monitor[instead of a black one] ,black C.P.U, and a grey set of speakers….and yeah a black keyboard. All I could do was ignore all these eye catching distractions and concentrate on writing something on my blog[hardly any one has commented on my earlier posts…so I have no idea if the blog is being read at all!!].
But there was something missing in all this!!!
Hmmm….I had no idea about what 2 write this time….coz nobody had cut any trees nor had I studied as much in the last 2 or 3 days…..so I had to write something new …..but new what????
What should I write about????
My yesterday nights horrific dream…in which I was being chased by a shark in a Limousine [yeah that’s right!!!] coz I had accidentally broken one of its egg[yeah right again] while I was rock climbing[yeah u just won a million dollars…u r right again].
Or should I write about how my vehicles light switch kept switching on by itself [I know it wasn’t by itself but still…]
Or how disgusted I was when I drove into a swarm of flies under a street light of which some went into my eyes nose, mouth..etc etc[yuck!!!!!]
Or what was my experience while watching The American Pie 5[please don’t ask]?????
Or what the hell am I supposed to write????

There was a flash…n another flash n then it glowed bright….the tube light… yeah…..I confess … it is my brain!!!!

I had just hit an idea…..I will write what I was feeling at that very time…& .I was swearing on my imagination for making me dream something as drastic as a shark chasing me…and as dumb as the switching on of lights by itself…as yucky as running into a swarm of disgusting pests an as funny as an American pie ….
So am writing this thing…and I can’t imagine what you the reader might be going through while reading this …..”He really didn’t have any other job to do except write this thing….right”…and even am thinking the same thing “these people really don’t have any other job but to be reading this blog”

And in the end I rejoiced at having had to write something interesting and having written some incredibly stupid crap …….

TRINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!

WAT THE…………………………
Its 8:00 in the morning……ohOOOO…………SO WAS I DREAMING OF WRITING THAT ALL CRAP OF A THINGS?????
WOW…….DREAMZZZZZ

THANK GOD……..I DIDN’T RUN IN2 THAT HUGE DAMN SWARM OF DISGUSTING ALIENS LIKE YUCKY CREATURES WITH WINGS [AGGGGRRRH………THAT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!]

HAPPY READING!!!!!!
TATAAAA and SORRY for all the pain you've been through and will be through he he